2466. Journey to Feminine — Group 17


I open this post with a paradox. Because love is so vital to the female psyche, they think it equally important to men. Not so. A woman’s admiration is far more influential than her love, when it comes to focusing a man’s attention on a woman. In fact, repeatedly expressing her infinite love makes a man suspicious; what’s she really after?

  1. A married man expects frequent and convenient access to sex. The feminine-oriented wife knows it’s a requirement that she accepts as her obligation to turn it into satisfaction for him and contentment for her. (Unless truly devoted to her, she has to gently induce him to want to become a better lover. He instinctively knows how to fornicate and so he’s convinced by his nature that he’s a great lover.)
  2. The feminine wife rewards her man for husbanding and fathering and works to inspire him to grow his sense of responsibility in ways that satisfy him and add to his significance. She does it as compensation for giving up his independence, or he will want it back.
  3. The male nature expects to be respected by females. The feminine woman looks for strengths and qualities to respect individuals, and admiration is more effective than love.
  4. She develops the feminine belief or understands that she has to earn the respect of a man to gain his love. To keep him, she must respect him as a person, a man, and for his roles in life; it’s the basis to keep husband’s focus on her as he also looks for her dependence on and gratitude for him.
  5. The feminine wife listens to sister wives and what they eventually learn. That is, husband is most satisfied when she smiles all the time in his presence and does not complain. And so smarter wives start early in marriage to live with the mission to do exactly that. She has to learn to forgive herself for departures, mistakes, and inconsistencies, and tries ever harder to stick to that mission. Success enables hubby to see only sparkling behavior for which he assumes credit for having chosen so astutely.
  6. The feminine wife does not try to change husband’s natural male dominance but gently sets it aside and out of her way with female intelligence, patience, and dedication to keep her man.
  7. The feminine woman knows that criticizing other men indirectly influences hubby against her, if he responds in their defense. (It opens the door to competing, which wife should avoid.)
  8. Feminine women may not know the name Pygmalion Effect, but they understand and take advantage of this principle. People become like those with whom they associate and live up to the expectations of others. Moreover, they tend to become what they are repeatedly accused of, are called, or identified as action figures.
  9. The feminine woman understands that what people proclaim of themselves becomes factual or more real. Examples: Frequently claiming “I’m tired” or “I’m broke” or “I’m working my way through college” brings on more of the same. (We get what we think about most of the time, and thinking of what we don’t want is counter-productive.)
  10. The feminine woman has good common sense; she trusts her instinct and intuition. She knows she’s better than men, and so she deserves the best man who proves his worth by earning her hand. Others are not good enough to be fruitful at fulfilling her interests, hopes, and dreams.

Men grow up getting used to getting their way; later in life they are willing to slack off a little, to mellow about decision-making. As men ‘downsize’ so to speak, women—also born to get their way—upgrade their ambitions. Smoothing out that mutual morphing is the long suit of the feminine wife. Her attitude stretches marital longevity by keeping her man satisfied with his mate.

12 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage

12 responses to “2466. Journey to Feminine — Group 17

  1. Beloved

    “A married man expects frequent and convenient access to sex. The feminine-oriented wife knows it’s a requirement that she accepts as her obligation to turn it into satisfaction for him…” And what does she get out of that? IOW, what can she expect his response to be toward her, and his treatment of her providing he’s a reasonable person who isn’t too selfish? I once read a statement by a man that said that a man’s love for his wife grows through sex. What are your thoughts on that Guy?

    Your Highness Beloved,

    “And what does she get out of that? IOW, what can she expect his response to be toward her….”

    Good question. The answer is tough and makes men appear selfish, but it fits the inborn male nature.

    He enters the bed to find self-admiration, satisfaction with accomplishment, and confirmation of his significance as lover. More to show off than render love as she does or wants. What she gets is opportunity to demo her worth as his mate, the one person whose regard he seeks most to admire his performance. Without winning her admiration, his self-respect and self-confidence weaken momentarily and he reacts to restore it, which may mean at her expense. (Or perhaps he learns over time that she’s worth little in bed except as a useful vagina.)

    After many episodes of her disappointing responses to his performance, he may find retaliation with someone else. IOW, her ‘hooks’ in holding him depend on her ability to keep him convinced that no one else can measure up to him. (Pledges of undying love satisfy her but not him.)

    There is another side of the coin. What she gets also depends on how she conducts herself. If she upholds feminine standards and respectable expectations with self-respect and enjoyment rather than demands or complaints, she confirms his respect that underpins his love. IOW, she goes so far and no further, he respects her for it, and the foundation of his love is strengthened.

    What does she get? His gratitude that she’s his mate. By accepting her obligation to turn it into satisfaction for him, she confirms her likeability. By participating with eagerness because it’s him, she confirms her loyalty. Combined, both confirm the wisdom of his love for her.

    I disagree that a man’s love for his wife grows through sex. At least I don’t think women should expect that he loves as she does. She should work for his devotion to grow, and that happens from his actions that program his heart. If she handles events in the bed successfully, his devotion can grow from it.

    Beloved, darling, I know my response is convoluted and burdensome on women. What she gets out of it is what she earns by satisfying him more than as orgasmic ally. God designed us that way, or we would all act differently.

    Guy

    • Meow Meow

      Your Highness Meow Meow,

      Sir Guy that is interesting…a lot of men’s websites strongly say that they most “feel” love from their woman by her having sex with him! Why wouldn’t men say that? Women want to hear it and so it’s self-serving. I recall this from a former psychologist I studied: Never trust what anyone says motivates them. Doesn’t mean they lie, just don’t put all your trust in it. We all are discretionary and often are not motivated to disclose everything we are thinking at the moment.

      Which is why they are so hurt when turned down too many times…. Another good self-serving claim. Directness sells women when it’s what they want to hear.

      So is that how men best feel love FROM their partner, but show love TO their partner another way? It’s far more emotionally complex and interactive, but primary motivation works like this. Men are convinced their greatest demo of love is with intercourse. They expect their woman to follow suit but if not then so be it.

      (For example maybe tackling a project she has asked him to do)? I’m turning to the raw side of human nature as mentioned earlier. Tackling her projects is more duty because he likes her and the way she treats him, which he credits as her love. He feels good about himself helping her. Using the love word, they are two very different people. Her love provides him with satisfying treatment for who he is and what he does. His love provides her with attention when she needs it, affection when she craves it, and sex when he thinks it appropriate.

      Does this explain why women can think that having sex with a man will make him love her…but all it does for him is confirm that she loves (or at least likes) him? Women think that sex makes a man love her because it bonds her; in reality it does not bond him. So, she fools or excuses herself to get him to love her.

      Hope I’m understanding this right. You’re pretty close and delving deeper into the subject than is easy to explain.

      Guy

      • A.GuyMaligned

        Your Highness Meow Meow,
        I missed but have now responded to your comment of a couple of days ago. It’s your 2:28 comment on 5/26 at post 2466
        Guy

      • Meow Meow

        Thank you for responding! Best wishes to you on this Memorial Day.

    • Magnolia

      Sir Guy,

      I suppose this is why some men look to find someone –usually younger– during middle age (what people call mid-life crisis). My question is, do most men want it in order to add to their significance?

      Not all go after it because it would be immoral and if they are married, they might refrain, but is it a big pull for men in general? Should we expect it if we are not careful, or does it hit some men and not others?

      Your Highness Magnolia,
      Good questions well phrased. I’m responding with an article that should be posted Tuesday morning.
      Guy

      • My Husband's Wife

        Good question, Magnolia—I’m curious about this too. My husband has hit 46 and is really frustrated with his current job that pays VERY good wages so nothing else compares in leaving it. So he’s wanting something different and not succeeding in doing so—therefore, I know he’s a man at “risk” as he’s not satisfied right now. To confirm what I’ve suspected, I saw that he had clicked on a link on Craigslist for “Women seeking Men” – and clicked on: “35 year-old Woman looking for the One.”

        • Meow Meow

          Awwwwww MHW! Hugs…take care…..

          • My Husband's Wife

            Thanks for your kind thoughts, Meow Meow! With wise ladies such as you and the other readers and Sir Guy’s articles, I feel I can stay calm and create a plan to get through this whereas before I’d just be lost. My husband also has been hinting (since he can’t find a job that pays well where we want to move) that he wants ME to be the breadwinner. His logic: I have more of the skills that are needed in the area. Sometimes these “conflicts” are good—they’ve always forced me to learn and grow. This time, no different.

            Hugs back to you as well—I know you’ve been working hard too to get your home balanced and on track!

            Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
            I admire your calmness under fire. I’m trying to figure out some way to help but nothing except this summary: You want him satisfied with who he is, what he can do, who you are, and what you do for him and home, but him uncomfortable hanging out in the home. Can you help him find self-admiration job hunting for a lower paying job? At his age, he’s near the end of the job-hunting rope, but it’s too early to give up. (If I have insinuated myself where I shouldn’t, please forgive me.)
            Guy

            • My Husband's Wife

              Oh Sir Guy, yes—that sums it up perfectly! And I like what you’re advocating about looking at a lesser paying job, we can certainly afford it as we have our home + car paid off with a substantial amount saved. In fact, his main goal over the years has been to retire from his current job in 4 years at age 50, with the idea of finding that lesser paying job that would be more of a challenge/rewarding. But somehow, things at work have become more unbearable and he’s wanting to fast-track “the plan.”

              Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
              Is there some ‘unloading’ of his opinion to someone on the job that would give him some measure of satisfaction? Might lose his job prematurely, but it might also rejuvenate him. Just reaching for new ideas.
              Guy

              • Milena

                My Husband’s Wife, I just want you to know that I’ve read your comment and that my thoughts are with you. I don’t really know how to advise you, but you seem like a really wise woman so I’m sure you will handle the situation in the best way possible. I believe in that. If your husband knows what’s good for him, he won’t let you go. (Perhaps not very helpful, but I needed to say it.)

  2. Amy

    I have been surfing on-line more than 3 hours lately, but I
    never discovered any interesting article like yours.

    It’s lovely value enough for me. In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content material as you probably did, the internet might be much more useful than ever before.

    Your Highness Amy,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

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