For the sake of discussion, let’s say women are exposed to three kinds of men.
- The player apparently has no interest in her; he acts as though she’s just a figurine nearby. She makes herself attractive, but he refuses to acknowledge it in any way. He may even act bored in her company, which smacks her ego so hard that she feels she must have him as her own. Trapped by her enthusiasm, it leads to his exit strategy—conquest and dumped.
- The infatuated man finds her so strikingly attractive that he forgets to be cool. He is too eager, pleasing, and respectful for her to find him respectable. Her exit strategy, drop him politely if possible.
- The gentleman moves slowly. He protects his own ego by avoiding rejection by not being quick to invite himself into her life. Even slow to flirt, he awaits a few of her signals that he is free to be more open. He first earns her respect, which enables her to earn his respect by matching his demeanor. Somewhere in his life he learned that mutual respect is the most important requirement for a successful relationship.
The question for a woman becomes how to convert the gentleman into husband for life. The answer is simple but highly complex to do: Get him to love you devotedly. It happens in a process that I shall describe but that in no way represents real life as you will live it. It’s how a man’s nature requires certain satisfactions that lead him to fall into a woman’s lap as husband. Yes, free him up with encouragements that enable him to do all the work and then stay out of his way.
First, he needs to respect females generally and respect you as a unique woman. What if his opinion of women is ungood. It’s a red flag. Example: Players lack respect for the female gender. You have to work harder to earn greater respect or drop him as unqualified for you.
Second, he needs a lot of time associating successfully with you. He has to figure out that you each to the other are likeable personalities, loyal as couple, and faithful sexually. Do or can you add comfort and enjoyment to his present life? He expects it without doubt, if you couple up.
Third, you stay out of his way like this.
- Don’t try to nurture or mother him or in any way try to get him to love you. Expect him to initiate relationship activities.
- Keep your mouth shut about love and any connections you may feel. The quieter you are about the relationship, the more he has to figure out. Men believe much better what they figure out than what they are told. He has to believe that he loves you before he actually does, and so he has to figure it out for himself.
- Make him earn whatever you give him. From hugs to kisses to favors to affection to love. Be patient, go slow, and insist that he do the same. Don’t try to impress him, except that your admiration of his accomplishments impress you. If at all possible, make him the first to say, “I love you.” When you say it first, he thinks he has it made and quits trying so hard to win you. He figures conquest is just around the next corner.
While you are doing those things, his mind is busy. The male nature is programmed to accomplish what satisfies a man. What I describe as steps merge together into one constantly developing process that emerges out of his determined effort to get you into bed. Figuring out your place in his life happens in no certain order although I describe it that way.
- He’s looking for your weaknesses that will facilitate getting you in bed. Your job is to keep him looking, finding them, but making sure they fail to work for him.
- He instead finds that you have qualities that he never suspected or was not previously interested. Each quality that he admires becomes virtue to him, and men seek to marry a virtuous woman. It means that the longer he searches for weaknesses, the more virtues he uncovers. It means, even more importantly, that his respect for you grows because you have the self-respect to protect your chastity against his charm, entreaties, and perhaps love as he may proclaim it.
- You exercise due caution and refuse to be sexually exploited. Almost accidentally his curiosity arouses, his imagination soars according to how emotionally attractive you are to him. Somewhere along the line he realizes that he wants you more than he wants sex with you. IOW, the latter can wait while he focuses on not losing you.
- His verbal commitment, followed by courtship, enables more virtues to accumulate and compound. He starts pleasing himself by pleasing you more and more, which is the development of devotion. Devotion grows and morphs into fascination. At some point, in a surprising realization, he concludes he can’t live without you. The surprise upgrades his mind from your fascinating likeability into a new app. He perceives you as full of promise as a potential mate.
- Spurred by his imagination, his judgment shifts you from potential mate to possible wife. Thinking himself unable to do without you, his focus changes. He looks for your promise as his life-partner, which casts the lure of your help to routinely uplift his present life and fulfill his ambitions. That realization qualifies you as highly desired wife. After imagining the full consequences of that, he envisions a trip to the altar. You hold so much promise that he can no longer ignore it.
- He proposes, is accepted, turns the arrangements over to you and your mother and friends. Game, set, match. He only has to get himself to the altar on time, if she’s smart enough to leave him out of the preparations to protect her mystique.
Thus, just by being yourself and not trying to accelerate the process or convince him to commit or marry, by showing extensive patience, you pave with undisclosed female dreams the pathway to the altar. You dodge his search for weakness, demo your abundant qualities that he can admire, and await the proposal in his good time.
As I hope you have seen, the nature of men produces a premarital process and commitment agenda very different from both the womanly process and whatever women envision for men. Women are fond of makeovers in appearance because men appreciate the results. If more women had makeovers in virtuous behavior—aka feminine, moral, religious, and anti-feminist qualities—I predict that men would appreciate it. Many more would step up to the monogamous plate
You win by setting ablaze his curiosity, imagination, and subconscious mind. A fire that you can’t start directly and effectively, only subtly and indirectly. That’s why manipulation and pushing a man to the altar makes a marriage short-lived. You have to let him determine his commitment, devotion, and time to propose. To figure important things out himself is to believe he is doing the right thing when he yields his independence to you. When that conviction remains for life, so does the marriage.