2367. Advisory for Men #04


31. You want to know her sexual history so you can figure out what she’s done, who with in case you meet them or she meets them again, and what’s the probability she will be true to you. If she’s smart she won’t disclose her sexual past outside of marriage or quality of it inside. She intuitively knows it will be used against her some way some day. If you can’t honor her wishes for privacy about her sexual history, how can you care enough to trust her on other things?

32. She did not marry to provide you with frequent and convenient access to sex but for frequent and convenient intimacy for her that comes from providing you what you want. If you can’t make those two factors balance out to the satisfaction of both of you, she will disappoint you because you’re doomed to disappoint her first.

33. You consider whatever you pay as romance that leads to foreplay. She considers foreplay as the price you pay for intercourse. Neither is adequate to her unless romance elevates her importance and foreplay provides intimacy.

34. If you can do something, women feel they can too. So, they duplicate men. Unless you prefer such a woman, don’t overeat, flirt around, cheat, put career before job, job before her, get in someone’s face, demand obedience, talk like a drunken sailor, demand submissiveness, or continually spotlight whatever you see as your prerogatives over a woman. She will tend to either copy you, or resist, resent, and retaliate in her own not-so-sweet way.

35. Unsuccessful marriage often works this way. You’re perfect or nearly so. She sees a few minor flaws that need improvement. You resist her efforts that start out as attempts to improve your contribution to the marriage and then turn personal when you don’t or can’t abide her wishes. She resents, her morale declines, she turns negative and then bitter, and then regurgitates you into an ex.

36. She seeks harmony in the home. It begins here. You are master of the present-day events and matters outside the home. She is master of the home and the family future. In effect, you’re chief executive officer (CEO) and she is chief operating officer (COO) reporting to you.

37. A woman willing to be devoted to you above all others MUST be near-perfect. You’re not the hero she claims nor the specimen you presume but the Mr. Good Enough most likely to fit her ideal of a husband—someday you’ll get there with her help, of course.

38. If she can’t or won’t cook and do housework but provides good sex, can you afford to compensate for the first two? Will her ‘good sex’ even remain at home?

39. Being present with your woman or wife is not enough. She has to ‘feel’ your presence by your talking WITH her. She needs frequent confirmation by your exchanging thoughts, emotions, and ideas that prove with verbals and actions that you’re still connected to HER.

40. You can be grateful for her keeping herself pretty by your keeping yourself handy to take care of what concerns her. If she can’t depend on you, what happens to her respect of you?

7 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, exes, marriage, sex differences

7 responses to “2367. Advisory for Men #04

  1. These ideas are very relatable. All good things to think about.

  2. Some Other Guy

    #31: I was very nosy about my wife’s sexual history. Turns out she had nothing to hide. I believe it is a mistake for any man to avoid carefully vetting a wife to be. And really, a lot of that vetting can be done covertly. Everyone has those little “tells” that are freely observable to anyone who is careful enough to pay attention to them.

    #35. This is a tricky one. some people like to use these little suggestions for improving your life as a weapon. Sometimes these suggestions are things the suggester doesn’t even do for themselves. EG, “you need to lose some weight”, said by the spouse that is #30 overweight. What do you think about that Sir Guy?

    Sir Some Other Guy,

    I agree with again.

    As to #35, my response would be: “In the everyday, normal course of events, I love to follow those who lead by example.” If that didn’t work, next time I would add: “Did you see that new dish who moved in down the block?”

    Guy

  3. Dear Sir Guy,

    Good list. Re: #40: I would suggest that a man really take note of the kind of effort it takes for a woman to look great, especially as the years pass. Metabolisms decline, babies change female body shapes, daily duties can steal time for primping, and sad events can steal joyful appearances, especially for wives who don’t receive attention that makes them feel special.

    Any man who shows appreciation for his wife’s efforts to look good will get more of the same.

    If he goes so far as to put in extra efforts toward his own appearance, that is the ultimate in showing appreciation for his wife’s efforts.

    Miss Gina,
    I love it when pretty women present what you did above. It is so clear and appropriate that I’m inspired to steal and publish it today. Thank you. Most relevant and most generously offered. (See #41)
    Guy

    • Meow Meow

      Fantastic, Miss Gina! A man who shows the appreciation of his wife’s primping/working out/efforts despite the daily struggle is a good one for sure….it will pay back in spades and help counteract the typical lady’s inner dialogue (I look terrible, darn another wrinkle, I don’t want anyone to see me naked after that last baby, who cares I don’t look good anymore so why bother…. etc.)

    • Miss Gina

      Thank you, Sir Guy. I’m honored. 🙂

  4. Southernbelle

    Sir Guy,
    Do you think most mature men know and understand #40 as far as losing a woman’s respect is the slippery slope that changes how she is with him. Even if she doesn’t want it to be so. Also, that the best women are ALWAYS observing men’s behavior and words.

    Your Highness Southernbelle,
    Nowadays, men don’t think much along those lines. A few who depend on their nature instead of pop culture to get what they want may be aware of what you describe. Women are nowadays lifting female standards and expectations off of men, and men behave in their own best interests and largely ignore female interests except to get sex.
    Guy

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