2494. Friendly Reminders — 11


  • A father’s love of his son is an expression of his pride in delivering sperm. Love of his daughter is based on other things, and respect for the mother is important and sometimes vital.
  • Apologies are a female invention to reduce risk. Men are bigger risk takers and don’t apologize easily and especially not for the inconsequential.
  • “Men seldom make passes at girls that wear glasses.” Coined by Dorothy Parker in early 20th Century, it’s a myth. Men value attractiveness very differently than women.
  • Females who dress less than full of feminine pride carry an aura of masculine disdain and even arrogance about the opinions of other people. Social success more easily escapes them except as they are sexually active.
  • Moms who love themselves greatly for being female seem more able and inclined to defer gratification about the sex of their unborn children. They more easily anticipate the surprise at birth as a great gift they deserve. Their sense of importance thus revolves around secrecy about that point in time. Consequently, delivery makes their self-importance soar even more with the disclosure of sex then. They become more proud and glorious than if they—and especially others including father—know the sex beforehand. (I would love to hear of contrary opinions and objections.)
  • A big difference exists between doing something wrong, which attacks your self-confidence and not doing something right, which attacks your conscience.
  • To forgive relieves the conscious mind and to forget relieves the subconscious mind of bothersome issues and burdens. Since over 99 percent of our behavior is stimulated by the subconscious mind, forgetfulness is more important than forgiveness insofar as our own behaviors are affected. Consequently, if forgiveness doesn’t produce forgetfulness, the forgiveness is not sincere.

12 Comments

Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, feminine, Her glory, marriage

12 responses to “2494. Friendly Reminders — 11

  1. Beloved

    “Love of his daughter is based on other things,” Would you elaborate on this?

    Your Highness Beloved,

    Self-development of father in loving others. Respect of females generally and wife in particular, especially as mother. Daughter’s resemblance to mother. Her prettiness and beauty that father may or may not see in her. Time father spent dreaming with mother while infant in utero. Etcetera. A lot of little things that are easily disregarded when father views a son.

    Because she carried and gave birth, mother-love overrides all those little things with a son.

    Guy

  2. Miss Gina

    On disclosure of baby’s sex, I can’t say that was true for me, though it may be for others. I think it is nice to keep it a surprise for all, including parents, but we had ultrasounds so had predictions. We had one forecast to be a girl (in the early days of blurry ultrasound) who turned out to be a boy! I didn’t think about it for two seconds…only issue was coming up with a name fast, lol. We were so wrapped up in discovering our son’s individuality.

    These days, the technology is so advanced that I personally think the wonder of seeing such clear and detailed pictures of the baby in utero offsets any disappointment in knowing the gender. Same joy in exploring that new little person, just spaced out over a longer time period. Just my two cents.

    Your Highness Miss Gina,

    Your two cents is always worth a lot more. So, thank you.

    In this society where low self-esteem is so common, I continue to think that promoting wife’s self-image as expectant mother for nine months is preferable to only 4 or 5 months and let the focus of importance shift to an unaware infant.

    Guy

    • Miss Gina

      Thank you, Sir Guy.

      I can’t give an observer’s opinion–only a mother’s…Baby was the only thing on my mind…never pride as mother, as a man might have pride in doing something. Our children had definite personalities from the womb that we couldn’t ignore during pregnancy, which have carried into adulthood: the mischievous tease who’s always ready to make up a game (yes, he invented a game that he played with us in the womb! Still delights to pull Mom’s leg, too) and the athlete who pummelled mama day and night with fists and feet who is now a fitness trainer. Taking care of self for their sake, preparing a nest for them, and delighting in their respective presences fully absorbed all attention other than regular activities, for me.

      However, I fully support helping women love themselves in any and all circumstances…and if mom is a bit immature (who isn’t at any age in some respect?), pregnancy is a good time to remedy that.

      Your Highness Miss Gina,
      Thanks for a wonderful and clear comment. You’re quite a lady and apparently the same kind of mother.
      Guy

  3. Meow Meow

    Sir Guy I think your 4th bullet point is too harsh….I have to say most of the girls I know who dress “Less than full of feminine pride” have low self-esteem. They hardly seem arrogant (or disdainful of men’s opinions,) but by far the opposite–they feel for some internal reasons they can’t compete with other girls/women and so have given up even trying. They just take themselves out of the running….I was such a girl in days past. “Disdain for men” or frankly whatever a man thought just wasn’t a part of it, but depression/family issues was.

    Your Highness Meow Meow,

    You’re right in virtually every word. That is what comes out of political convention found in a country of collectivists, majority rule, rule of man instead of rule of law, and where no one wants to stand out for fear of being different.

    However, in the U.S., a country philosophically and politically designed for individuals to pursue, life, liberty, and their own happiness, it doesn’t pay to appear like everyone else. You need to standout admirably or you’re just passing by in the parade of nobodies. Individuals change their world, collectivists float along in theirs.

    Personal strength and pride do not arise from being like all the others. As Mark Twain said, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

    I recognize the harshness of my response, darling. I’m sick and tired of my country being demolished while a dumbed-down public and electorate stands idled by smarter elitists who seek to rule us more directly with totalitarian power, to smash us into a collectivist mess from which we cannot emerge as individuals.

    Guy

    • Miss Gina

      I agree with both of your evaluations, but I think men subliminally take it the way Sir Guy explained it, regardless of how women arrived at that place.

      It comes from anti-Christian cultural rot that says it is a good thing to throw out all standards and “do your own thing,” which generally ends up being the same path of least resistance that everyone else is taking.

      Depression results and causes a downward vicious cycle…was there once, too, myself. Glad to be in the pretty camp now with Lady MeowMeow…much more fun. 😄

    • Meow Meow

      I know. But little girls and young teens don’t know anything about all that. They are not trying to make a political statement in broader terms, they are simply expressing how they feel—like trash. The pressure to stand out/be a winner/be the fairest of them all IS there, from our culture, and it trickles down into children’s birthday parties, playthings, clothes, and advertisements. Most little girls already know it is important to be pretty, own the “right” shoes or toys, etc. etc.. In fact I’m amazed how many know all about that but know nothing of compassion or how to treat others kindly…JM2C. It is a great deal of inner work and strength to get oneself out of that place, (of low self-esteem/depression) and doesn’t happen without some kind of inspiration or encouragement. Discovering your own unique beauty and abilities can indeed bring one out of one’s shell eventually but its a long road to walk and often damage has been done by then. As always kindness, consistency and interest seems to be the starting point to reaching out to one so fearful.

      Your Highness Meow Meow,

      You’re right again.

      The cause of what you identify is the educational system’s stupidity and parents buying into the self-esteem movement. They know not of what they do. It is part of the political dumbing down of the public and electorate.

      • Improving self-esteem does not come from unearned gifts, of trying to keep everyone equal as persons, alike as peers, and happy as individuals. All of which is impossible when attempted by others, such as educators and even parents.

      • Self-esteem is hardwired after the conscious mind opens in the third year of life. After that, we are dealing with self-image because the child has input that was lacking before. Improving self-image—one’s picture of who one is and what one does—comes out of personal achievement. Competition spurs it like nothing else, and trophies for participating, for example, reverses any progress in that direction.

      • Low self-esteem, as in young girls today, means they cannot highly regard others.

      • All life is relative to something. If one cannot highly regard others, the only way they can feel good about themselves it at the expense of others, and so they are in the daily business of finding fault and others to disdain and demean. It does nothing to improve self-image, and so it leaves such children to rot on the vine of little or no self-development to depart the gutter.

      That is more background that arises out of the political philosophy I cited earlier.

      Guy

      • Miss Gina

        In agreement with Sir Guy and Lady MeowMeow, I would suggest that the inner beauty and self-love mentioned can only come about through Christianity and its principles. The ultimate statement of value for each of us is that God Himself cannot tolerate our sin but made a way for us to be with Him through His Son’s own suffering and death on our behalf.

        His love is for each of us individually. He knows each of us intimately, including why He put in those little quirks we may hate–He loves them! Christ’s example of love and compassion is the only thing that can overcome our natural selfishness and/or self-hatred, as the case may be.

        Yet, Christ was not a pushover, knew exactly Who He was, and called out evil to the point that those in charge tried more than once to kill Him.

        Schools used to work with parents to instill this godly balance in children. Now both pretend it’s not their jobs, substituting cheap, feel-good platitudes and mostly neglect. The emptiness of such lily-livered teaching and parenting leads to greater self-hatred (depression, etc.) or self-idolatry (self-absorption, arrogance, bullying, feminism, Marxism, hedonism, crime) without the grace of God.

        Ultimately, parents bear responsibility for both, as they can pressure schools and/or teach the academics themselves, if they are willing to pay the price.

        Your Highness Miss Gina,
        You got that right.
        Guy

        • Miss Gina

          I want to include Jewish values in the comment above, of course.

          Further on this point, the self-worth that comes from achievement is promoted by the Judeo-Christian virtues of diligence, order, knowledge, and wisdom. Such self-worth is kept from becoming grandiose by the virtue of humility. We are directed in paths of achievement that do not harm others by the Golden Rule.

          We draw on the fruits of our achievements to help those less fortunate because of the virtue of charity. Giving causes us to feel even better about ourselves, but we would do precious little of it if we were not taught to do so by Scripture or led to do so by God’s Spirit.

          If we compare to nations and cultures founded on other principles, we see this clearly. Achievement in such times and places is either lacking or happens at the expense of the weak, while pride and self-hatred are at extremes.

          Watered-down, simpering Christianity that fears man’s opinion and not God’s righteousness (the kind with one foot in each camp) doesn’t even recognize that those values are taught in Scripture. It can’t even name what’s been pummeling it…Here’s to robust Jewish and Christian faith.

          • Meow Meow

            Thank you Miss Gina! Glad you gave a shout out to Jewish values too, which Christianity will always be deeply tied to in its beginnings….

            Caring for the poor and downtrodden is the main thing that separated Christianity from the religions of the Romans and Greeks who extolled the virtues of strength and intellectual/physical/martial achievement. Right now, we are in a time, largely aggravated by social media, where more and more greed/materialism is glorified, is “good”—and yes achievement is more and more happening at the expense of the weaker. As a parent of a young teenager I see it every day—Darwin-like, it seems as if only the strongest families prosper, separating from those financially weaker than themselves. There is no neighborliness, no connection, no reciprocation…… complete individuality, every family a tiny self serving organism looking out only for itself. Yet ultimately, we are all in this together! Young girls and teens in my experience, are not looking down their nose at anyone except themselves, feeling they don’t measure up, full stop. (And believe it or not it is possible to feel that other people are worthy, but you are not. You do not “disdain” them—you wish you were them, but are acutely aware you are not and may never be.) Kids did not create this culture, adults did and do. But kids experience the fallout. I don’t see the sense in blaming the canary for the coal mine. That to me helps no one. Helping the canaries see that they are actually in a coal mine and need to find a verdant forest is helpful…one canary at a time needs to find their own song, somehow.

    • Cinnamon

      Meow Meow,

      I see the same things you see. Growing up in the 1970s/80s I knew girls who were very poorly groomed and lacked any kind of self-confidence. When I got to know them as friends I learned that they had working mothers who neglected their daughters on a daily basis in favour of their careers and their female friendships. All the “nurturing instincts” that should have gone to their children was instead directed toward their careers and their female friendships. These daughters paid the price in terms of self-hatred, depression, confusion., drug abuse, suicide attempts. etc.

      These mothers, who came of age in the 1940s and 1950s – and the fathers who sat by and allowed this to happen – are now in their 80s (if they are still alive) have a lot to answer for before the God who entrusted them with these young lives. It causes me pain to even think about this and the suffering these vulnerable young women endured, having grown up in homes which appeared middle-class on the surface, and often times were at least nominally Christian, but where they were neglected and unloved. by the people who were supposed to teach them how to live in the outside world.

      NB: I am not opposed to “working mothers” per se, having had to work full-time my entire adult life through economic necessity. Being a working mother and a good mother are not mutually exclusive. What I AM opposed to is mothers, whether married or unmarried, who give birth and then neglect their offspring in favour of “self-development.” I’ve seen the carnage first hand, and such children are better off having been given up for adoption to a loving home.

  4. Mia

    “Men seldom make passes at girls that wear glasses.” What? This isn’t true?? And here I am trying all my life to get rid of my glasses… Good thing I read this blog
    🙂

    Your Highness Mia,
    Of course, it isn’t true. Men value attractiveness very differently than women. Quite often glasses add attractiveness by complementing or harmonizing all the other features one sees and judges.
    Guy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s