2497. Friendly Reminders — 14

  • Women are great cooperators and thereby excel at marriage. Men are great competitors and thereby excel in single life. Women should learn to compete better in their bachelorette days. Remaining chaste justifies competition that men are willing to accept or leave if they are only after sex. Men should learn to cooperate better in their married days; remaining faithful is the most sought after demonstration.
  • To raise good kids, teach girls to make themselves important in the eyes of others by simply being grateful for them. Teach boys to see themselves as admirable through their accomplishments. Teach girls to find things to admire about boys. Teach boys to find high value in girls’ strength to stand up for things and courage to stand up to boys. Boys automatically appreciate girls’ accomplishments. Girls automatically appreciate boys’ importance in life. So, those don’t have to be taught directly.
  • Boys pursue sex until stopped by a girl’s self-confidence that rises up to protect her virtue. If necessary by even damaging masculine self-respect. Successfully protecting her virtue enhances her self-respect, which reinforces her self-confidence. So, confidently protecting what boys see as her virtue makes her character more admirable and, hence, more virtuous in male eyes.
  • Once she chooses a man to wed, she shouldn’t blame him too much for what goes wrong with their relationship. She is the relationship expert most able to maintain and sustain their marriage. Passing the blame justifies her to quit trying, which destroys an expert’s effectiveness.
  • A man may claim commitment or assert devotion as he asks for a woman’s financial help, loan, or even sharing the dinner check. He may claim unconditional devotion with words. But his actions signify a weak sense of personal responsibility and make him less convincing as the alpha male he tries or she hopes him to be. Even beta males seldom act so wimpish.


Filed under courtship, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

5 responses to “2497. Friendly Reminders — 14

  1. prettybeans

    Sir Guy,

    Once again your insight hits the nail on the head.

    I recently dated this one gentleman who was no gentleman at all. At the beginning he came on strong, very confident and very in charge of his agenda as an alpha male would (in my eyes anyway)

    He did everything right on the first date and for a week or so thereafter. Then we met again and he spoke passionately about the financial challenges that his 2-year old business has been facing recently and how he desires to know that he can provide for his future family (he spoke of this as an insecurity therefore I understood him to be opening up). I was fully engaged during the conversation and I listened keenly with a view to learning more about him and his situation.

    When the bill came – I’d had a drink and he’d had a meal – he passed the bill to me while assuring me that things won’t always be this way and that he’s never met someone so supportive of him and his ideas while also saying that of the many things that frustrated him about his ex was the fact that she did not support him in business. In order to avoid a potentially embarrassing situation, I paid but I remember that I found it very hard to reconcile the image of the ‘tough guy who is in charge’ with one where this same guy will take me to a place and then fail to pay.

    That action, along with the fact that he seemed to be very unfortunate in his dating past in that ‘all his ex girlfriends are pyscho’ made me step back and re-evaluate and then this past weekend I called time on things and ran for the hills when I found myself in a situation in which he deliberately exposed me to cruelty and public humiliation and I found that I was afraid that he would hit me in a fit of rage

    My point is that on that day when he passed the bill on to me, my conscience/gut/instinct was greatly disturbed by the fact that it didn’t seem like the most appropriate way for a gent to conduct himself.

    You once told me that the presence of some red flags does not necessarily and automatically disqualify someone from consideration but is an opportunity for closer examination and I am very glad that I listened to you.

    Thank you Sir

    • Meow Meow

      Very scary Prettybeans! I’m glad to hear you’ve headed for the hills. Better luck next time, your woman’s intuition was on to something…..It doesn’t cease to amaze me how so many people these days seem to have only a thin veneer of civilized behavior covering some terrifying flaws. I experienced a few men like this when I was dating and feel lucky to have escaped them.

      This is also why I believe its more ladylike, happier and safer for a woman not to marry until she meets a man who is the whole package (for her—) good values tested over time, hard-working, and attractive to her. Just being married won’t make you happy, being married to a good man will. Your patience and smarts are so admirable! Hugs and hoping you find the best partner for you….

      • prettybeans

        You encourage me Lady Meow Meow.
        Thank you.

        I’ve been wracking my brain wondering what it is I could have done to elicit such a frightening response from a grown up man but my brothers told me that no matter what I did or didn’t do, he was always in charge of his every action and bad behaviour cannot be attributed to a third party.

        Indeed as Guy always suggests, to be a woman is to tap into our natural reserves of poise and patience…I must stay that course that I know to be true

        Alluta continua

  2. "Another..."

    :” . . . When the bill came – I’d had a drink and he’d had a meal – he passed the bill to me while assuring me that things won’t always be this way and that he’s never met someone so supportive of him and his ideas while also saying that of the many things that frustrated him about his ex was the fact that she did not support him in business.”

    So, he not only fails to alert you in advance he may want your assistance with something financially related, he “passed the bill” to you. Doesn’t sound like he asked, but Presumed you would pay his way. I have learned about this sort of arrogance very late, but I sense it when it occurs and it makes my head want to blow off. Lucky he showed you this behavior early.

    Often, in a case such as this, the more they “assure” you of what won’t be, be assured actually, that is just a bit of what you can anticipate. Some liars don’t even blink at being called liars and deceitful. And continue in their ways while you become increasingly miserable and maybe self-destructive as a result.

    If you seem “so supportive of him and his ideas”, it is because the others grew tired of his games. Bull. However you wish to deem it. But it will not contribute to a happy conjoinment. He will expect and presume, everytime, rather than request, hope, and ask.

    Best wishes to you.

    ~ “Another…”

    Your Highness Another…,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    As a newbie, you’re especially welcome with the work you did above. Good description and writing.

    When men manipulate as you describe, they think they are getting the most out of suckers. It is not the natural way for males, which means that women give up their natural desire to get their way. By girls not fighting to get their way, guys feel no pressure to work their way into a woman’s bed. It means women marry without making a man earn them, which bodes worse for marriage than heretofore.


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