Women don’t always want to know what they should know about men. Before we start, you’re right. It isn’t fair, but life is described here. It’s another view of how men are born to regard women in their lives.
Women come in three versions and very differently defined by each man: attractive enough to keep nearby temporarily or permanently, attractive enough to take to bed, and none of the above. From his inborn nature and lessons learned in life, each man makes his own evaluations and determines how each female fits into his life.
Love works differently for the sexes. Females need it, and they love in a hope-filled relationship. It’s planned to be endless, but often something major happens with which they can’t live.
Self-love and being aware that she’s pretty are inborn traits. Some girls are unwittingly raised, however, to feel otherwise or opposite about themselves. They are the most vulnerable to self-victimize in that which follows.
Men appreciate being loved but are far pickier than women about loving someone. A man’s love is based on respect of a woman, how attractively well she pleases what he sees, how likeable she is to be with, how likeable he is to her, and how loyal she is to him. It’s a continuing relationship in which living together is expected to make both more likeable and loyal to the other.
Some wives purposely or ignorantly disregard that part of the female nature that motivates them to live a good life with a good man, in which case they become less likeable to their man. Husband is left to adjust to her changes, but his natural motivation resists change to please anyone but himself. Or, unable to like how she changes, he adjusts to living a separate life under the same roof with her or seeks another woman and another roof. (Men absolutely need only a place to flop, eat, throw their things, and have them readily available next day. Almost any woman can accommodate a man she loves in exchange for his presence in her life.)
Women tend to feel free to let themselves go after capturing the man they love. They find their niche in life, and it enables them to relax and back off from searching. Unfortunately for many, it includes the feminist-inspired envy of doing whatever her man does. She tries to duplicate the extra relaxations in life that the male gender seems to have, such as responsible mostly for self, relaxed living, sloppy appearance, and especially overeating to a heavier body.
No husband would consciously grant those privileges, but women don’t let that stop them. They strive for equal outcomes and take advantage of what appears to be husband’s dutiful acquiescence. Unfortunately, such women miss what’s happening in their man’s heart.
Most husbands don’t consider an overweight wife as disqualifying herself. They learn to adjust and live with their woman’s presumption of a ‘right’ to match his tendency to overeat, but the story doesn’t end there.
If his wife remains the same as the woman he married, he’s satisfied with his accomplishment and his sense of significance goes untarnished, which continually adds to her likeability. To the extent his wife changes and downgrades below his present-day expectations, his satisfaction with past accomplishments slides downward and adversely impacts his sense of significance.
(You may recall from earlier posts, a man’s greatest fear is insignificance, and especially when his mate causes or suggests it. A woman’s greatest fear is abandonment. Yet, the fatter she gets, the more he withdraws from her and the closer she gets to being left alone. His love may moderate his decisions. However, contrary to the female motto that love conquers all, it doesn’t ALWAYS conquer a wife’s turning herself to gluttony or slow expansion with fat.)
It can be but isn’t necessarily a wife’s fattened body per se, but the impact it has on her likeability. How much does continuing likeability depend on husband’s eyes? Many marriages survive the wife’s expanding girth, but how does it impact other factors in his view of her likeability? Does his affection drop off? Fewer gifts? Less devotion? Less respect? Less loyalty? Less attention to her? Less regard for her opinions and interests? Less grateful for her influence in public, among friends and family? Less appreciation of her importance to him? More sourness in his moods? More withdrawal from her influence? More time away from the home and more interests outside? Hints of infidelity? Does she get pushed onto the back burner of his life?
Women have mistakenly convinced themselves that sexy is more important than attractiveness in the eyes of men. Reality: Since they act it, women must think excess fat doesn’t interfere with sex appeal. Husbands still want sex, so a fat wife can perhaps service him sexually, but can she hold his devotion with a body turned less appealing?
Overweight single women can capture some man’s attention, but can they hold it after yielding for conquest? Does she lack his respect in the morning? Does he call as he promised?
It’s an epidemic. Girls duplicate their moms and later copy peers by overeating as matter of habit. They either ignore, learn as adults, or never learn that excess fat interferes tremendously with the masculine definition of eye candy, female beauty. If fat interferes with beauty, it must interfere with attractiveness, and that interferes with manly desire for sex.
Several generations of women are not aware of how they’re discriminated against for the long term just because of unattractive fat. Reality: Men spend more time imagining than viewing her vagina, thinking what he can or will do to it. Men use it frequently and conveniently and eventually he becomes aware that more fat than he married interferes with his access either physically, mentally, or both.
Except incidentally and imaginatively, her vagina has almost nothing to do with what men marry for permanence. Each man’s eyes determine beauty, and it’s beauty that starts him to hope, find, court, and win his idea of an attractive woman as permanent mate.
Ladies, keep the body shape you had at the altar; that’s the one he married and expects never to change. Men don’t pay attention to wrinkles, neither theirs nor yours. Don’t think that wrinkles hidden by fat is good, or that weight loss means wrinkles that disfigure you. Each man pays attention to his own version of a sexually attractive body. One distorted by fat disturbs his viewing whereas wrinkles can fit in okay with manly acceptance of aging.
Moreover, men see an ever-fattening female body as reflecting poor strength of character to maintain her likeability and thus preserve her loyalty to him. He can’t be very likeable to her, if she’s so inconsiderate as to distort his viewing and make unsatisfactory his vision of who she is to him. Her worth grows the more he just enjoys looking at her. It’s the magnet that keeps her as his greatest interest.