2404. Core Competencies: I—Masculine and Feminine

At post 2403 Her Highness Shermy made these excellent points:

“I feel like a lot of this advice regarding blame is predicated on men who are actually competent. It seems to me…men in general…lack BASIC competency…. [T]he kind of core competencies of masculinity that attract natural complementary femininity, how can you expect women to respect them?”

Masculine core competencies vary in response to feminine core competencies. Women naturally use their relationship expertise more assertively and reliably while living in liberty and being equally free to relate as they wish. Women lead and men follow in the process of gender interaction It’s just as God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize us.

In the world of inter-gender relationships, women act and men react. It isn’t very easily observed. The surface effects are too obvious. The hidden effects on one’s emotions are affected by every encounter with another person, and it governs future events.

As a couple and on the surface, women act cooperatively indirect and enable themselves to make relationships successful. Men act competitively direct and enable themselves to accomplish things (e.g., build wealth for women and children) and promote the relationships necessary to make things work out successfully for their individual goals. Both sexes seek to get their way. She primarily wants a relationship; he primarily wants sex with a reliable mate. (The mature man has too much to accomplish to waste time chasing sex or dealing with an unreliable woman.)

In the workplace, yes, men lead. It also appears that men are the leaders in the culture, but they’re not when men respect individuals and like women as a gender. Men are born with the natural desire to please women they respect and like. Not totally but mostly because women have control over the availability of convenient and frequent sex. Pleasing a woman is an example of men acting less than direct.

Men are the leaders at the surface, but it’s the female pressures in background to which men respond. If a man likes a female’s pressure, he respects her and indirectly accepts and tends to follow her lead. If he dislikes her pressure, he directly rejects and shoots off in another direction, usually with disrespect showing. It results in this: When women have the respect of men or a man and play their cards respectfully, men indirectly accept and follow their wishes.

Women respond to how men act. The accumulation reflects how women think as a gender, and it becomes the source of what guides everyone in society. IOW men determine what to do and women determine how they wish men would do it. However, men in particular can’t long tolerate being told HOW to fulfill their responsibility—worst kind of leadership—and so women know instinctively and learn intuitively to hint and men conclude HOW to do what women wish they would do. Men act, and women adjust and upgrade their values and standards to a higher level. (At least that’s how it worked before Feminism destroyed the model our foremothers worked out so well.)

Nowadays, unfortunately, women are divided into political groups—e.g., age, education, feminists, lesbians, wives, wedded moms, bachelorettes, raunchy singles, porn gals, single moms, teen spenders, thirtysomething grandmothers. Wives demean husbands and vice versa. Women can’t agree and unify on common ground. People agree on so little that men have no ‘guidebook’ of feminine values, standards, and expectations to guide them toward settling down reasonably risk-free with one woman.

It’s a political consequence. No longer do most men want wife and family. Womanhood is divided with too many angles and goals that discourage marriage. Singles don’t know how to lure and capture a man. Wives know too little about keeping a husband. People no longer appreciate how wives fill and steady the home, society, and culture with the kind of femininity that adds color to a man’s B&W life. And so, men have little or no interest in pleasing women except for sex.

In background, men follow the female lead. They have become exactly what women have been describing and calling them for decades, and it continues to worsen. The root is Feminism, the glue is everyone seeking and expecting more respect and recognition, and the end isn’t near.

It’s a public version of the self-fulfilling prophecy made obvious by women complaining about men who respond by doing what women claim about them. We all become what others think of us, plus what we think of ourselves after mixing the two in our individual minds. That combo enables each of us to fit in with everyone else.

As women go, so goes society. Society is only as female- and kid-friendly as women make it, and they have to do it indirectly, with seed-planting, suggestions, and hints aimed at the men who they depend upon to make things happen as women wish and children need. That means, if women don’t convince men to listen to their deep-rooted concerns, men do whatever they want and to hell with whatever price women have to pay. We seem to be at that point in today’s society.

Shermy, in the final analysis, women are in charge of core competencies. Not individually in today’s marketplace except as they go ultra-feminine in order to be uniquely attractive to men. When women return to using femininity, earning mutual respect, and working together for the good of the family as the basic social institution, you will see core masculine competencies come into alignment and agreeable with the taste of women and care of their children. Greater respect for each other’s gender will follow, but women have to start the ball rolling.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, how she win, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

15 responses to “2404. Core Competencies: I—Masculine and Feminine

  1. Miss Gina

    Beautifully discerned and explained, Sir Guy. 😀

    Your Highness Miss Gina,
    Thank Shermy for inspiring it.

  2. Shermy

    Sir Guy,

    I very much appreciate you expounding on this subject so expertly. What you’ve outlined here makes a ton of sense and as I’ve “upgraded” my femininity I see evidence of what you describe as men coming into alignment with how you present yourself. I’ve even seen this work with more “unsavory” fellows who can’t help but straighten up and at least pretend to behave more appropriately when in the presence of sweet femininity. And in observing myself, I can’t help but be even MORE feminine around a man who is comfortable in his masculinity regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. It seems to come down to a confidence issue as well right? Confident femininity and confident masculinity complement each other well. Both are uplifted and not denigrated. I think that’s the balance we’re all seeking right?

    Your Highness Shermy,
    Yes, I confirm each of your last three sentences about self-confidence of one’s role as male or female. To go macro on you, women’s greatest fault is lack of self-gratitude as females and men’s lack of self-respect because of lack of respect by females.

  3. This was well said.

    I have found that it’s a bit like self fulfilling prophecy. Women have great power over what we create, over how we bring out the best in men. So first we have to respect men, first we have to assume they know what they are doing, then we have to allow them the space to rise to the occasion. Of course they don’t know what they are doing, of course they have not “earned” respect, but you pour it over them anyway. Women can be so strong, so independent, that we sometimes leave men floundering around, uncertain where they fit.

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    After reading many of your articles, I take “This was well said.” as a significant compliment. Thanks.

  4. Kristiane

    Gentleman Guy,
    Thank you for another post illuminating female and male interactions. I am finally getting why I’m not attracting a Mr. Good Enough. I need to dress in a more feminine manner in my daily life in addition to working on my behavior. When I go out I am usually running errands, and I figure I will stick with comfortable clothing. This reminds me of how my Grandmother always dressed nicely when going out no matter where we went. As I continue on my journey to femininity, I see the great wisdom that past generations held. If only the future generations would listen, and preserve this knowledge for the benefit of everyone. I am grateful that I have access to this source.
    Have a lovely weekend.
    Lady in Training

    Your Highness Kristiane,
    I have to find a way to use your “journey to femininity.” Thanks.

  5. KitKat

    If a man hits a woman in the head with a shovel, what angle do you come up with to blame the women, I know that you would blame her, I just wonder how you would vindicate putting the blame on the woman.

    Your Highness KitKat,

    I presume you’re thinking about the civilized world and not the shovel wielder being part of an invading force of enemy territory. Or, perhaps it’s a rapist surprising her and he used a shovel to break into her home.

    Under either condition, blaming such a victim does not compute. For example, have you read anything on this blog even suggesting that rape victims are to blame? However, a woman not trusting her heart for guidance invites being victimized.

    Each woman is born with the talent, skill, patience, and other relationship expertise to avoid such situations. If one finds herself in a victimizing position, more than likely she has forgotten or ignored how her heart hints and often urges her to get out before such situations ever develop. Women should expect surprises when they don’t follow their instinct and heed their intuition.

    OTOH, women who are surprised often blame themselves for not listening when their hearts warned them. Much like men who can’t live with guilt, women can’t live with self-blame for very long, so they convert it to guilt with which they seem able to live eternally.


    • Miss Gina

      Those ladies who read this blog with an open mind soon discover great realms of power which they were never aware they had. Here’s hoping we can all come into the fullness of that understanding, for it is tremendously freeing to know that we are not stuck with what we think we see in life.

    • Magnolia

      Lol! I must say that the example that you gave is comical. But that is not what Sir Guy is doing at all. He doesn’t blame women. He uplifts women. All the time, actually. He has made us realize that we have the power to pretty much make our destiny. And I for one, am eternally grateful for him and this gem of a blog.

  6. KitKat

    Obviously I do not think Sir Guy is advocating hitting woman in the head with a shovel.

    • Magnolia

      I know. You said that he blames women for everything, but he most definitely does not. He says that we are very influential with men. It’s true! I once heard a funny story about a man who told his employee (female) that when he dies he wants to come back in another life as a woman because we don’t know the power that we have if we only asked nicely. Hahaha!!! It’s so true! Have you ever tried it? And it’s loads of fun, too! We as women have an immense amount of power with men. We just need to use the flank approach. Indirectness always wins with men. It takes more patience, though. But it works and then they want to give us the moon!! Ahhh, the joys of being a woman!

  7. Magnolia

    Women have used the subtle art of indirectness since time immemorial. It’s how they got what they wanted. Then men stole it from us and now beat women at their own game. What a shame that is!

    Kit Kat, no matter how frustrated you get, biology trumps ideology and you will never be able to twist a man’s arm into giving you what you want. You can not demand anything from a man and expect that he will give it to you. It’s an exercise of futility. I don’t fight biology, I just go with it.

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