I open this post with a paradox. Because love is so vital to the female psyche, they think it equally important to men. Not so. A woman’s admiration is far more influential than her love, when it comes to focusing a man’s attention on a woman. In fact, repeatedly expressing her infinite love makes a man suspicious; what’s she really after?
- A married man expects frequent and convenient access to sex. The feminine-oriented wife knows it’s a requirement that she accepts as her obligation to turn it into satisfaction for him and contentment for her. (Unless truly devoted to her, she has to gently induce him to want to become a better lover. He instinctively knows how to fornicate and so he’s convinced by his nature that he’s a great lover.)
- The feminine wife rewards her man for husbanding and fathering and works to inspire him to grow his sense of responsibility in ways that satisfy him and add to his significance. She does it as compensation for giving up his independence, or he will want it back.
- The male nature expects to be respected by females. The feminine woman looks for strengths and qualities to respect individuals, and admiration is more effective than love.
- She develops the feminine belief or understands that she has to earn the respect of a man to gain his love. To keep him, she must respect him as a person, a man, and for his roles in life; it’s the basis to keep husband’s focus on her as he also looks for her dependence on and gratitude for him.
- The feminine wife listens to sister wives and what they eventually learn. That is, husband is most satisfied when she smiles all the time in his presence and does not complain. And so smarter wives start early in marriage to live with the mission to do exactly that. She has to learn to forgive herself for departures, mistakes, and inconsistencies, and tries ever harder to stick to that mission. Success enables hubby to see only sparkling behavior for which he assumes credit for having chosen so astutely.
- The feminine wife does not try to change husband’s natural male dominance but gently sets it aside and out of her way with female intelligence, patience, and dedication to keep her man.
- The feminine woman knows that criticizing other men indirectly influences hubby against her, if he responds in their defense. (It opens the door to competing, which wife should avoid.)
- Feminine women may not know the name Pygmalion Effect, but they understand and take advantage of this principle. People become like those with whom they associate and live up to the expectations of others. Moreover, they tend to become what they are repeatedly accused of, are called, or identified as action figures.
- The feminine woman understands that what people proclaim of themselves becomes factual or more real. Examples: Frequently claiming “I’m tired” or “I’m broke” or “I’m working my way through college” brings on more of the same. (We get what we think about most of the time, and thinking of what we don’t want is counter-productive.)
- The feminine woman has good common sense; she trusts her instinct and intuition. She knows she’s better than men, and so she deserves the best man who proves his worth by earning her hand. Others are not good enough to be fruitful at fulfilling her interests, hopes, and dreams.
Men grow up getting used to getting their way; later in life they are willing to slack off a little, to mellow about decision-making. As men ‘downsize’ so to speak, women—also born to get their way—upgrade their ambitions. Smoothing out that mutual morphing is the long suit of the feminine wife. Her attitude stretches marital longevity by keeping her man satisfied with his mate.