2484. Friendly Reminders — 03


  •  Pushover hook ups deny the female his respect and the conqueror a victory. Of course she may be great in bed, but unearned gifts are almost meaningless to men. So, where does that leave ‘respect in the morning’?
  • Next man can be almost equivalent of first man in her bed. It requires that she withhold sex and not disclose her sexual history before he came along. Previous marriage being not discussable. It takes time, however, for his curiosity to fade and imagination to switch from likely suspicions to see wifely promise in her. Virtual virginity dragged out overtime can stimulate interest and stir a man to overlook her past.
  • Men more easily than women can forget their mistakes, forgive themselves, and move on. Women have difficulty forgiving themselves, and it can have paralyzing effects on their enthusiasm.
  • Men have tremendous obligations in marriage, but they mostly have to be taught what wives expect of them. Courtship and engagement provide the best time and incentives, because trying to teach husbands troubles marital waters with more than just ripples.
  • Women like surprises hidden within nice packaging and think that men do too. So, women wrap gifts and deliver in gift bags with frilly tissue. Men don’t like to be surprised or confused. Wrapping is non-functional, inefficient, and superfluous, and men dodge femmy things. The end result: Men deliver fewer gifts than women like to receive, because packaging doubles the effort, and they don’t want to be judged by female standards.
  • Women expect that the farther out of his way and convenience a man goes to gift her, the more she means to him. Men lean toward functionality and efficiency and weigh those merits more than the meaning behind gifts. If it pleases him to give it, she had better be pleased with it and use it for awhile, or his giving will soon stop.

9 Comments

Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences

9 responses to “2484. Friendly Reminders — 03

  1. Sarina

    Sir Guy, I was reading an older article where you’ve stated that interrupting a guy’s leisure time is a sign of disrespect. I had no clue about this, I feel like we women aren’t really aware of how to properly respect men. Southern charm hasn’t been passed on, grandmas aren’t listened to anymore. I was wondering if you could please give us some tips on what’s respectable behaviour to any man? I know that listening carefully and not ignoring his greetings or when he asks questions, but anything else? I wanna display more respect overall.

    Your Highness Sarina,

    Here are a few tips. Don’t read the following as imperatives but as spirits around which you negotiate and charm his disappointments and dissatisfactions into pleasantness between you.

    • The best form of respect is that which makes and keeps you likeable in his eyes. Anything that turns him off about you personally is disrespectable. Learn to read his moods, which you have been blessed to do as have all women.

    • Don’t argue with him. Men won’t compete with their woman for fear of losing and it weakens their dominance to accept her as debater. Moreover, to argue causes him to see that he is wrong or to blame, which comes back to bite you. You have all you need to get your way most of the time, but it takes patience, indirectness, and restructuring of your priorities to merge two self-interests into one mutual interest.

    • Make sure he knows by your frequent confirmations that he rules the roost. However, to the extent he permits you to rule his castle, you can maintain it up to meet his standards. He should know that is what motivates you.

    • Frequently show how grateful you are for both who he is and what he does. You depend on him more than the reverse, but you try to please him about what he expects of a good wife.

    • If the ways you treat him seem to harmonize your relationship, you are probably showing whatever respect he expects. He wants a peaceful and harmonized home, so getting the kids to show respect adds to your blessings.

    • To blame is to disrespect. To help him find satisfaction in all that he does shows respect.

    I admire your desire to show more respect, and I’m sure he does too. What he and I admire about you are virtues to each of us, and each man wants to marry a virtuous woman. So, it’s a good sign when you’re admired, because he feels respected enough to look for your qualities instead of your faults.

    Guy

    • Sarina

      Thanks so much, it’s important to implement with a natural delivery so practice is key.

      Your Highness Sarina,
      Absolutely, you have it right on. Natural and sincere delivery, no phoniness.
      Guy

    • Femme

      Dear Sir Guy,
      I’ve been meaning to ask those questions for a while now: what if a man is an abusive alcoholic or a terrorist (this in view of latest news from Orlando)? Also, when do we overdo it and step over into codependency? Do you think Eastern cultures (that to a great extent are still very much patriarchal) have got it right?

      Your Highness Femme,

      I don’t understand what you ask for with: “Also, when do we overdo it and step over into codependency?”

      As for, “Eastern cultures have got it right?” If you mean their version of patriarchy, of course not.

      Guy

      • Femme

        I mean, I know you write about what men and women are naturally endowed with, but in the above situation I can’t help but think our female nature makes us way too vulnerable.

        Your Highness Femme,
        Women have always been vulnerable, except when they turn the tables and have the freedom to work out better settlements in their relationships. American women have done that for several centuries, but they lose it as the constitution is disemboweled and Christianity is wiped from the culture.
        Guy

        • Miss Gina

          Dear Lady Femme,

          Having walked the path out of codependency, I would suggest that the difference between it and femininity is that the feminine woman never loses her sense of herself. Codependency largely consists of people-pleasing to the detriment of the self. The feminine woman loves herself and takes extremely good care of herself. Her love for others flows out f this. She keeps her (good) interests in view at all times. These always factor in the interests of those around her, especially family. Such generosity boosts her self-esteem. She may choose to let others have their way in the present, but that does not mean she is a pushover. Rather, she is a master strategist. If someone in her life is working against her interests, she bides her time while considering her options, which are many. She is well aware of her power, which is why she is subtle in using it. The feminine woman knows that she can always change her environment by changing herself and her actions. She is well-connected with her community and is not afraid to bring others in on her behalf. She is skilled in gaining the trust of people in authority (especially men) in the community that her husband respects and drawing him into their influence. Clearly, if her husband is breaking the law, she isn’t afraid to call in the authorities. All of this strength is clothed in kindness and gentleness, but there is no resemblance to a victim.

          • My Husband's Wife

            Wow! This is lovely, Miss Gina! And very helpful the way you painted the picture of the feminine lady. I would want to be around this person…and am working on being this person!

          • Femme

            Miss Gina,
            you put it so beautifully. The key for me is the taking care of myself first bit. Yes, I’ve been on the path to recovery for quite some time now and I guess words like “don’t argue with him” and “try to please him” tend to scare me a lot. I may have gone in the opposite direction at times just to be on the “safe side”. I’m beginning to slowly understand that there is nothing wrong with pleasing the husband (or someone else) as long as I don’t lose self interest out of sight.
            Kind of hard to connect with your feminine side when you grew up with a feminist mother.
            Thanks Miss Gina. 🙂

          • Cinnamon

            On feminine power, I read an interesting comment today at Crisis Magazine (“Author says a New Religion Persecutes Christians”):

            “If you understand the fall of humanity was accomplished by a woman who allowed herself to be seduced by evil and a man who completed the fall, and the redemption which was accomplished when the new Eve rejected evil and chose good and the Man who completed the task on the Cross, you realize what happens next is up to women.

            The entire culture is set up to seduce women to rejecting the unique power they, and they alone have- to give life to men who will take upon themselves the crosses needed to throw off the shackles of the new evil.”

            Your Highness Cinnamon,

            Amen, sister. Only women can throw off the shackles of the new evil. And even they won’t be able if the current trend continues to suppress the Constitution of the United States as the supreme law of the land and smash Christianity as the most popular religion.

            I have been saying this since the earliest days of the blog, when I realized the superiority of the female gender for doing the right thing. We will never recover our Judeo-Christian culture, our American greatness, and our family togetherness until women in the role of wives recover control and take charge once again of cultural values, standards, and expectations and lead husbands once again down that successful road.

            Guy

  2. Southernbelle

    Sir,
    In regards to this above “Women expect that the farther out of his way and convenience a man goes to gift her, the more she means to him”… Is this not true? I definitely judge this way. Is this unfair? Please guide me if
    I’ve been led astray in this thinking.

    Your Highness Southernbelle,
    Yes, it’s true of what women think. No, it’s not unfair, unless you blame a guy for not doing something your way. Guidance: Be grateful for what you get and not what it cost him; cost in money and convenience is his domain. Never mention such a thing to a guy who gifts you, unless you want him to stop or drop you. Also, never find fault in a gift and never not praise, use, or wear it at least once. Men anguish over the proper gift, and they can very easily be discouraged from doing it again. One exception: Giving you an expensive gift to buy your affection or …?
    Guy

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