2365. Advisory for Men #02

I delayed this series because men don’t listen to men on this subject. They don’t listen either to women, even when their woman tries to convince them of stuff that appears here. So, ladies, here’s your chance. Men won’t believe me alone. So, if you endorse specific items below, then men are more likely to learn something new if you add credibility by confirming accuracy about the female nature.

It doesn’t take much to add credibility. Send a comment to endorse or disagree or just send a T or F alongside each item number you consider accurate.

11. Modern women learn what they know about men from other women. Much of it is wrong. You can best ‘unteach’ them with honest displays of masculine character strength and integrity. Be your manly self, true to your character, and not what others expect of you.

12. You know in your heart how you should treat women. The lessons you have learned in life from women and your buds are probably wrong, just as what women know about men is wrong. God created both sexes to be compatible as mates, not opponents living different lives under the same roof.

13. If she hasn’t or doesn’t learn to cook, she has no intention of devoting herself to keeping ONE man. Look to her mom as source of other shortcomings.

14. A woman will do and improve on what she’s praised for. OTOH, she will slow doing what she’s not recognized for and stop what she’s criticized for.

15. Just as her criticism of you in bed smashes your ego, ditto for her. If you don’t have the incentive to match your skills with her desires, you’re not the lover boy you envision yourself to be.

16. Where do you think to look if, over time, wife’s attitude about sex starts to sour? She seeks to please you, but if you deny her intimacy, your relationship sours in the bed.

17. Intimacy to a woman? Soothing playfulness and touching during foreplay that sends a loud message of how important her body is to you. Emotionally embracing during and after intercourse. Cuddling, snuggling, and listening to endearing words whispered as after-play.

18. Romance to you is preface to foreplay. To a woman, romance is adventure into dreamy thoughts of how important she is and how great she can be to her man. Even a wife of many years dreams of romance; it’s her reward for trying so hard. You’ll do better as husband keeping yours a good woman by romancing her well and often.

19. It’s fashionable. Modern women don’t like themselves as women. They see themselves with all the disadvantages and men with the easy way of life. If you want a good woman, you have to find ways to make her like herself as a woman, cook, friend, cook, girlfriend, cook, fiancé, cook, wife, cook, housekeeper, cook, mother, cook, and eventually grandmother and cook for a dozen. Fulfilling responsibilities at home contributes most to your being satisfied with your life—that is, without breakup, divorce, child support, alimony, and having to blend families next time.

20. When a woman earns her merit badges by cooking for others, she knows where she stands in their lives without acknowledgment except their licking of lips. This is apropos. You can kick a woman’s child and get away with it easier than kick her cooking and get by with it. (Jokingly from a single mother friend, who’s a helluva good woman for some man.)


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences

20 responses to “2365. Advisory for Men #02

  1. surfercajun

    11. T …to believe in yourself alone, in your talent, skills, job, and masculine behaviors.

    12. T… also learned from mother and other females within the family unit.

    13. T

    14. T

    15. T

    16. T …not only in bed but can pour outside into other areas wishing to prove herself with other outside sources. Validation from others.

    17. T but….depending on her mood. Sometimes a smash and go is good. ((wink))

    18. T …AND the chase/wooed. (just a little bit) 🙂

    19. T….giggles @ cooking, cooking, and cooking. (scene from Iron Man: THIS LOOKS IMPORTANT!)

    20. T….VERY, TRUE…. licking of beater blades and bowls. A woman likes to know that her efforts are much appreciated.

  2. I totally agree with all of these. Number 11 is very wise indeed and I loved this, “.. honest displays of masculine character strength and integrity. Be your manly self..”

    Cooking can be a real problem these days, many people don’t know how, so I would extend that “something domestic.” Women are nesters, so “devoting herself to keeping ONE man,” can show up in other ways too, concern about whether or not you are wearing a coat, bringing you a cup of coffee, doing laundry, watering plants, things that show an emotional investment in both you and building a nest.

  3. MT

    #11 is wonderful!

    And #20 made me chuckle. I kick in to defensive mode if someone knocks my cooking!! I try very hard so it’s deflating when someone complains.

  4. Anonymous

    11. T

    12. T

    13. T

    14. Absolutely T

    15. T

    16. T

    17. Very T

    18. Very T

    19. Very T

    20. T

  5. My Husband's Wife

    Nailed it again—all answers are TRUE!

  6. Some Other Guy

    These are all very good with a caveat. In some couples i have seen, where the woman wears the pants and seems to merely tolerate the husband’s existence, I don’t think any of these apply. In these cases no matter what the man does, his efforts are met with scorn.

    Regarding #18, husbands/men have no idea what romance means. And I am only being slightly facetious.

    Sir Some Other Guy,
    I agree with all you say. Some men I’m reasonably sure consider romance and foreplay to be synonymous.

    • Meow Meow

      Sad to say sometimes (Often because of deep seated fear) a woman will “Step In” to wear the pants when the man for whatever reason won’t. I’ve seen that very often. Like the henpecked husband. I doubt the woman initially wanted to be the hen, but a weak/out of it guy will let it happen.

      Then later if it has gone on for too long, the woman no longer trusts the man to wear the pants, or “Rooster Up”. At this point it is very hard to change the situation without a lot of feathers flying.

      • Some Other Guy

        Yes, so true. The guy has lost his wife a long time ago. It would take drastic measures to turn it around.

  7. Meow Meow

    18 and 19 SO VERY TRUE. The dream of a happy future together keeps many women sustained and propelled and hopeful even if the current situation seems dire. Romance helps keep women motivated through the bad times with dreams of a future where there can be harmony. But it has to be consistent.

    Home Ec was devalued, sneered at and taken out of the schools so unfortunately most little girls learn to grow up too soon and put away the dolls, tea sets and E-Z bake ovens. The competition turns from whose cupcakes taste the best and whose dress is prettiest to who can look most like the latest pop star they imagine boys drool over.

    (Funny note) Or so they think….the main audience for a lot of the concerts are not boys, but other girls and gay kids!

    • Eric

      Not only was Home Ec done away with; but the public schools also eliminated Physical Education as a requisite. Now the young women not only can’t cook, but are fat too.

      Sir Eric.

      It’s epidemic and spreading at least where I live. Modern women don’t like themselves as female. They eat heavily to enjoy and like themselves better only to find obesity and like themselves even less.

      Food for women is not the answer to any female problem of the heart, and everything in a female’s life should be a heart rather than mind problem. Men are born to follow their minds, women to follow their hearts.


      • Meow Meow

        And there is almost no recess to speak of. Kids get no chance to burn off extra energy and it becomes diverted into stress, bullying each other, eating more and the sedentary lifestyle. 6 or 7 hours a day at a desk is terrible for anyone adult or child. I am all for more recess, more phys. ed and more kinesthetic learning through doing.

        • My Husband's Wife

          Good points about activity level. I don’t believe any human being (young or old) was meant to sit at a desk for 40 hours a week. Add staring at a computer / television in the evening and it is a recipe for poor health and psychological issues. (And agreed about how important home ec class is.) As Americans, most just buy everything and don’t make much anymore for ourselves such as food, clothing, decorations for the home. We’ve even farmed most of our production work to other countries. I believe that humans were built to create and when we become purely passive consumers, we become depressed and uninspired.

          • Miss Gina

            Agreed with all of the above. Activity for sport and for work both produce feel-good substances in the brain. Accomplishment (winning a game, improving skills, creating something) produces more of the same.

            So much of the cure for depression comes from just doing *something* productive, as well as learning to take charge of one’s circumstances. I think we women have a lot fewer neuroses when we take up hobbies that produce beautiful things, like sewing and needlepoint. (How did feminists manage to classify that stuff as “drudgery” anyway, compared to sitting in an office typing?)

            Re: activity level in school–When I was home schooling my boys, sometimes when they were elementary age, I would be reading to them and they would just start picking at each other for no apparent reason. It didn’t get far before I sent them outside to run around the house several times. They always came back exhausted (and a little embarrassed) and were good until lunchtime.

            Long, drawn-out teaching sessions are useless, anyway. Older, experienced educators who mentored us in home schooling knew that a child’s attention span equals one minute per year of age.

            Also, education in practical things (i.e., home ec, shop, etc.) fires young imaginations about adult aspirations. In my experience, most kids can and will learn to excel in academics *if* they have something “real” (like adult skills) they want to use them for. Few kids enjoy academics for their own sake…

      • curlyblondy

        sir guy. how does a woman tackle men and women who pressures her (with good intentions) to favor her mind? my husband is really impressive, and good to me. sometimes i feel he tries to improve me by making me more logical to him, but i base my actions on premises not known to him or others and which i read here promotes compatibility. i have always acted like this so i haven’t changed from the woman he married.

        Your Highness Curlyblondy,
        You say “men and women who pressure….” Are there new players in that group? Or, the same ones who have done the same for years?

        • curlyblondy

          the same ones, sir guy.

          Your Highness Curlyblondy,

          I can only guess about three points: 1) Your decision-making processes differ enough from theirs that they think you can do better by their standards and expectations. 2) You sound like your processes have served you well over the years, so why change now?

          3) Unless there’s some wheel that needs oil or grease to calm their nerves irritated by what they call your squeaky decisions, I’d say leave well enough alone. Do what you think works best for you and yours. It sounds like you’ve done well for this long.


  8. ari

    Great list!
    Pretty accurate and with regards to cooking: I once dated a man who would not eat my cooking. I’m not a bad cook. It was insulting and hurtful. To put it in perspective for the men…criticism of your woman’s cooking is the equivalent a lady’s criticism of her man’s sexual ability…in my opinion anyway.

    Your Highness Ari,
    You hit the nail right on the head. I’m using it in post 2369 tomorrow.

  9. #14 — Super-extremely (or should I say “double-plus”?) TRUE
    #15 & 17 — true
    #18 — again, VERY TRUE

    By this I don’t mean that the others are false; it’s simply that these 4 stuck out most to me as being very true.

  10. prettybeans

    You know what Sir, you have totally nailed it on the head by linking trust with indelible dependability on the part of the gent. Simply put, if I cannot depend on you, surely then where will trust come from?
    When it comes to choosing a Mr Good Enough, ‘admiration, respect, trust and ONLY THEN love’ is the path I mean to take

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