2477. Easy Sex Thwarts Earning a Man’s Respect


Her Highness Femme inquires: “Wouldn’t easy sex count as an unearned gift?” The answer is so simple it warrants this article.

Absolutely, Femme. You were never more correct.

It doesn’t always work as I describe, but the natural pressures that impact both sexes strongly push the results of easy sex in this direction.

It’s a major determinant of whether a woman can keep a man or not. First, men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Second, she won’t be appreciated although the sex may be, in which case she may become lover for awhile or booty but not much else. Third, by yielding so soon she has no opportunity or time enough to earn his respect by refusing to yield her greatest asset. A man wouldn’t think of giving up such an important asset so easily, and so he isn’t about to respect a woman for doing it. A man’s love has to have a foundation of respect or it won’t last.

Thank you, Femme, for the opportunity to summarize it so clearly.

16 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she loses

16 responses to “2477. Easy Sex Thwarts Earning a Man’s Respect

  1. Femme

    Thank you, Sir guy.
    You said:

    “A man wouldn’t think of giving up such an important asset so easily, and so he isn’t about to respect a woman for doing it”.

    Women give the most precious part of themselves to men in exchange for crumbs… And men are more than happy to take the gift and give crumbs back unless a woman knows better. But most women don’t know better.
    It looks like men know its value more than women do but if they can get away without paying the full price, they will.
    I’ve been reading up this blog for a while now but still can’t understand why women stopped appreciating their bodies so. Why do we accept crumbs?
    Why did the need for feminism arise in the 1st place and why are modern women so easily fooled?
    It may be off topic here but I spent 13 years raising my children and it was bittersweet. On one hand, it felt deeply satisfying but on the other, I felt like a nobody. A housewife in western culture doesn’t have any social status and nobody appreciates her efforts, even herself – because it doesn’t bring money in.
    My estranged husband told me I should “go to work” as if housekeeping was just a walk in he park.
    I said I didn’t want my children to be raised by a nanny. He replied a nanny would be better qualified for the job because she has undergone training.
    And the worst bit was, for many years I believed him – because it resonated with a deep seated belief I had myself.
    It took a major shakeup and a nervous breakdown for me to start reclaiming myself.
    And yes, now I’m starting to see that if women want to get back the respect we are due, we need to start with protecting our “most important asset”.
    I’ve never been more grateful for this blog. 🙂

    Your Highness Femme,

    Q. “…still can’t understand why women stopped appreciating their bodies so. Why do we accept crumbs?”

    A. It became popular as women rose up to blame men and men resented, resisted, and retaliated by disrespecting women. To have boyfriend or man, women first began and then accepted the need to take crumbs. They thought it would improve their self-importance only to end up with the opposite. Then, they easily fell for the masculine-style sexual freedom that feminists foisted on their own gender.

    Q. Why did the need for feminism arise in the 1st place and why are modern women so easily fooled?”

    A. Feminism is a political program developed by leftists to divide men and women so they could impose a new secular, free-sex culture on top of our centuries-old Judeo-Christian value system. The neo-communists now see their dream realized. We are between the rock and hard place if we hope to save America as we know it.

    Our traditional culture melts down. The international financiers worked with our leftist enemy and kept their strategies and intentions secret long enough to break down the culture. If you want a full description of how we have been hoodwinked by financiers buying our politicians and they imposing neo-communist values on America, I suggest this book. “The Creature from Jekyll Island” If you scare easy about our future, don’t bother tho.

    Guy

    • Sarina

      Another reason why feminism spreads so fast all over the world is also because women generally empathise with other women. Same happened with me, no major negative event with any man throughout my life, but constantly hearing horror stories from my female friends made me loathe men, I hated them cause of multiple accounts of abuse and huge disrespect that they were directing towards my friends.

      I haven’t stopped caring, but I realised it shouldn’t affect me to that level, they need to save themselves, I can’t keep hearing poisonous words about men constantly and not be influencedd, they wanna continue and chase abusive men, that’s their choice, I honestly don’t wanna feel responsible, each woman should make a decision.

      • Cote

        Ditto.

        I’m all for feminism if it’s about having the respect we deserve because we’re also human beings. But the other aspects of it are dark and it’s really doing us harm. Men know more than we do about the power we have as women. A bit disappointing that women nowadays don’t have enough confidence in themselves. Doing housework, raising children, etc – it’s unpaid and unrecognized, sure – but this is exactly what it takes to run the world. There is so much power (and responsibility) inherent in raising and influencing children, but women nowadays never see that.

    • Cinnamon

      Sir Guy,

      Would you please comment on the following anecdote (taken an article in last Sunday’s edition of the London Sunday Times):

      “…one friend, married to a stockbrocker, told me she would never give up work, even if it meant her life was more complicated than it needed to be. She understood that her husband, for whom money was God, would subconsciously lose respect for her if she reduced her financial worth.”

      Your Highness Cinnamon,
      First, it’s an anecdote and meaningless to anyone but participants. Second, she’s smart. Third, she choose poorly. Fourth, husband loves money and job more than her. Fifth, what was context that publisher found it newsworthy?
      Guy

  2. Milena

    I still think one should be careful using “-isms” and generalising a broad umbrella term such as feminism, a concept to which every woman adds her own understanding and meaning anyway, apart from the more “official” differences between liberal and radical feminism for example. An explanation of feminism you often hear is “the radical notion that women are human!” (an understandable sentiment, but I believe every living being, human or not, should be treated with love, respect and dignity, so this definition is less relevant to me, for example)

    I was not alive at the pre-feminist era, so obviously I can’t judge if society as a whole has progressed or regressed, but I know that the truth is never black and white. I think every era has its pros and cons, challenges and opportunities. The economic, social and political rights gained by women were without a doubt necessary. Every individual should have the autonomy to make their own choices and the opportunity to be financially independent and in control of their lives (as much as one can be in control, which is not much in the end). However, choices have consequences and to deny that is to mock women’s intelligence. (e.g. why is it so bad to advise women to dress up more modestly when they go out alone at night? It doesn’t excuse a man for harassing a woman, however she is dressed, but it does give the woman some agency over what happens to her.)

    I also believe that a victim mentality which breeds powerlessness and blind hatred is not the way forward. We are women, we are strong, and so what if some men say bad things about us? It only shows their ill-breeding and lack of character. We can investigate what they said, see if there is something constructive in it that can help us become a better person, with the humility to recognise that women can also make mistakes. If there isn’t anything constructive to be learned, we can just dismiss it and focus our attention on things better worth our while. On the whole, it’s better to not read too much of such negativity and generalisations (let alone dedicate whole websites to reporting and criticising every little thing any man anywhere has ever said about women).

    Yes, we should fight abuse and speak up against violence and oppression, but from the belief that men can be good and that they deserve our respect. And whatever gender you are, it’s always better to be informed than merely opinionated.

    Your Highness Milena,

    You’re right and it reads nicely. Grand female intentions sans political reality.

    You’ve been raised well but beguiled by your youthfulness and the political shell game leading us to a totalitarian government, of which Feminism is but a deliberately destructive, cultural revolutionary part.

    Women have said the exact same thing for the past fifty years. It placated and appeased their ill feelings as feminists demeaned, blamed, and ‘guilted’ men ostensibly about centuries of female inequalities. While preoccupied with such thoughts, females at first innocently and then deliberately took up demeaning and blaming men. In background, meanwhile, they became neutral in response to feminist propaganda that infiltrated our culture and changed the values, standards, and expectations previously—but no longer—dominated by women.

    I suggest you read my series titled “Dark Side of Feminism” listed in the CONTENT page. You will find comparisons and effects of how female behavior changed under the influence of Feminism’s cultural toxins. Moreover, the political class is not done making male-female relations even worse.

    None of the above makes you wrong, just uninformed. It’s a major problem with people your age and the preservation of Western civilization as we know it.

    Guy

    • Milena

      Thanks for the interesting reply, sir Guy. 🙂 I’m not from the US, so my knowledge about the political situation there is fairly elementary. But of course, most of the effects you talk about are recognisable everywhere in the West. I feel very conflicted about who or what to believe (call it a quarter-life existential crisis), so I am in the process of broadening my mind (which will take a while, I suspect!)
      I will definitely read your “Dark Side of Feminism” series. Thanks for all your efforts, your blog is of great help to me.

      Your Highness Milena,
      Thank you, darling.
      Guy

  3. Femme

    Hi Lady Milena,
    I hope you don’t mind me putting my two cent’s worth here .
    As I was reading your 1st post
    I suddenly remembered the time when I was pregnant with my 1st child and, being at a point in my life when I had a lot of unanswered questions, I chose to buy and read 2 books by Germaine Greer… And I was so mortified to learn so much bad stuff about guys – one of whom just got me pregnant – that I cried for almost a month on end.
    Ok, so I was away from my country and friends and family and mostly on my own all the time and it was deep and dark December to boot – but the bleak picture painted by her in those books were definitely the main reason for me feeling hopeless, helpless, and… trapped. I was married to a guy and was just about to give birth to a son. I seriously believe this kind of stuff (I mean feminist writing) can be quite damaging to some females, especially the younger generations. And it definitely can adversely affect male-female interactions, as I can attest to. It’s a miracle my son turned out quite well, after all :).

    • Milena

      I don’t mind at all. 🙂 I think your son turned out well because you were and are a great mum!
      I recognise the feeling of mortification, anger, hopelessness. I feel it whenever I read a feminist article going into detail about all the ways women are treated unfairly in the West, how marriage is a trap and only good for men, etc. It’s like drinking a glass of poison and I wonder how anything good can come out of articles like that. Yes, the idea of getting married, working full-time, doing housework and raising a family is scary to me. At the same time I see men abandoning their wives of 30 years who have stayed home or worked only part-time in order to have more time for their children and as a result have little money of their own, and it’s not a fate I would wish for myself either. Mostly I feel afraid of making the wrong choice and this petrifies me. I’ve had bad experiences with men and I notice as I grow older that I’m starting to give up on the idea of love and that all the romantic notions I had as a teenager are starting to look ridiculous and unpractical. So now I’m single and my biggest wish is to have an income of my own, a place of my own surrounded by nature and the freedom to build my own life and choose the people who are in it. But I also recognise (thanks to this blog) that I’m not feeling very important to others and that this is making me unhappy.

      Thank you for sharing your experience, Lady Femme. How and when did you come to think differently about the issues you mentioned, if you don’t mind me asking?

      Your Highness Milena,
      You struck the right chord and seem interested enough to enjoy the vibrations. It’s the cure for “But I also recognise (thanks to this blog) that I’m not feeling very important to others and that this is making me unhappy.”
      Study the 12-part series “Self-gratitude…” that begins here.
      Guy

      • Milena

        Thank you, sir Guy. I enjoy your use of metaphors and imagery 🙂

      • Femme

        Lady Milena,
        The answer to your question is not an easy one.
        I guess my thinking differently on those issues has been the result of a lifelong search for answers and a combination of reading books and talking to particular people that I have found inspiring.
        It certainly didn’t come about by following the cultural norms.
        What I understood in time (and I can’t pinpoint the exact moment) is that blaming anyone for anything does just one thing: takes the power away from the person doing the blaming and hands it over to the person (or people) being blamed.
        I think as women we are emotional creatures and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem starts when we recognise we have been treated badly (or sometimes even apallingly) and start feeling emotional but let our emotions run away with us instead of finding out what the emotions are signalling and then DOING something about the situation.
        Or even changing our attitude.
        In my case, I felt from the very beginning of my marriage that there was something seriously wrong, and blamed him. I then read those 2 books I mentioned and I had my confirmation. It was all his fault because he was male and males do bad things to females. Have done form the beginning of time.
        But the result was that I felt even worse than before and totally helpless.
        Those 2 books didn’t solve anything, actually.
        I only began to feel better years after, when I decided to make myself happy irrespective of what he (my ex husband) did or didn’t do.
        I started speaking with actions instead of words but informed him every step of the way of what I was unhappy about and what I was going to do to turn the situation around.
        He didn’t like my standing up to him (because, as Sir Guy teaches, guys don’t want their wives to change), but that was the price I had to pay.
        Now I think the choice of a partner is really important. I will never again (at least HOPE SO) ignore red flags and get into a relationship with anyone based on the hope I can change them after commitment.
        Because I think marriage CAN be a trap if you are married to a person you don’t really like or respect, or who doesn’t respect YOU. I now know love without respect is not enough.
        What I didn’t know and only found out through reading this blog is that it’s hard for a woman to earn her mate’s respect after commitment (or, as Sir Guy puts it, after contest).
        It really makes sense to me now to wait for Mr Goodenough instead of settling for somebody just because my clock is ticking. In fact, I think the ticking clock is our worst enemy.
        I had a friend at uni who did the opposite.
        As everyone else was hooking up, she was very selective about who she spent her time with. She rejected a few guys who we (her friends) thought were just perfect (meaning they were handsome or Spanish or both).
        Some people secretly thought she was crazy and even made fun of her because it looked like she was going to end up alone.
        She was very attractive physically, btw. Think Marilyn Monroe type, only less curvaceous.
        Long story short, she met a guy who was absolutely smitten with her and they got married and have been together ever since. And he actually respects her, which is plain for everyone to see. She had the patience to wait.
        I’m sorry this post turned out so long, it wasn’t my intention to write an essay. 🙂

        Your Highness Femme,

        You say, “it’s hard for a woman to earn her mate’s respect after commitment (or, as Sir Guy puts it, after contest).”

        The term isn’t contest but conquest, which means their first sex together. And, as I use it, commitment is not the same as conquest. Commitment is a verbal negotiation to be loyal to one another.

        Guy

        • Milena

          Dear Lady Femme,
          Your comment is very interesting and not at all too long for me! 🙂 Like you, I am waiting for Mr. Goodenough and since I have learned the importance of character and integrity, it’s really changing my outlook and screening process. I have not been married before, but I have been in a relationship with a man who didn’t respect me and it felt awful. He too was not happy when I made the necessary changes and couldn’t see his role in the drama. And why should he? I had complained about his behaviour often enough, but my actions had always told him that I wasn’t going anywhere and that he and his lack of integrity were good enough for me.
          I hope to do better this time and have the patience to wait and observe, like your friend, without any irrational affinities for certain nationalities which I have been guilty of as well. 😉

          Your Highness Milena,
          Great wisdom here, “without any irrational affinities for certain nationalities.” Your self-development is admirable aka a virtue from this guy.
          Guy

  4. Femme

    Sir Guy,
    I saw the typo after I pressed “post”. Of course I meant conquest. It was a Freudian mistake actually :). I know conquest is not the same as commitment.and commitment is not the same as marriage. I was trying to say there were quite a few things I wasn’t happy about before conquest, commitment and marriage, but ignored them. I started addressing them after, not before. It was based on the wrong premise.

    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Femme,
      My last email response to you is undelivered. A change in your email?
      Guy

  5. Femme

    Dear Sir Guy,
    apologies for responding so late – I have just noticed this post.
    My email address is still the same.
    Femme

    Your Highness Femme,
    I tried again but it failed with this message: 553 Invalid address syntax. Add your email address here and I will try again.
    Guy

  6. Femme

    Sir Guy,
    I’m not quite sure if I would like to leave my private address on a forum…I’m sorry for being difficult. Perhaps our respective servers became incompatible? I will try to send you a short email now to see if it works.
    F.

    Your Highness Femme,
    One more try sent in different manner. Let me know.
    Guy

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