2385. PROVERBS — Marriage 02


 

  1. Claiming men are only after sex is an off-hand way to blame or impose guilt or attach shame on one man. It makes him both defensive and competitive.
  2. The more devoted husband is to wife, the more easily he can be taught to please her—including sexually.
  3. The better a woman dresses and grooms herself shapes the impression she makes and much of the higher morale she thus brings to both home and workplace.
  4. Enduring love that lasts for a woman’s life is primarily built around her gratefulness for whomever and whatever fulfills her need for a brighter and stable future.
  5. Female modesty tames males. It’s a woman’s greatest counterbalance to male domination. Unless he’s offended, keeping him on the defensive weakens it.
  6. Feminine determination, talent, and skill enables the relationship management expert to exploit husbandly ability to the benefit of wife, mother, and kids.
  7. Feminism brought into the home triggers blame and changes the natural and cooperative battle of the sexes into an unnatural and competitive war.
  8. Feminism sours his day. Her feminist attacks unsettle and perhaps disturb whatever his commitment to her.
  9. Femininity inspires men to prove their worth for one woman and rewards men for acting responsibly as husband and father.
  10. Financial success comes not from how much money you have but from effective control of what you do have.

10 Comments

Filed under courtship, marriage, sex differences

10 responses to “2385. PROVERBS — Marriage 02

  1. Ari

    Regarding #10…I wholeheartedly agree. A rich man is poor if he mismanages what he has…and creates a stressful life for his woman and himself.

  2. Ah gratitude yes, you just aren’t rich until you have what money can’t buy.

    I really liked what Sir Guy said about feminism and shame. That is a huge part of the problem, because feminism is very shaming, and shame is really the enemy of marriage and healthy sexuality. Shame is all about blame which is entwined with pride, which just makes people feel hostile and defiant. We need soft hearts for marriage to work well. Men’s hearts tend to be softer the softer we are with them, and least when it comes to shame and blame.

    • Eric

      That’s why I’ve often said that Feminism, and much of the Manosphere (especially the Gamers) are really Feminists. Even though they seem superficially to be opposites, ‘changing the natural and co-operative battle of the sexes into an unnatural and competitive war’ is what both accomplish. The ideology might sound different but the results are exactly the same.

      • True Eric. Both the Fems and many ‘spherians are all about shaming the other gender and trying to find a partner to dump it all on. That’s a recipe for disaster.

      • Cinnamon

        True, Sir Eric. Like Stalinism and Fascism, Feminism and the Manosphere appear on the surface to be opposed but are actually two sides of the same coin.

        Feminism: “Women are angels and men are evil.”

        The Manosphere: “Men are angels and women are evil.”

        Same circus, different clowns.

        Your Highness Cinnamon,
        Well phrased, succinct, and easily teachable.
        Guy

  3. Sarina

    Regarding the first point, it’s hard not to. I’m not talking about the US, but specifically to where I live where men are never blamed, actually most women find excuses and encourage them to try for sex. It’s backwards, we have a famous celeb male who is also a father that publicly advises his son about girlfriends: ‘”you sleep with them (actually he used very vile and explicit terms) how often you want, and then bye-bye’. That’s why It’s an effort to respect men generally, considering I know already their crude opinions of women, it’s not some men, it’s basically the main thinking of all guys.

    • “That’s why It’s an effort to respect men generally, considering I know already their crude opinions of women, it’s not some men, it’s basically the main thinking of all guys..”

      Interesting, Sarina, because I really struggled with that too. Respect men who seem to gloat over treating women so poorly?? It took a long time and a lot of good men to teach me that that wasn’t true of all men at all, that there are often things going on within men themselves, self-loathing, feelings of worthlessness, that cause some to act that way. Most men really do not share those crude opinions of women at all, they demonstrate a great love for us, they think of themselves as having honor and integrity.

      Language however, I will grant you that, the vast majority of men tend to speak a crude language, they fail to grasp the importance of tone, they see no need to soften those words, and they can be graphic with their sexual imagery. In the olden days we understood these things far better and men would tone it down for “the ladies.” Women need to be able to respect men and men used to understand they needed to provide us with a side of themselves that was worthy of our respect.

    • Cinnamon

      Sarina,

      You are describing culture – do not mistake it for nature. Men are not by nature wired to disrespect women. They are, however, wired to live down to women’s increasingly non-existent expectations and, given the chance, many will do so. Having unconditional respect for the male gender, however, means swimming against the tide in that you always hope for – and make yourself worthy of – the best that men have to offer. This includes refraining from blaming an entire gender for the bad examples set by the worst of the lot. “Collective guilt” is as counter-productive for harmonious gender relations as it is for race relations.

      As Sir Guy has pointed out, a man who lives up to something higher than himself is far less likely to be influenced by the dominant culture. This is the kind of man you should aspire to love and be loved by.

      • Sarina

        That might be true, but I have to force myself to respect and simply forget about the ‘filthy’ words that I hear daily from them either on media outlets or on the streets. There’s nothing really to look up to, I guess the absence of real life positive male examples made me think this way. Anyway, probably I’m not wired to deal successfully with men since I barely have any experience. I’m not even able to talk normally with a man without giggling and acting ‘fake’, it’s that desire to impress which always makes me appear ‘unnatural’, either I’m too mean or simply ‘phony’ so I better stay away until I can be more comfortable.

        • Eric

          Miss Sarina:
          Cinnamon is right is that men have a tendency to follow females’ expectations. When you see in the popular culture that women are swooning over the likes of Justin Bieber, Christian Grey, those ‘Twilight Saga’ freaks, or the Ghetto-Thug-of-the-Week; you also see men trying to look and behave like those creeps. It’s NOT natural for men to follow such examples. But most men today grow up and live in a world where genuine masculinity is not rewarded and not even generally approved of.

          But don’t think that ‘inexperience’ disqualifies you for the better types of men. Those types of men value what they perceive as Innocence, because it equates for many of them as feminine purity. It may be an advantage, rather than a handicap.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s