2475. Leftover Thoughts on Marriage — 02

NOTE: Unless addressed directly in this series, presume that mutual love is present but not the only influence on what happens inside a couple’s relationship. (I’ll cover the subject of interactive love sometime later, so remind me in a couple of weeks if I haven’t. I’m contemplating a temporary relocation that will eat up much time and relax my short-term memory too much. And, anyway, I love it when pretty women remind that I dropped the ball.)

  • Women condition their Mr. Good Enough for whatever relationship they can generate with him. She does most of the planning, developing, and encouraging him to invest himself in her rather than just pursuing sex. She waits and waits—often beyond her patience—while he finds ways to convince her of his merit for husbanding and potential for fathering. (The really hard part begins after they marry and keeping husband satisfied that he did the right thing. Given the modern woman’s expectations about men, it is all too easy to do the opposite.)
  • Both sexes are born with intent to get their way. Unfortunately for marriage, women have adopted the man’s way from political pressures learned in life. Nowadays, marriage shatters on the wife’s conviction that she can’t be wrong; it’s her way or the highway. She stands mockingly for what men stand for naturally.
  • Most men are willing to marry after they work diligently and invest themselves to get the woman they want to win. If one can’t possess it, why would one want it? or so the male nature inspires men. If a woman isn’t ‘owned’ by her man, why would she want to ‘slave’ over and after him just to please herself, to prove herself important, to make her marriage work? Owned and slave are spirits easily ‘conquered’ and used to smart advantage by feminine wives.
  • How can a man walk away from a woman with whom he’s had months of romantic and sexual love? Women don’t seem aware of this trait of men. Lucrative investments appeal to them. If the risk is small, so is the likely return on investment. If there’s little risk of losing her, she’s not as worthy once she is won. Men don’t throw away big investments without good reason. So, if he earns her too easily, he can walk away just as easy. Not being hard to get, her worth never grew much in his heart and mind.

The bullets above describe what happens without reaching the conscious level, not the results that women expect. They hide and sometimes shrink beneath the cloak of romantic love, which keeps them unaware of what happens beneath the surface. They have been dumbed down to believe that men are dumb. Consequently, relationships fall apart over minor disruptions about which women have the ability to forgive even though they can’t always forget.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, feminine, marriage, sex differences

4 responses to “2475. Leftover Thoughts on Marriage — 02

  1. KitKat

    Then how do you explain someone saying he had met the girl he was going to marry the same day he met me. He told everyone that who would listen to him. This has happened more than once to me.

    Your Highness KitKat,
    The most likely answer is that guys spread the word that Miss KitKat won’t put out without marriage. And so, they all approach with the most likely promise (albeit empty) that will get her in bed. Either they win or she refuses, and so each departs and leaves the field open to their buds.

  2. Miss Gina

    Dear Sir Guy,

    Could you please help us understand better how to conquer and use to smart advantage the concepts of “owned” and ” slave”?

    Your Highness Miss Gina,

    The answer lies in the female heart. She knows first off that ‘owned’ and ‘slave’ are exaggerations, hyperbolic.

    However, women seem not to know that a man’s conquest convinces him that he owns their sexual agenda. He in effect possesses her if he wishes, because he paid her price to gain access to her most precious assets. He conquered her and conqueror’s right enable him to think so.

    Such possessive thoughts that trickle through to the female mind, however, are offensive. Moreover, they make her question the propriety of her love, which is the real threat to her.

    In effect, except as she magnifies it, his ‘ownership’ is normal but meaningless among other major factors in life such as her love and his devotion. She can easily call any bluff aimed at her and he will likely back down as ‘ownership’ is embarrassing in modern times. Or be gone, which signifies he’s not good enough for her.

    If calling his bluff works once, it can work again. That’s one way she can later create advantages for her.

    OTOH, as to ‘slave’. Heck, women claim that all the time. When not joking, it is a complaint. They throw guilt at husband with how hard they work to be a good wife, etc. Husbands enjoy jokes about preposterous ideas; they cringe from complaints as it’s their fault. It’s opportunity for wives.

    In both bluff and claim, it’s more spirit and attitude than reality. So, by using both as game to tease and laugh, she can generate a lot of advantage by smiling and not complaining. She can plant seeds, hint, and indirectly suggest that things should go more her way than his. Her patience backs up each effort.

    Example: She does a special task or favor for him; he offers no recognition. She calls him king and lets him wonder why. It becomes habit that when she calls him king, she expects something in return (always done pleasantly with never any rancor). When he inquires, she responds that slaves usually get something such as a night out as reward for special achievements. What should she dress for? (Dealing with him, always call what she does achievement or accomplishment; that’s what he deals in.)

    It fits her nature and generates advantage for her to develop a bluff-claim tactic rather than complain that ‘owns’ and ‘slave’ are offensive, which discourages her and turns him off to her objections. She’s better off to learn to use them when advantage can be pleasantly gained.


    • Miss Gina

      Thanks for your answer, Sir Guy. I like learning new strategies and tactics to make my marriage more pleasant! I like what you say about handling the “slave” idea, however, could you clarify a bit regarding calling his bluffs? Do you mean his attempts to claim ownership? How might those look if not explicit? And how would one respectfully call his bluff on such things? Respecting men seems like a minefield, even to those of us who love them.

      Your Highness Miss Gina,
      Re his bluffs, divert the subject to something less important as tho you think him not serious. Use some humor that doesn’t offend, try to make it as tho he funning you, and especially don’t laugh at him.

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