2381. PROVERBS — Sex 01


  1. A man’s urge to conquer another woman never fades. His drive with the same woman fades a couple of years after conquest as romantic love fades.
  2. After conquest, a man’s pursuit of a female stops and his respect stops growing. He now “owns” their sexual agenda, it’s the conqueror’s right.
  3. Cheap and easy unmarried sex seduces and rewards men who look elsewhere even when committed to someone.
  4. Conquest releases the man to look elsewhere. His hunter-conqueror urges are satiated until the next attractive woman moves into the hunter’s view.
  5. Convinced that a man’s innocent touch offends her dignity or sensitivity reflects a woman’s dislike of self, which discourages masculine love.
  6. Starting fellatio costs her a man’s respect, which is essential for his everlasting love, which is essential for his devotion, which is what she needs to keep him for life.
  7. Highest masculine respect equates with real or virtual virginity that arises out of refusing or rejecting other men. No respect equates with promiscuity.
  8. No greater compliment exists for a man than for his sexual performance, which is a primal ingredient in his sense of significance.
  9. Orgasm is reward and not prime mover for initiating sex. Men seek penetration and to make good use of an erection. Women seek intimacy.
  10. Intimacy to a woman is physical contact with a man in a mode that suggests togetherness, her importance to him, and arousal sexually acted on or not.

11 Comments

Filed under courtship, How she loses, virginity

11 responses to “2381. PROVERBS — Sex 01

  1. Some Other Guy

    Disagree w/ you on #6. Now I of course believe that you get most everything right. Yet I have part ways with you on fellatio.

    But lets assume that you are right and my wife stops fellatio. Great. According to you she now has my respect. But what has she gained by getting this respect? She has gained a very pissed off husband who will be wondering what happened to change her mind. A husband who would have some serious questions about what could be going on to change such a fundamental part of our sexuality. A husband who might suspect all kinds of things. Is she having an affair? Is there a major problem in the marriage now? See the problem with #6 is it puts the wife in a no win situation. Either she does it and has a happy husband, but loses his respect. or she avoids it, and has a pissed off husband. Either way she loses.

    The other issue here is this. Why is fellatio any different than any other act of intimacy. Why does she not lose my respect by, say, giving me a massage? Or how about this one. My father broke both his elbows one time. My mom had to wipe his bum for at least a month because he physically could not do it for himself. I don’t think my dad thought any less of my mom after she had wiped his butt for a month. Surely that is more degrading than fellatio? So what makes this one particular act so awful?

    Sir Some Other Guy,

    So, I describe where and how we part ways on fellatio.

    Your causes and effects are basically correct once a couple is into fellatio. Except the part about she stops and gains respect. Not true, the respect she deserved by not yielding is lost. Fellatio is another conquest with similar effect.

    Men do not naturally respect another person; they must earn it. Women need masculine respect in order to gain manly love, and they have to earn that respect. So, what women do and don’t do determines how and how much they are respected by men.

    Our understanding is in their natures. The sexes are born differently. Men are dominant and respectful of those whom they admire and by whom they are denied getting their way. Women are more skillful in outsmarting, outwitting, and outmaneuvering male dominance. Using their skills, women earn male admiration, thereby earn masculine respect, and thereby gain that essential ingredient for manly love, respect.

    Women earn male admiration by not doing what men expect, by being different and not dominate-able as men choose. Male admiration thus breeds masculine respect. It grows by a woman refusing to yield to his dominance. It stops growing when his dominance produces the effect that he seeks. It works much like the bully on the playground; when she yields first time to sex with him, his respect of her stops growing. Their relationship shifts into another mode in which his respect for her grows slowly if at all and then only for her accomplishments that he admires.

    Fellatio is not a female accomplishment he can admire. The zenith of male dominance is penetrating an orifice with his pecker, which generates self-admiration but slows or stops respect for his now totally dominated target. Ergo, whatever respect she earned previously stops growing.

    After conquest her vagina is good for one thing, more of the same. After fellatio, her mouth is good for one thing, and it’s not what she has to say. Men just don’t respect what they conquer for much more than what’s visibly available.

    When a man penetrates his target, he admires himself but not the target. So, a man’s respect slows or stops growing about what she has to say when his target is her mouth. Male dominance thrives on challenges, not wilted acquiescence to where Little Willie wants to poke his head. That’s where disrespect begins.

    I have heard many modern men used to fellatio claim they respect their women. But it’s not the respect of equal cohorts. Due to the prevalence of separation and divorce, I believe it to be more affection for current life with one woman than respect that is so foundational of manly love. Well-respected women—who are respected enough for a lifetime mate and more than just routinely as an expendable associate—are not treated as modern men treat women, and the reverse is also true.

    All of this to say, fellatio does not determine the success or failure of relationships. Far too many other factors and functions determine that.

    Guy

    • Miss Gina

      Sir Guy,

      This is extremely well-written and clearly explained. I tend to agree with you on the subject. I felt disrespected, and my husband got over it. We women have not been taught in these times that we need to earn male respect. We tend to follow our natures and do whatever they want, as we wish they would do for us. It is shocking news that we can do better by denying them what they want, if it is in our interest! Thank you for teaching us to tame these wild creatures we call our men.

    • Eric

      This is a practice—especially men performing it on women—that’s identified with homosexual sex. I can’t see how a man would feel anything but submissive to the woman (i.e. not a conquerer ) by performing it.

      Sir Eric,

      New subject, very relevant, and indicative of un-masculine behavior that sprouts from men who’ve adapted to the feminized world of being submissive to a woman to earn her approval. It signals subservience, which shifts the female to the dominant role from which she is expected to lead. Do women respect such men or want to follow them outside the bedroom?

      I frequently see men standing behind a woman while she pays for something at the counter. His meekness and apparent shame shines in contrast to her dynamic leader role. It makes me wonder; how did he get that mousy? What makes a man yield his natural dominance? Just to have a woman? I doubt it. Of course, she could be the one with money, which is reason enough for his shame.

      Guy

    • Some Other Guy

      Well said Sir Guy and thank you for that reply. All I can say is that given that I have already “conquered” my wife, she will not be earning any respect by denying me oral. She will be earning a very irritated husband. I respect my wife for a million and one things. Her street smarts was something I always admired. I always tell her that her competence at life in general is a big attraction factor for me. On the other hand, she will be earning no admiration by denying me things. The more I would be denied, the more I would want to retaliate actually.

      Now to be fair to you Sir Guy, when you write, you write about how we are designed and how we are in nature and instinctively operate. So I likely do lose a little respect for her in this case. But as you mention it mixed in with so many other factors that this one thing is not the most important.

      Sir Some Other Guy,
      You continue with your useful and cogent mind to contribute admirably to this blog. I’m grateful.
      Guy

  2. Magnolia

    Hello Sir Guy,

    This is an interesting topic and I am glad that Sir Some Other Guy brought up the conversation. I think I recall Lauren, Guy Jr.’s long-time partner, also disagreeing with you on this last time you mentioned it. I never would have thought anything about it, but then again, this is the way my generation feels (I am 40). It’s not taboo *as long as a couple is in a long-term relationship or married*. When it’s cheap and easy and for hook ups, yes, those women get treated badly by men who don’t respect them.

    Your age and the generation you were brought up in determine how you look at it. Wouldn’t you say, Sir Guy? Heck, many ladies your age even had a difficult time just having intercourse with their husbands since they were programmed by society that that’s not what a “decent” girl does. Deprogramming them after marriage is difficult. My grandmother is your age and I think that happened to her and my grandpa, but I can’t ask that directly, of course.

    So, again, I respectfully disagree that men are wired to disrespect women who give them fellatio (unless it’s cheap and easy sex or oral sex), but even if things are the way you say, because it is a different time and society than when you grew up, I think that modern men don’t disrespect their long-time girlfriends or wives. They see it as a mutual, something that they can do to each other and enjoy and an extension of intercourse.

    Here is another perspective on the by the lovely Renee Wade. I’ve learned so much about men, women and relationships with her and with you. 🙂
    http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/02/why-men-love-blow-jobs/

    Sir Guy, please share your thoughts on it and keep up the conversation.

    • Miss Gina

      Your Highness Miss Magnolia,

      I am interested in Sir Guy’s response, also. Maybe I can add a female perspective close in age to you (49). If we read Sir Guy’s response to Sir Some Other Guy closely, it is based on the male nature rather than generational influences. I’m not so sure our grandmothers and their grandmothers were so averse to sex as feminist thinking might have taught us…they ended up with those large families somehow! (wink, wink) My own grandma, at least, was no wilting violet, though she had great respect for the institution of marriage and didn’t blab like modern women sometimes do.

      I think we ladies are wise to avoid those things that–unbeknownst to us–may work against us with our men. Of course they *like* it…That doesn’t mean it’s in *our* interest. Men see everything from a different perspective than we do. Their world consists of “dominate or be dominated.”

      We ladies like to please and to give, but to a man, getting pleasure without earning it is domination, which is poison to their respect (love) for us. Even if there is what appears to *us* to be reciprocity in the act, there isn’t in *his* eyes. To him, it is being serviced. Maybe by a woman he cares about, even loves, yes, but it is still servicing. There is something fundamentally subservient about the woman being willing to do this for him, though it may be subliminal even to him. This has to do with the way men naturally view their physiology as an expression of their dominance, as Sir Guy so clearly explains in his comment above.

      It really isn’t about what we feel or what we want to give…It’s about giving him the chance step up and to earn self-admiration by being a great lover and *pleasing himself by pleasing her*.

      Scientific studies are showing now that the sexual act has powerful effects on forming neural pathways in the brain. So, sex actually sets patterns for the rest of life. True, face-to-face intercourse programs a man to regard his wife as an equal and to find his pleasure and significance in pleasing her. Men value what they earn.

      It all sounds backward from a female view, I know, but…(to put it bluntly), we don’t have the same hardwired need to subjugate the world with our plumbing that males do. If you’ve been around little boys for any amount of time, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. 😉

      We are wise to be aware and act accordingly. For myself, I’ve found that the less I try to please, the more pleasing I become. Do I condemn those who do differently? No. Am I saying it will ruin an otherwise excellent relationship? No…Just offering food for thought…

      Your Highness Miss Gina,
      Thanks for your brilliant understanding of human interaction. It’s worthy of posting as daily article 2383, now view-able at blog home.
      Guy

      • Magnolia

        Hello Miss Gina,

        Thanks for sharing your point of view about this subject! It really is food for thought, as you said. I agree with some things, I strongly disagree with others, but I enjoyed reading what you wrote.

        Many blessings! 🙂

  3. Beloved

    It seems to me that it would be a particularly selfish man who would expect a woman to do such a degrading thing that people in health care are now realizing can cause oral cancers. I guess putting our mouths in unsanitary places isn’t that healthy. Who would have thought it?

    • Meow Meow

      Many good, loving, devoted husbands want oral sex as one of the many ways married people can enjoy each other sexually and although I’m a bit worried about the respect element, if they’re in a good relationship and both people are participating without feeling forced into servitude I don’t see it as selfish or degrading. Of course good hygiene is a necessity regardless, yikes, but cancer can happen from many causes and even to people who have lived otherwise exemplary lives, seemingly for no reason, sad to say.

      • beloved

        Hi Meow Meow, I think it’s that respect element that means it’s most definitely not ok. Of course, I wouldn’t tell anyone else how to live their lives but I am concerned that women think it’s a good, loving thing when the man, subconsciously, doesn’t love her after awhile and maybe begins to despise her and he himself doesn’t even know why. I have also heard that uncircumcised men, no matter how “clean” are still pretty smelly down there and I’ve always heard bad smell=bacteria. Yuck!

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