2465. Follow Up on Satisfying a Husband

Post 2456 described two ingredients that wives provide that surpass all else to fulfill a husband’s wish for marriage. He’s happy as women call it, but men don’t do ‘happy’. A man’s equivalent of happy is satisfaction; in this case that he’s comfortably situated in marriage.

Things go smoothly when wife smiles regularly in his presence and she doesn’t complain to him. Her smiles reassure him and lack of complaints confirm that he needn’t worry, all goes well. He must not be guilty of anything, so he’s not done wrong or disappointed her. It’s what he expects from having been so particular in selecting the right woman to marry. Her smiling and agreeable countenance confirms his astute judgment and satisfaction.

She has to, of course, first want to do all that; it’s nearly impossible but she’s highly skilled. Not as simple as I describe it, but two guiding lights help wife satisfy husband. It puts her directly in control of how well and comfortably he fits the saddle on their marital horse. Keep him happily mounted on his charger, and it frees her up to make their marriage successful and future brighter.

But he has another saddle, and the same ingredients add some more satisfaction. The identity of many if not most men includes their primary vehicle. Part of his reputation among men is wrapped up in it. It’s part of who he is among competitors, his significance, even if he can’t afford what he dreams of but lives with second best. And it’s especially more true of functional vehicles such as the truck he uses for his business.

His vehicle will provide the equivalent of smiles if he has what he admires. Also, he should hear no complaints from it. Squeaks, rattles, broken parts, and features that don’t function are complaints so he tends to spend freely on it. The more admiring care he puts into maintaining its beauty and operability and preventing complaints, the more valuable and smilingly it calls to him for another ride and adds to his sense of satisfaction with himself.

Any lessening of husband’s desire to drive his dream machine in favor of helping their relationship survive is a sign that wife caught a good one, if she can keep him. (It’s mighty easy for wife to overdo it, to expect hubby to give up too much for her in order to prove her importance or his love.)


Filed under Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

7 responses to “2465. Follow Up on Satisfying a Husband

  1. Aidos

    Sir Guy,

    What does it mean when a man doesn’t treat his car as a special thing?

    He keeps it running, but inside, it’s a mess with piles of random trash.


    Your Highness Aidos,

    Probably one of these options or somewhere in between:

    He is engrossed with some other aspect of his life, such as deep research, writing a book or other intellectual activity that his car has little value except to facilitate his primary interest. His intensity with his hottest interest suppresses regard if not respect for other things in his life.

    He lacks pride, both personal and of ownership. His self-image, his picture of himself and how well he likes what he sees, is a poor one. If he’d trash his car inside, he’d likely trash other valuable and functional things in his life. It’s a good indication that he’s unsatisfied and perhaps dissatisfied with his life—at least the inanimate side of it. Drugs do that to people.


  2. Femme

    Thanks for asking this question; I was just about to do it. 🙂

  3. I’D say the way a man treats a car (that is not used for some kind of hard labor) is a clear indicator that he’s a lazy SOB with no motivation and no self respect.

    • Cinnamon

      There are always outliers. I knew a couple of academics (PhDs in English Literature [specialty: James Joyce] and Physics, respectively) who simply did not care about material things such as cars and clothes. In both cases their cars were old and looked like a bombsite. They were by no means lazy. They just preferred in their free time to read and spend time with their family and pets rather than groom a motor vehicle. In this age of rampant consumerism I found this odd but quite charming.

      • My boyfriend in college had a little car with a hole in the floor that allowed me to watch the roadway whiz by as we traveled around. He had a bike he took much better care of. He was an art student and focused on his projects, hanging out with me, and hanging out with his friends. ( We broke up when he said we should live together, and I said no.)

      • Meow Meow

        Yes, the absent minded professor/artist/environmentalist can indeed be charming! As long as there is something that they take good care of….pet, family, maybe a camera or musical instrument…

  4. Femme

    Hmmm. My ex husband’s van looks mostly like a dump.
    He does use it for work though.
    I wonder what Sir Guy will say as well.

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