2403. CAUSES and EFFECTS — Group 07

  • Candy and flowers are to wives what lack of blame is to men. Husbands are obligated to pay the price wives expect. She only has to NOT affix blame on him. It’s called harmonizing. She loses interest in harmonizing when he’s unwilling to pay the simple price of pleasing her, especially with a surprise at least now and then. Admittedly, many women are remiss; they are born to know better. However, many have learned to think they can abandon their nature and in courtship hide their tendency to be that way.  Women who become different after marriage can expect husbands to resent it or worse. Some blame their husband even when frequently pleased with gifts. Reality: Regarding blame, it’s blame for anything. Offense is not the issue; men won’t cordially accept her finger pointing, regardless of guilt. They tend to defend by proving her wrong in details to prove her wrong in the whole. Reality: Women are well equipped from birth to handle a man’s offenses in ways other than trying to inflict guilt with blame. Reality: Men reject guilt especially from a woman whom they expect believes in them. They also get rid of guilt quickly, even when they impose it on themselves, which happens more infrequently than in women.
  • The sincere female smile flashed at a male is more electric than the female body. Men say otherwise because of their primary interest in sexual action. But let a husband be smashed down by his world, dispirited and in need of uplifting. Then, his woman’s encouraging smiles—if she is beautiful and impressively keep-able to him—do a better job than sex of restoring faith in himself. His woman’s belief in him is his recovery and restoration. It’s a major reason a man wants a mate, to restore his spirits when he can’t admit that he needs it. Reality: Men are harshly disposed against admitting they could be depressed or have other inflictions that discourage the normal person.


Filed under courtship, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

4 responses to “2403. CAUSES and EFFECTS — Group 07

  1. Shermy

    Guy, I’m curious about something. I feel like a lot of this advice regarding blame is predicated on men who are actually competent. It seems to me these days that women have less patience with men in general because they DO lack BASIC competency which when women are in the face of, they can actually respect. If today’s woman is CONSTANTLY around men who lack the the kind of core competencies of masculinity that attract natural complementary femininity, how can you expect women to respect them? She may as well be alone and do much better.

    Your Highness Shermy,
    Good questions well phrased. Thanks. I shall post my response as #2404, probably Friday or Saturday at latest.

  2. Anne

    So if a man may be depressed or otherwise emotionally off-kilter, it is better to uplift him with sincere smiles than to directly address the imbalances of emotion? Let him deal with those himself?

    Your Highness Anne,

    Yes, smiles to start. Then add encouragement for ‘us’ more than empathy and sympathy for his discouragements. Confirm that he’s likeable to you and you’re loyal to him without reference to his ‘off-kilter’ situation. IOW, stay out of his immediate business and surround him with respect and confirmations of who and what he is to you, ‘us’, and himself.

    Unless he tells you, he’d rather you not know the details behind whatever disturbs him; you may judge harshly. Not that he necessarily fears your judgement. His nature causes him to prevent ‘losing’ to a woman and especially not being found wanting by the weaker sex.


    P.S. Yes, he prefers to work it out himself except for specifics he may ask for.

  3. Miss Gina

    Dear Sir Guy,

    This explains an event that just happened earlier this week. Hubby told me with face averted and voice breaking that it makes him feel so happy when I smile…that it means everything will be OK. I didn’t realize such a little thing could have such a big effect, all these 30 years!

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