As Her Highness Tiffani reports it at 2430, modern women have twisted fact into fancy. They’ve lost any sane understanding of the consequences of a man’s conquest and romantic love.
Tiffani says, “My query is along the lines of romantic attraction and physical attraction fading once conquered. Does this apply to both genders?” No, not naturally. Women bond during sex but men don’t. Conquest frees a man to conquer elsewhere. Women lack that sex drive, except when they stupidly—if they want a good husband—fake it by acting like men to fit into the male-dominant pop culture.
Also, “This is pretty sobering, you know that modern society promotes that honeymoon phase of physical attraction/ romantic infatuation as THE ultimate reason to marry, the ultimate reason to pursue someone, and lack thereof as the reason to cheat, divorce, and not even consider someone for a connection.” If accurate, women are dumber dealing with men than I ever imagined.
Perhaps I can cast a more accurate light on conquest and its inevitable results. I shall describe it in steps that lead to conquest of her for sex or conquest of him for marriage. (This series elaborates on what follows below: Marriage Can Last.)
Single women face the following. Expect it to be an accurate model of manly behavior 80 percent of the time, which should enable them to more easily deal with men and avoid breakups that so easily devastate the female spirit.
- Men have two distinctly different sex drives. One for unconquered women, which prompts them to change to please a worthy woman in order to conquer. His changes generate greater interest and his actions to please her can rise to devotion. So, competitive spirit and denial works directly in her favor by eliciting female-friendly changes in a man. A man’s other sex drive is for conquered women, which doesn’t motivate men to be willing to change to please a woman. Thus, males are born distinctly different from females.
- A man sees an attractive woman and determines to have her for sex. Presuming he’s good enough for her, she hopes to conquer him for marriage. They begin a relationship.
- Somewhere along the line infatuation and lust dovetail into romantic love that becomes enhanced by more time together. It easily happens that way for a woman, but not so surely for a man. Depending on the low worth he detects in her for his life, he can disguise himself behind a façade that enhances his primal urge to conquer, which encourages him to move on to the next target.
- The more he tries and she refuses, the more his sex drive to conquer urges him to look for weakness to bed her. He remains motivated to keep looking until he gets her there—be that before or after marriage—or else he determines she’s not worth his fruitless attempts and heads for the exit.
The most sensitive aspects of her relationship expertise are required to anticipate and head off his desire to exit. Unfortunately, women see yielding as the way to avoid his departure, but it usually only prolongs the inevitable—he departs after conquest, because his initial decision was that she’s not worthy enough for him.
- Along their infatuated or romantic way, he determines her worth to him to be a keeper (worthy of him), booty (not worthy but okay), or disposable (not worthy). Of course it’s never disclosed truthfully to her; she finds out, however, if she yields before marriage. Millions or more women have figured they were keepers only to find out they weren’t worthy enough.
Which begs the question: How does she ensure that she’s worthy? Answer: The only way, she conquers him for marriage before he conquers her for sex.
- In between exploiting weaknesses that don’t make her yield, he uncovers and discovers—somewhat to his amazement that a woman could be so blessed—that she has qualities that he admires. Each admired quality becomes a virtue in his eyes. The longer he searches and fruitlessly exploits her weaknesses, the more virtues he uncovers; men want to marry a virtuous woman.
(It’s a satisfying thought and contribution to his sense of significance if he catches a good woman by outdoing his male competitors. He can admire himself with her on his arm. Next to their urge to conquer, men are motivated by need for self-admiration, satisfaction with their efforts, and significance that arises out of satisfactions that elicit pride.)
- The longer she refuses to yield, the more virtuous she grows, and the more deeply she can wrap him in her web of feminine charm. Until almost without notice, she becomes fascinating to him, he desires to be with her much of the time, and his actions to please her start the buildup of his devotion.
- As her fascination and his devotion grow, he sees that she holds promise for improving his present life. She can’t convince him of her promise with words; he has to conclude it by evaluating their actions together and imagining his plans after they bond legally. Unless he anticipates some change in his life, he doesn’t plan much about their future together. It’s her department.
- Throughout their relationship with her legs crossed, his respect for her grows. Men, being competitive by nature, appreciate and come to respect someone who successfully protects their greatest asset. Men do that routinely, and so it’s easy to respect it in women with their magnificent asset. (Yes, that’s the natural source of a man’s respect; that earned otherwise is a less stable kind.)
- Cradled within the foundation of respect of her, a man’s love can develop. Much different from female love, it develops slowly as infatuation and romantic love fade during the first couple of years. Romantic love developed previously as infatuation and lust morphed into greater respect for her and his ability to accept her as a prospect to be his woman.
(An exception exists. Men can fall in love at first sight. It’s characterized by his apparent devotion to her and only her from day one, as if he’s capable of worshiping her and it may well end up that way.)
- One of man’s greatest fears, a stab in the heart of his significance, is to be dumped by his woman. Consequently, his love is complex and slow to develop. His best preventive to being dumped is to see the following conditions before he commits to himself that he’s in love. She’s a likeable mate and he’s loyal to her; he’s a likeable mate and she’s loyal to him.
Of course women want to hear three little words, and men usually respond to please their woman; it’s a cheap way to calm her and her fears. But his words are not nearly as solid as his actions, which is why women hear I love you followed soon thereafter with a goodbye.
- It all ends here: She conquers him for marriage without yielding, and his hopefully ever growing respect of her floods their relationship with a permanence of love not available in other ways, except perhaps if he fell in love at first sight. Or, he conquers her without marriage, his respect for chastity stops growing and she drops into one of these barrels: Keeper, even though his respect never had sufficient time to fully develop. Booty, where his appreciation of her is worth his sexual attention when convenient. Or, disposable, where she’s left with puzzlement and grief that she could be so unexpectedly left behind.
Women are born to dream of love and marriage and long for the family that enables them to make themselves important to others. Knowing more and dealing better with the male sex drive to conquer is the best place to start.