Modern society works different than expected and directly against women. It produces certain motivations on all men and intolerable effects on some.
Old school. Most women seek marriage before sex. When a woman denies sex to the man, he doesn’t take rejection personally. He blames the rejectionist for moral, religious, or female hang-ups, and it assuages his ego. His self-esteem and self-image may take hits, but he recovers easily. He understands that each woman is in charge of sexual mores and her own assets, and his self-interest keeps him in pursuit until discouraged or he conquers her. Sex targets are normal and men pursue without taking rejection so personal they want to punish the unyielding.
New school. When most females provide free, open, and even casual sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. A man knows she’s doing it with other guys but not him. Why just him? His self-esteem bottoms out. His self-image as a ‘good man’ with a woman dwindles. His ego takes a humongous hit after his imagination ruminates over each gal’s put-down. His self-interest shifts toward inflicting revenge.
Some males cannot recover from one and much less repeated refusals. Repeated rejections can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists.
It’s easy to blame men; they are supposed to be civilized and women have no influence over them acting otherwise. It’s because women don’t know jack about Jack or enough about Jill.
Men are programmed at birth to accomplish things, and first time sex with attractive women ranks high among their ambitions. It’s their first call to order on this planet. Their prime motivation of self-admiration aims them at accomplishments, and attractive women are everywhere. Ambitions aim them at the possible. Conquests produce personal satisfaction, which is the equivalent of female happiness. The accumulation of satisfactions delivers a sense of significance, aka their ego, which women love to cite as basis for blame.
As with women, frustration over something vital can induce unusual and even strange behavior. In older times, requests for sex followed a lengthy date/courtship, a road that men had to pave even before they asked. Modern women have so few and low hurdles that men expect a quick dash to the bed. Hurdles knock down easily and road doesn’t need paving. Just gravel to fill mud holes caused by inconvenience.
I claim old school culture was superior to fulfill women’s ambitions for a lifelong marriage and family. But that’s not the purpose here.
Men possess two very different sex drives as described in 2423. The primary drive aims to conquer attractive females and move on to the next. The old school culture harnessed and tamed that drive to give women a better chance at marriage and family; men had to obligate themselves to achieve sexual conquest.
New school culture removes restrictions and men are free to elevate their most primitive but most urgent sex drive to hit and run. They don’t obligate themselves because women don’t require it. Marriage is both tougher to achieve and rougher to keep. Women like to blame men, but men are having none of it and their desire to marry grows weaker each year. As women go so goes society.