It’s all relative. Society doesn’t stand still, and women set the standards.
Old school. Women seek marriage before sex. When a woman denies sex to the man, he doesn’t take rejection personally. He blames the rejectionist for moral, religious, or female hang-ups, which assuages his ego. His self-esteem and self-image don’t take unrecoverable hits. He understands that women are in charge of sexual assets and standards surrounding their use, if he hopes to ever succeed in his chase. His self-interest keeps him in pursuit of sex targets without a spirit of wanting to punish for rejection. He can live with her refusals and can enlarge his determination because of it.
New school. When most females provide free, open, and casual sex with little or no commitment, males take rejection personally. A boy or man knows she’s doing it with other guys but not him. Why just him? His self-esteem bottoms out. His self-image as a ‘good man’ with a woman dwindles. His ego takes a humongous hit after his imagination ruminates over her put down. His self-interest shifts toward revenge mode. The spirit of wanting to punish for rejection blossoms in his mind if not his heart.
Some males cannot recover one and much less repeated refusals. Rejections can spin boy or man toward awful revenge—think stalkers, school massacres, date rapists, serial rapists. They can’t escape blame, but the source of stimulation lies with cultural values that encourage free and easy sex.