2388. PROVERBS — Sex Differences 03


  1. Men don’t easily take orders from women; it weakens a man’s sense of significance. But highly feminine women as bosses are easier to win loyalty.
  2. Men don’t depend on affection. Consequently, they don’t think in terms of displaying it often. To show it, they need training by females earlier in life.
  3. People are born with the ability to do good and be good, to be better and do better. Sex differences cause them to do it in very different ways.
  4. The male sex drive arises partially out of desire for pleasure. With women, sex for pleasure is a lesson learned in life.
  5. To women, a man’s emotional unfaithfulness is worse than the physical kind. Men don’t understand that there’s a difference.
  6. Women are born to get their way with a man, it’s a natural protection. Before conquest they compete and after conquest they cooperate as best strategies.
  7. Morality and the Christian religion predominantly serve women and children. Men need neither or so they think as they are born.
  8. Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. It empowers them to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage.
  9. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way than with orders to men. That is, more indirectly, patiently, and persistently.
  10. Women are naturally modest. Men are not but respect women for insistence on it. The difference supports compatibility.

7 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, sex differences, Uncategorized

7 responses to “2388. PROVERBS — Sex Differences 03

  1. “To women, a man’s emotional unfaithfulness is worse than the physical kind.”

    This is really true. Emotional abandonment, not being there for her, not listening to her, not connecting, can feel like a huge betrayal to women. That may well cause more divorces than actual affairs. Many women speak of how “he just wasn’t there for me,” which than leads to, why is he here at all?

    People are human, no man can fulfill all our emotional needs, but just being aware of that one trigger can be really helpful.

  2. anon...

    Number 7 is so True, to a degree
    since MEN tend to brag about ‘atheism’ and among women, it’s RARE

  3. Lyndeeloo

    Dear Sir Guy,

    #9 has me thinking! How can a woman be indirect while still being genuine? I ask because my mother is indirect, but her indirectness comes across as manipulative to her husband and her children. Since manipulative indirectness was what was modeled for me during my formative years, I think I sometimes slip into that kind of behavior. I hate it when it’s used on me or when I see it being done to others, so I know I’m getting better at detecting it, but I’d really love to read your thoughts on this!

    Lyndeeloo

    Your Highness Lyndeeloo,

    Just below Insanitybytes22 provides a well written description of indirectness. I would add additional factors to consider. The difference is between invitation and trickery.

    These are more invitation than manipulation:

    • An honest or innocent hint, suggestive idea, seed-planting, or invitation that doesn’t provide advantage to the giver. (e.g., We need to visit your mother this weekend.)

    • The results don’t matter much to the one who suggests. (e.g., Your dry cleaning should be done today.)

    • To guide someone to avoid their having a problem. (e.g., The gas gauge may below.)

    • To guide someone to maximize their benefit or advantage when direct input would be unwanted or unproductive. (e.g., Fred expecting to see you today?)

    • A wife tries to harmonize her marital or family relationships by imposing her beliefs, values, standards, and expectations rather than her will against the interests of others. (e.g., Get hubby to do a favor he likes to avoid, or require family members to get along better with a glance or glare.

    It is manipulative to use trickery to impose one’s will on others.

    Guy

    • I also would like to learn Sir Guy’s thoughts about the difference between being indirect and being manipulative. I don’t know that there is really a difference.

      Well, I recently challenged a man’s statement that he was who he was and wasn’t going to change. I responded, “It seems to me men love change. They love to problem-solve, they love to learn new skills and refine old ones in order to do so; they love shaking up the status quo in the service of making life better; they love to call out people who only give lip service to making life better. And it’s the essence of manliness to champion others who are having trouble making necessary changes in their lives.”

      I wasn’t trying to get him to do anything, just trying to present my view of things in a way he might actually hear, so I guess that wasn’t manipulation.

      But otherwise the whole indirect comment thing seems to me to have the potential for out and out manipulation.

      Your Highness Edith mcklveen,
      Potential for manipulation? Sure, just throw in some trickery.
      Guy

      • “Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way than with orders to men. That is, more indirectly, patiently, and persistently”

        I think Sir Guy’s words speak more to not giving orders, nagging, making demands, issuing ultimatums, speaking to a man as if he were a child. To be indirect is more about softening your tone, asking for what you want with some humility. I am being manipulative in a way, but only so far as respect and a bit of encouragement, could be deemed manipulative. People, husbands especially, tend to respond to a bit of gentleness, some praise, far better than they do to orders.

        Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
        I love it when pretty women come to my assistance and do it so well.
        Guy

    • Lyndeeloo

      Thank you, Sir Guy and insanitybytes22 for your input!

      A lightbulb went off when I read the last bullet point in your response, Sir Guy! I was feeling so manipulated by my mother yesterday and I realized it was because she was (and is) trying to impose her will over mine, and she’s doing it by trying to make me feel guilty. I think I would respond more positively if she shared her wishes gently rather than trying to guilt me into feeling/thinking differently than I do. It feels as though she’s trying to trick me into agreeing with her by trying to make me feel guilty for having –and sticking to– a well thought out and very reasonable decision I’ve made.

      Do you have any tips on dealing with manipulation?

      Your Highness Lyndeeloo,

      In private, gently, seriously, and eye ball to eye ball, inquire of her: “You impose guilt on me as if you’re still parenting me. I did outgrow that phase. Will you consider doing the same?”

      If she argues back or defends herself, counter with this: “Do you realize that imposing guilt on me is a form of trickery and manipulation; does it make you feel better about yourself? It makes me feel terrible that you think I need it.”

      Guy

      P.S. You still have my favorite screen name.

      G.

      • Lyndeeloo

        Dear Sir Guy,

        Thank you for the advice! It’s so straight forward! I haven’t revisited the topic-in-question with my mother yet, but I’m practicing and preparing in the mean time!

        Well, your compliment about my screen name makes me blush ☺️ and it’s quite a pleasant feeling!

        Lyndeeloo

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