2372. Advisory for Men #06b


52. How you respect their mom has a major influence on how the kids love her. How she treats you has a major influence on how the children respect you.

53. You need everyone’s respect. It makes your word the ultimate and you’re the last authority to whom they can appeal. Your best role is as an appeal judge rather than sentencing judge. Let mom do the sentencing. Undermine her authority and you will produce problem kids. It teaches them to disrespect, ignore, and then subvert higher authority—also to play one parent against the other. So, don’t reverse her decisions or even let kids suspect you think her wrong. (Except maybe with a little sympathy when she is so obviously wrong no one can admit less. But you still back her because she’s your most valuable asset in the world even though she may be wrong. With your undivided support, a wife can very easily admit she’s wrong and correct her mistakes. She will relieve her guilt as long as you don’t blame her and set up her competitively against you.)

54. As primary family leader, declaring the following as policy will settle many arguments before they arise. “Blame is forbidden in this home. Those who use the pointy finger of blame will be found guilty of not finding a more respectful way to complain about something or someone else.” Then, the tough part: You have to set the example.

55. Don’t let the kids see their mother contradicting or reversing your decisions. Make sure you and she support each other until you take issues behind closed doors, and even then don’t let the kids know the results of who won. If you make parental disputes any business of the kids, they quickly learn to play one parent against the other.

56. You think so much of male dominance. Yet, the sexes are made differently and the female gender is actually the superior one. You see, she has the relationship expertise to bring and hold a couple together by letting men think their dominance is supreme. You don’t have such talent and skill. (Where do you head when relationship management is needed? Even know what that means? Not to worry. Women know intuitively not to spread the word or act as if the female gender is superior. They gain immensely by presuming the male gender at least bigger and perhaps better if not superior.)

57. Beware! Of course eating without regard for the after effects is each woman’s business. However, they turn around and blame you and other men for not treating them as if they are attractive. Example: Women dress erotically and exotically to compensate or hide fat deposits or bodies and men react quite naturally with short- but little long-range interest. You’re not to blame for their self-induced misery, and they don’t listen to men about such things anyway.

58. You’re biblically flawed by insisting that your woman submit based on one bible passage to your will in domestic matters. Several reasons: a) God gave her a free will also. b) You may just not be worth it. c) It’s her instinctive nature to lean in the direction of submissiveness in order to keep her relationships harmonized. But she only leans in that direction. If she doesn’t like your insistence, she’s free to tell you to kiss off. It all means that you’re worth more when you respect her options and use persuasion more than absolute submission.

59. Your nagging her is as bad as the reverse. Usually worse, because it kills her spirit about liking you while it only makes you frustrated or angry.

60. Your laziness weakens her likeability of you and thus weakens your love of her. It sounds convoluted because it is. If you’re not likeable to her, there goes her loyalty to you. As you know, you can’t love a woman not loyal to you.

7 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter, Home CEO, marriage

7 responses to “2372. Advisory for Men #06b

  1. prettybeans

    This entire series is pure gold Sir.
    It would be a right shame if there isn’t a gentleman or two who isn’t consuming this information..
    A Happy New Year to the entire WWNH family!

    Your Highness Prettybeans,
    Thanks, Honey. You continue to shine in my eyes.
    Guy

  2. This has been an awesome series to read, very insightful.

    My husband is wonderful, but our last child was unexpected and hubby was so delighted, she became his baby girl. Unlike our other children, suddenly I had no authority and she quickly learned to play mom and dad against each other. She’s a teen ager now and doing okay, but dad can really see what went wrong. Both parents need to be really careful not to undermine each other, but rather to back each other up when it comes to the kids. It sure makes life much easier.

  3. gonemaverick

    Sir Guy,

    If this series is meant for men, does that mean I can show it to my MrGoodEnough? I CAN’T show him this website! Could I consolidate all this info into 1 article when you are done and email it to him?

    Your Highness Gonemaverick,

    It’s okay as long as you’re not selling it.

    It will be awful big grouped into one document. I suggest an article or two at a time if you have email or other easy communication.

    Be advised, he will soon ask what is guiding you. Why is he the only one to receive “instructions” such as this? What are doing to improve yourself for a deeper relationship? What will you say then?

    I have always written the blog hopeful that men would read it too. They need to understand women better just as surely as women need to understand men. So, I suggest you expose him to the whole blog. Not essential but it keeps you from looking as if you’re great but he’s lacking.

    Guy

    • curlyblondy

      dear gonemaverick. just a “warning”. to show him at all makes it a piece of cake to find the website, since he can just copy paste a sentence in a search engine and find the place of origin.

    • gonemaverick

      Sir Guy and curlyblondy,

      have decided against showing him the articles for now. maybe someday when we are man and wife.

      Your Highness Gonemaverick,
      You might want to look at “Make Marriage Work” at blog top menu. You might find some workable ideas.
      Guy

  4. Eric

    #58 is a radically misunderstood concept in much of the Manosphere today. They interpret Biblical submission in the same sense the Feminists do: by the Letter and not by the Spirit. What is meant by it is like the polarity of electric current, in the feminine case, submission equals strength and the dynamic of Love can’t function without a balanced polarity.

    When the polarity is radically out of alignment in a culture, it either ends up like the US, where Bruce Jenner is a national hero; or at the other pole like ISIS who think raping a woman makes her a convert by sheer sexual contact with a Moslem.

  5. curlyblondy

    this series is great for getting a perspective. i thought i was a bit manly for disliking being nagged so much.

    showing unity in front of the children is so important…

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