2488. Female Love (cont’d)


Responding to 2487, Her Highness Beloved inquired this way. “Are you also saying men don’t love women as much as women love men or just that they aren’t as good at showing it?” She spurred the following ride.

They love differently, because they are born different. Men have no natural equivalent to female love. The closest thing is respect. Female love is just given; it doesn’t have to be earned. Male love can’t be earned without her first earning his respect. (Men love more and deeply when they highly respect the female gender, and Feminism’s blame has also weakened and darkened modern relationships.)

A woman’s love is inborn. It’s not just ability but essential for her life. Her personality and roles in life are built around it. She’s born to give love, and she needs it returned to maintain her spirit as a woman. It’s so deeply entrenched in her psyche that she can love someone without reason or respect, pretty much just from appearance such as when experiencing infatuation. Without loving someone, she’s effectively lost. Unrequited love can unsettle her ability of living a routine life among others.

A man is born with the ability to love and can shower it on inanimate objects and certain habits of behavior. But he’s not born with the incentive to give unearned love as do women. Love emerges the male heart only if respect of a woman precedes it. He can’t or won’t love without trusting it’s the right thing for his present-day life and all the other things he has to do.

Setting aside romantic love as an instantaneous and short-lived phenomenon that plays but a minor role, men fall into love this way. She’s attractive, he earns self-admiration by pursuing her for sex, and he either conquers her or continues trying.

Love grows out of his trying to convince her to yield. As he looks for weaknesses, he uncovers qualities that he admires aka virtues. Seeking to marry a virtuous woman, the more virtues that accumulate in his mind and become appreciated in his heart, the more certainly his love starts to grow.

Trust and respect are reciprocals; give one and it earns the other. Men expect to earn trust by giving respect, but a woman has to earn his respect by being trustworthy. The best test of which is her insistence on remaining chaste to him. If she fails to yield with all his charm, effort, and persistence, then she must be chaste with other men. Therefore, she can be trusted, and it means that his respect of her is a solid foundation for his loving feelings to follow.

If he respects her, he figures he can trust her. If he sees her trust, he presumes he is respected. However, kill trust and you kill respect and vice versa in the male mind. Thus, by making conquest easy, a woman signals that she’s not as trustworthy or as lovable as a man expects and she does not earn the foundation of respect for his love to follow.

The male psyche is hardwired to conquer attractive women, who earn masculine respect by refusing to yield. If they earn much respect before conquest, a man is not primed to love them; it’s only the foundation. His love develops out of other factors such as her likeability and his loyalty to her and his likeability to her and her loyalty to him.

Another route to male love is available. After conquest, she earns his respect in non-sexual ways; persona, character, virtues, etc. As a man’s respect intensifies, his love can develop and intensify with devotion, which is another process that can develop according to how a woman responds to a man’s desire to love her.

Consequently, manly love is highly conditional. It comes in the form of process rather than a woman’s ability to love just to be giving love as part of her nature. While it’s possible for his love to exceed hers, it’s not the usual case. Relatively only, her love is almost instantaneous compared to the prolonged process by which a man comes to love a woman.

As for showing his love as easily as women do, it’s inborn that men not disclose their emotions. Born to compete, it gives competitors an advantage to know how a man feels and thinks. Part of the process of learning to love a woman includes the conscious dropping of that instinct long enough to say, I love you. Once married, the instinct returns as habit to keep his feelings to himself, especially if their relationship develops into a competitive one. Yes, the less competitive, the more easily he can express his feelings in words that she desires and appreciates.

Consequently, men have good reason not to show their love as well as do women. By their nature, men don’t love women as much as women love men until and unless the man becomes proactively devoted to his woman. Devotion is another earning process (posts 2473-74) that takes place during courtship, marriage or starts up with a man’s immediate conviction that he loves at first sight.

All of the above is condensed into this summary of their natures: If he cheats, she wants to talk. If she cheats, he wants to walk.

4 Comments

Filed under courtship, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

4 responses to “2488. Female Love (cont’d)

  1. “Consequently, men have good reason not to show their love as well as do women. By their nature, men don’t love women as much as women love men until and unless the man becomes proactively devoted to his woman.”

    This is very wise. I think that can be hard for women to accept. Men’s hearts really have to be slowly unwrapped. Men do love differently and it’s not quite as emotional, but a bit more reason based. Women can get together and find the ugliest possible dog and fall in love with it instantly. There are actually ugly dog competitions. It’s an emotional and biological response, we often love to nurture people and things we find instantly cute and in need of us. Men don’t have quite the same response.

  2. KitKat

    Then why have there been men (3 times) that were more in love with me than I was with them. I had someone recently ask if I was still in love with him, and though I didn’t tell him no, I probably never was, I didn’t see the point of hurting him, but I didn’t tell him yes, either.

    Your Highness KitKat,
    You must be unusual, different, and prettier than most. It’s also possible you are unable to love someone other than yourself.
    Guy

    • KitKat

      Small children love me. Men love me. Other women, not so much.

      Your Highness KitKat,
      You are blessed immensely.
      Guy

  3. Naj

    I loved reading about this. Sometimes I despair that I don’t understand men, and I may not fully…but your content helps me immensely. Thanks, Guy- I hope we can all go out into the world and make you proud!

    Your Highness Naj,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

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