Although well hidden behind our personalities and the time and inclination it takes to change ourselves, we tend to become what we’re praised or appreciated for and avoid that for which we are unappreciated or expect criticism. The degree to which we heed and respond, however, is a function of feminine love and masculine respect we hold for others and they hold for us.
When someone we disrespect expects something from us, we tend to produce the opposite they seek or want. Spitefulness seems to hide itself somewhere in our psyche to be pulled out when others expect what we’re unwilling to accept.
Even simple respect is missing. How much upbeat appreciation and praise do you hear flowing between men and women these days, except in the pursuit of sex or related subjects? Lack of respect prevails in society and the home. It becomes and is fed by the phenomenon of the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Normally in the U.S., women shape the culture and men accept the lines that women draw, specifically female values and standards that accept the male nature as well respected. Men see it as okay and proper. Nowadays, it’s so contrary, opposite, and negative to what men expect that they neither accept nor appreciate female expectations. Men jump on the cheap-and-easy-sex bandwagon and let it substitute for love, home, and family.
Against their better interest, women react to how men act instead of the reverse. Women thereby enable men to dominate cultural values (sex without love) and set standards (“Give me a b.j. or get lost, babe.”). Consequently, men are discouraged with themselves and women. They hide it behind a macho or Manospherian image and women moan about their inability to capture and hold a man—much less the man of their dreams.
So, errors compound as frustrated women send more criticizing messages such as these examples:
- Men are no damn good but they’re okay for sex.
- Men are after only one thing, and women shouldn’t have to put up with it.
- Men are not responsible; they can throw away both wife and kids for a trophy.
- Whatever problems women have, men caused them.
The evidence thrown up in the faces of men is that they are not good enough. Consequently, they specialize in fun and games on their own. Women respond by providing sex in order to have a boyfriend or associate with men. Men try to model their lives after some kind of sporting-blood lifestyle that parlays female weakness into sex. Women worship celebrities they credit with lifestyles idealized but unattainable to the less talented worshipers.
Women are capable and often marry guys they don’t respect, then blame husbands for lack of character, sense of responsibility, or tendency to physical aggression. She makes the choice, condemns, and blames him. Technically, he’s at fault, but the ‘crime’ was her screening him inadequately. By lowering female standards and expectations for herself, she promoted more of the same for female sisters to follow.
The absence of self-respect in men tends to reduce the respect they can have for others, particularly women in our case here. The absence of self-love in women tends to reduce the love they can show for men. Less respect by men means less manly love and more relationships that don’t last. Less love by women means they are more prone to blame men, and thereby shorten relationships. Consequently, in society today, relationships tremble constantly in a state of expectant breakup from inadequate respect of women and insufficient love of men.
The cause? Boys are discouraged or not allowed to elevate their own self-respect with accomplishments that satisfy their sense of duty and responsibility. So, they have less respect to show others, which self-fulfills into even less respect. Girls are discouraged or not allowed to elevate their self-love into love of others, and so they have less to give, which self-fulfills into even less loving and giving. When they become adults, the natural self-centeredness of both sexes becomes crippled into narcissism or selfishness.
Thus the prophecies fulfill. Women do not earn masculine respect and so they’re loved less. Responding, they don’t act respectfully of men. Loved less than expected, men act as if they’re disrespected out of which masculine love for a woman does not emerge.
Routinely, compatibility hits the rocks much like ships go aground. Relationships break up in the turbulent surf of non-appreciation of men for women and blame of men by women.