It’s the queerest match up in all of human interaction, and it works because of extreme dislike or even hatred of natural traits. However, it boils down to keeping both sexes on track to procreate and preserve the species. We all seem designed that way.
Trying ever harder to win their way with each other, men and women are naturally motivated to unconsciously and serendipitously turn dislike of naturally inspired traits into mutual love. It’s a process that flows out of self-interest to exploit compatibility and harmonize with a good mate.
Men hate female resistance to conquest; women hate the conquering nature of men as it naturally makes them highly susceptible to cheat.
Women think love will conquer all, and so they promote their love eagerly and graciously. A man’s love, however, develops best with the high level of respect earned by her resistance to his conquering urge.
Men stand in the way, but women are in charge. She naturally resists what she hates most about the opposite sex, his insistence on conquest when she instinctively knows it urges him to cheat. He pursues all the more diligently what he dislikes most about a woman, to overcome her impenetrable resistance. Her love doesn’t stand in his way of trying harder, so loving him protects her ineffectively.
Only free will and will power work and they are magnificent weapons with which she is born, but they have to overpower her loving instincts. She has to forego her instinct to totally express her love in favor of resisting being loved sexually—if she hopes to conquer him for marriage before yielding, that is.
Neither wants to give without victory, and delay is best for procreation and continuance of the species. When she wins marriage before sex, he’s effectively a captive for providing and protecting her and children. When he wins sex without lifetime obligation, he avoids investing himself enough that he feels responsible to provide and protect.
Resistance earns respect and Nature works this way: The longer she resists yielding, the more respect she earns from a man. The more he tries and fails, the more admirable and thus virtuous she becomes. It’s proportional too. Her resistance generates his respect, which opens the door for his love to develop.
Frustrated by failure for first sex together, his never ending quest reveals her virtues. Endless investing of himself programs his heart with her worth uplifted by and for him, which eventually makes capturing her more important than sex. That is, conquest takes the hind seat when he accepts her to be promising as his wife with the added benefit of frequent and convenient sex.
Consequently, love of a woman is based on respect earned precisely because she protects her most valuable asset. (Protection is exactly what he would do if he were so endowed, and that natural conviction makes her worthy of his respect. Her resistance is admirable, makes her more worthy of his respect, and compounds into greater respect as she artfully dodges, outsmarts, outwits, and often has to outmaneuver his masculine temperament and determination to conquer.)
Here’s the key to a woman’s success. He has a virtually unstoppable sex drive. The hopeful wife has to thwart his sexual intentions and make him accept it. She has to avoid falling prey to it for many months. As his admiration and respect grow, his love forms, and he passes through the process of conditioning his heart and mind to accept marriage as his ultimate target and victory for her.