These are the two damnedest phenomena in all of human relations—and least understood by females. 1) A man has two sex drives. One that drives him to conquer unconquered women. Another satisfies his physiological desire for frequent sex with a woman already conquered—a distinct pair of primal urges.
2) He also has two levels of respect for a woman. The first she earns by refusing to yield to his conquering urges. The more time involved refusing him—and ingenuity and originality used to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver without his losing interest—the more respect she earns.
If he had her worthy sexual assets, he would make someone pay a hefty price to access them, and so he respects resistance and is willing to compete with her until after conquest. The growth of his respect stops with conquest, but it so impresses him that it stores permanently in his subconscious. It’s a natural function attached to his urge to conquer. She won his respect and he never loses that foundation upon which his love develops.
The second form of his respect is far less permanent. It is what she earns by virtue of post-conquest behavior in her multiple roles in life, such as sex partner, wife, mother, friend, talented artist, or sport or political figure. It can add to development of his love, but is secondary to respect earned before conquest.
Modern women miss the boat. He seeks to conquer her without obligation; she seeks to conquer him for marriage. The winner has the greatest managerial control of their future relationship, but he knows nothing of relationship management and knows little but to exploit male dominance. Consequently, the greater his respect she earns before conquest, the more willingly he accepts the female governance that enables her to manage a successful marriage.
Both sexes are born to be compatible and mate. Men are willing if rewarded for husbanding and fathering, generally with comfort, enjoyment, few complaints, and plenty of smiles. Women hope for permanence and their relationship expertise provides the talent and skill to produce it. To use it, however, they need his respect even more than his love. OTOH, unmarried sex makes females the inferior spouse, because they lose the masculine respect needed to convince a man to live the life of which women dream and which either God intended or evolution programmed into us.