2485. Friendly Reminders — 04


  • Expecting Mr. Good Enough to make himself worthy of her creates relationship glue. The drawn out habit-forming process should have no precise rush or goal for her; just enable him to develop his worthiness. If marriage results, it will be his idea or it likely won’t last. The prove-his-worth glue should help her harmonize their togetherness (unless, of course, she assumes another persona after marriage).
  • Men can’t duplicate God’s unconditional love, but they can show the earthly equivalent. That is, unconditional respect for individuals, especially those that reveal they don’t deserve it. (Strictly by the male nature, men only respect those who earn their personal respect.)
  • Men are slow to adapt, but they follow for better or worse the moral and religious standards exemplified by women and especially their woman. (Men like for all women to live by the same values, standards, and expectations that are elevated above masculinity. In the past, men morphed into gentlemen in the wake of women who styled themselves as ladies. It makes women more mysterious, unpredictable, and not understandable. All of which makes them more attractive to men, when their inside attractiveness uplifts their outside appearance.)
  • Projecting gratitude and respect reflects on hubby as her dependence. It  makes wife more valuable to him, even though she proves herself relatively independent in harmonizing the home.
  • Professing psychological need of a man—‘I can’t do without you’— weakens her case to keep him. She acts too possessive. He’s neither pleased nor capable, and he dodges it until she gets sickening about it. Then he departs.
  • These multiplex ingredients blend into maximum marital glue. Her likeability reinforces his significance. In his eyes he’s a better man for having her. His significance reinforces her need for a brighter future. She’s a better woman for having it brighter. Without those connections intensely exchanged, other single ingredients can be insufficient, e.g., love, respect, affection, vows, dependence.

 

10 Comments

Filed under courtship, feminine, How she wins, marriage

10 responses to “2485. Friendly Reminders — 04

  1. Shermy

    “Professing psychological need of a man—‘I can’t do without you’— weakens her case to keep him. She acts too possessive. He’s neither pleased nor capable, and he dodges it until she gets sickening about it. Then he departs.”

    Can you explain this further Sir Guy, because I hear complaints from men ALL THE TIME about how they don’t feel needed.

    Thanks!

    Your Highness Shermy,
    You mention apples and oranges. My apples are women that show their need with smother love and similar excesses that flow from fright of losing him. Your oranges are women that are so independent, scared, or committed to feminist thought they can’t or won’t show respect for and dependence on a man.
    Guy

    • This is a really good question and I think it’s really a bit of a balancing act. We have to let men know they are needed, depended on, we rely heavily on their protection and provision, their love, and yet we are still going to be okay without them, we are not emotionally dependent on them for our very identity.

      I’m laughing here, but I sometimes think of cats, they’re pretty fragile, they depend on us to feed them, but they’re actually also independent and they rule the house rather effortlessly. Half the time cats seem to totally ignore us and they certainly don’t require our validation.

      Neediness can be really unattractive for both men and women. Needy men kill attraction, I think we start to perceive them maternally, not romantically. Needy women can be suffocating, clingy, and perhaps make men feel insecure, as if they a have taken on way too much emotional responsibility. I want to flee just thinking about it 🙂

  2. silberstreak

    “In his eyes, he’s a better man for having her.”

    People often tell me how much they admire my wife; I usually reply that I consider it my greatest accomplishment in life to have made myself into the kind of man a woman like her would wish to marry.

    Sir Silberstreak,

    Very well phrased. My compliments on it.

    I usually say it in the reverse form, but your wife married over her head. I applaud her for knowing how to do it.

    A big difference exists between a good man among men and a good man among women and men. The former is easy and there are many. The latter is not as easy and there are but a few. You’re a compliment to our gender, a better man than most. I admire you.

    Guy

    • Jonathan Silber

      Thanks, Sir Guy, for the kind words of praise; coming from you, with your extraordinary understanding of both sexes and what is required for them to be happy together, it is praise well worth having.

  3. Meow Meow

    Hi Sir Guy,
    You say,
    “In the past, men morphed into gentlemen in the wake of women who styled themselves as ladies. It makes women more mysterious, predictable, and not understandable.”

    Is it a typo when you say “Predictable” or do you mean “Unpredictable”…in regards to the ladies…can one be mysterious although predictable?

    Women’s mags always say we should be “Unpredictable” but that seems a little forced to me. (I’m imagining some lady running around pulling cats out of her hat or something) So I’m curious…

    Your Highness Meow Meow,
    No, it was not a typo. I had another thought in mind had I just explained it in context. Yours fits the context better and is more relevant to readers. So, out of deference to clearer thinking on the matter, I’m changing it to “unpredictable.”
    Thank you. Clarity remains a prime mission for the blog.
    Guy

  4. Hey Guy! Can you recommend any tv shows or films to watch to help improve feminine behaviour?

    Your Highness Damibabs,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Try the following articles. Although mostly aimed at romance, feminine behavior is so obvious that it may be what you want. Post 1242, 1369, and 2039.

    Guy

    • Cinnamon

      Damibabs,

      This article by KQ Duane doesn’t address your question directly but may be of interest to you nonetheless:

      https://kqduane.com/good-movies/

      Your Highness Cinnamon,
      Thanks, you provided a good essay, good reasoning by the author, and her list.

      Guy

      • My Husband's Wife

        Thanks for the lists, Sir Guy and Cinnamon! I find it helpful actually seeing examples/role models in play after reading to help incorporate what I know in my heart into daily living.

        Speaking of movies and when they were “good”, I recently came across some interesting information (E. Michael Jones, Libido Dominandi: Sexual Liberation as a PsyOp) about the history of movies in America that explains WHY they were good in that era. Apparently, films were becoming quite pornographic leading up to the 20s. Christians then revolted by boycotting theaters. The production studios started losing a ton of money, so they shifted to make the more appropriate movies. Years later (50s/60s, I believe) a naked scene was shown in the context of a war film. No one objected this time—which gave the studios the go-ahead to continue on.
        He also has an interesting theory that relates the rise horror/violent films to the degradation of sexual morals. And yes, interesting how violence has increased along with the increase in “sexual freedom.” Which we then come full circle back to Sir Guy’s premise of “as women go, society goes.”
        Another note about movies: Jones cites the movie “The People vs. Larry Flynt” and “Boogie Nights” as being pivotal in equating pornography with freedom.

        I don’t agree with everything E. Michael Jones has to say, but the general idea of an elite group using various psychological techniques in a culture war against its people for total control seems quite logical.

        “Thus, a good man, though a slave, is free; but a wicked man, though a king, is a slave. For he serves, not one man alone, but, what is worse, as many masters as he has vices.”
        – St. Augustine, City of God

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