2479. Leftover Thoughts on Marriage — 05

  • It is essential for staying with a woman as mate. His expectations are for her to respect who he is, be grateful for what he does, appreciate that he has another life known as his job, and depend on his leadership as he produces, provides, and protects that which he claims to be his. Those principles and not sex hold him with her.
  • Her first and most important challenge—one that will shape their relationship forever— is how to delay his urge to merge first time. It happens only once, because conquest tells him that he’s good enough for her. Conquered, she’s his and he owns their sexual agenda, He doesn’t have to be or do any better. He stops trying to impress her—no further need for him to grow especially just to please her—unless they have spent enough time together that his love is developing.
  • Women claim it can’t be done, but it worked as old school custom. Admittedly, it’s much easier when all women do it; men learn to expect and live with it. The importance of unmarried chastity, however, is that the longer her resistance to his insistence, the greater respect she earns from him. A man’s love comes after he has learned to respect a woman, but she has to earn it and crossed legs during courtship earn it best.
  • She earns his respect by resisting, and he simultaneously hates and admires her strength of character, which adds to her virtue and promise as virtuous woman. He earns her respect for pleasant determination; persistence is a promising quality in a potential mate for her. It gives hope to both that their relationship should continue. It keeps their roles unmixed, she’s the buyer, he’s the seller.
  • His continuing but futile attempt to conquer produces these results: 1) She earns his respect, which is essential for his love to develop. 2) He earns her respect, which his nature requires for him to respect her. 3) He is forced to invest himself in her instead of just sex. 4) She gathers sufficient evidence that he’s Mr. Good Enough. 5) Continued refusals provide time for his devotion to develop.
  • His devotion arises out of pleasing a woman so much and often that he learns he can please himself by pleasing her. IOW, his actions that develop into devotion substitute as winning her without conquest, which awards the winner’s trophy to her.

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Filed under courtship, feminine, marriage, sex differences

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