2480. Leftover Thoughts on Marriage — 06


  • Women take offense at the term ‘his woman’, but it’s part of the conqueror’s nature. He paid her price to possess her for sex. Therefore, as conqueror he owns their sexual agenda, which is the same as her. OTOH, she conquers him for marriage before yielding sex, and he has no ownership claims. She does however, and it’s reflected in his acceptance of her as highly respected and accepted more as his equal. Most likely he’s devoted. (The marital risk becomes that she may overplay her hand and drive him away, and it is much easier than conquering him.)
  • During dating and courting, his commitment to be loyal to her implies benefits she may not intend. If she expects marital obligation before sex, it makes her insistence on chasteness doubly tough to arrange. So, commitment later is preferred to early, if she can stand the anxiety.
  • After marriage, she’s wise to never mention ownership and similar terms. She may disagree with his opinion, concept, and practice. She wins when she accommodates his fancy, i.e., she doesn’t object, which helps makes her more acceptable, likeable, and desired. By her accepting his attitude that he owns her, it avoids competitive encounters and makes him much easier to live with. Perhaps unpleasant but it’s a habit that helps make her a keeper rather than dumpee. (Now, if he brags to buds that she’s his slave, it’s a different matter.)
  • Conquest changes him; it releases him to judge whether she’s a keeper, booty, or disposable based on conclusions reached before conquest. The longer a chaste courtship, the more likely she’s a keeper. Men don’t invest anything of themselves in expendable gals and very little in those that end up as booty. Only when he keeps trying and not succeeding—but is satisfied with his progress and her potential and promise—does she become a keeper in his mind.
  • It can be a monumental task. All alone, rules don’t exist except her own. She depends on her innate ability to charm a man with her attractiveness, steadfastness, and expectations. She has to turn him into a compliant suitor. One hopeful enough and willing to honor her insistence on delaying the inevitable to some undetermined date.
  • Men refuse to compete with their woman with one exception, that of wrestling mentally and physically over their first sex together. Consequently, outcompeting, outwitting, outsmarting, and outmaneuvering and yet keeping him interested enough to keep pursuing her, that is the most difficult task for the woman seeking lifetime marriage. (My series, Virtual Virginity, explains many problems and suggests solutions.)

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Filed under courtship, feminine, marriage, sex differences

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