At post 2403 Her Highness Shermy made these excellent points:
“I feel like a lot of this advice regarding blame is predicated on men who are actually competent. It seems to me…men in general…lack BASIC competency…. [T]he kind of core competencies of masculinity that attract natural complementary femininity, how can you expect women to respect them?”
Masculine core competencies vary in response to feminine core competencies. Women naturally use their relationship expertise more assertively and reliably while living in liberty and being equally free to relate as they wish. Women lead and men follow in the process of gender interaction It’s just as God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize us.
In the world of inter-gender relationships, women act and men react. It isn’t very easily observed. The surface effects are too obvious. The hidden effects on one’s emotions are affected by every encounter with another person, and it governs future events.
As a couple and on the surface, women act cooperatively indirect and enable themselves to make relationships successful. Men act competitively direct and enable themselves to accomplish things (e.g., build wealth for women and children) and promote the relationships necessary to make things work out successfully for their individual goals. Both sexes seek to get their way. She primarily wants a relationship; he primarily wants sex with a reliable mate. (The mature man has too much to accomplish to waste time chasing sex or dealing with an unreliable woman.)
In the workplace, yes, men lead. It also appears that men are the leaders in the culture, but they’re not when men respect individuals and like women as a gender. Men are born with the natural desire to please women they respect and like. Not totally but mostly because women have control over the availability of convenient and frequent sex. Pleasing a woman is an example of men acting less than direct.
Men are the leaders at the surface, but it’s the female pressures in background to which men respond. If a man likes a female’s pressure, he respects her and indirectly accepts and tends to follow her lead. If he dislikes her pressure, he directly rejects and shoots off in another direction, usually with disrespect showing. It results in this: When women have the respect of men or a man and play their cards respectfully, men indirectly accept and follow their wishes.
Women respond to how men act. The accumulation reflects how women think as a gender, and it becomes the source of what guides everyone in society. IOW men determine what to do and women determine how they wish men would do it. However, men in particular can’t long tolerate being told HOW to fulfill their responsibility—worst kind of leadership—and so women know instinctively and learn intuitively to hint and men conclude HOW to do what women wish they would do. Men act, and women adjust and upgrade their values and standards to a higher level. (At least that’s how it worked before Feminism destroyed the model our foremothers worked out so well.)
Nowadays, unfortunately, women are divided into political groups—e.g., age, education, feminists, lesbians, wives, wedded moms, bachelorettes, raunchy singles, porn gals, single moms, teen spenders, thirtysomething grandmothers. Wives demean husbands and vice versa. Women can’t agree and unify on common ground. People agree on so little that men have no ‘guidebook’ of feminine values, standards, and expectations to guide them toward settling down reasonably risk-free with one woman.
It’s a political consequence. No longer do most men want wife and family. Womanhood is divided with too many angles and goals that discourage marriage. Singles don’t know how to lure and capture a man. Wives know too little about keeping a husband. People no longer appreciate how wives fill and steady the home, society, and culture with the kind of femininity that adds color to a man’s B&W life. And so, men have little or no interest in pleasing women except for sex.
In background, men follow the female lead. They have become exactly what women have been describing and calling them for decades, and it continues to worsen. The root is Feminism, the glue is everyone seeking and expecting more respect and recognition, and the end isn’t near.
It’s a public version of the self-fulfilling prophecy made obvious by women complaining about men who respond by doing what women claim about them. We all become what others think of us, plus what we think of ourselves after mixing the two in our individual minds. That combo enables each of us to fit in with everyone else.
As women go, so goes society. Society is only as female- and kid-friendly as women make it, and they have to do it indirectly, with seed-planting, suggestions, and hints aimed at the men who they depend upon to make things happen as women wish and children need. That means, if women don’t convince men to listen to their deep-rooted concerns, men do whatever they want and to hell with whatever price women have to pay. We seem to be at that point in today’s society.
Shermy, in the final analysis, women are in charge of core competencies. Not individually in today’s marketplace except as they go ultra-feminine in order to be uniquely attractive to men. When women return to using femininity, earning mutual respect, and working together for the good of the family as the basic social institution, you will see core masculine competencies come into alignment and agreeable with the taste of women and care of their children. Greater respect for each other’s gender will follow, but women have to start the ball rolling.