2505. Two Kinds of His Respect for Her

These are the two damnedest phenomena in all of human relations—and least understood by females.  1) A man has two sex drives. One that drives him to conquer unconquered women. Another satisfies his physiological desire for frequent sex with a woman already conquered—a distinct pair of primal urges.

2) He also has two levels of respect for a woman. The first she earns by refusing to yield to his conquering urges. The more time involved refusing him—and ingenuity and originality used to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver without his losing interest—the more respect she earns.

If he had her worthy sexual assets, he would make someone pay a hefty price to access them, and so he respects resistance and is willing to compete with her until after conquest. The growth of his respect stops with conquest, but it so impresses him that it stores permanently in his subconscious. It’s a natural function attached to his urge to conquer. She won his respect and he never loses that foundation upon which his love develops.

The second form of his respect is far less permanent. It is what she earns by virtue of post-conquest behavior in her multiple roles in life, such as sex partner, wife, mother, friend, talented artist, or sport or political figure. It can add to development of his love, but is secondary to respect earned before conquest.


Modern women miss the boat. He seeks to conquer her without obligation; she seeks to conquer him for marriage. The winner has the greatest managerial control of their future relationship, but he knows nothing of relationship management and knows little but to exploit male dominance. Consequently, the greater his respect she earns before conquest, the more willingly he accepts the female governance that enables her to manage a successful marriage.

Both sexes are born to be compatible and mate. Men are willing if rewarded for husbanding and fathering, generally with comfort, enjoyment, few complaints, and plenty of smiles. Women hope for permanence and their relationship expertise provides the talent and skill to produce it. To use it, however, they need his respect even more than his love. OTOH, unmarried sex makes females the inferior spouse, because they lose the masculine respect needed to convince a man to live the life of which women dream and which either God intended or evolution programmed into us.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences

4 responses to “2505. Two Kinds of His Respect for Her

  1. Sarina

    This might the cause of the huge disrespect towards women that I see locally. We all have the reputation of being ‘easy & sleazy’ because the majority has the influence. However, it’s nearly impossible to make a guy coming for more and refuse his persistence at the same time. Lots of women become angry and snappy at his advances and they show an unpleasant attitude, then the guy chooses to leave. Sir Guy, would you recommend compliment or admiring a man before him doing it first?
    The last thing I would want is for a guy to think ‘she wants me’ but guys are perceptive.

    Your Highness Sarina,
    If I understand your dilemma correctly: No, neither compliment nor admiration. Just be friendly and smile. Let him take it from there. You can always shut him up, cut him off if need be. As long as you are silent, he doesn’t know which way to go, which puts him on his guard and you in control.

  2. It’s disheartening to constantly pay the price for other people’s poor judgment, but perhaps that’s only a case of the shoe now being placed on the other foot? Feminists have, for decades, placed all blame squarely at the feet of men and now the bitterness of that treatment is coming back to haunt all of us. They’ve converted quite a few men from the marriage pool and pushed them into the player pool. From the conversations that I have had with male coworkers and friends, there is a definite cynical and guarded attitude towards women today, with regards to their expectations and sense of entitlement. It seems like the women who still value men have a more difficult road to pave, almost double the work, in earning the respect and trust of men in today’s relationship world. Not only do we have to work to earn respect for ourselves, in a man’s eyes, but it seems we have to buy back the respect that other women have tossed away, as well. I do take heart in the fact that many gentlemen will still hold doors open for women and other kind gestures. Often just a genuine smile with eye contact and a “thank you so very much,” will light them up. It seems like they still hold out hope that women will return to kindness and gracious feminine behavior.

    Your Highness Honorfemineity,
    Your comment struck a chord, and I reposted an article of that may be of interest to you.

    • Dear Sir Guy,
      I greatly enjoyed the article that you reposted. Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady by demonstrating a wonderful way to both appreciate and encourage manly conduct that pleases them both. As always, your wisdom and generosity are greatly valued.

  3. Meow Meow

    Regarding the many forms of respect….I work in a very male-dominated company (which has both good sides and bad sides) and one of my managers (a handsome man in his late 50s, if it matters…and it might) is use to switching deadlines and meetings on me suddenly and often without explanation. I know that he has said of me that I’m a “giver, not a taker” and “nice” which sounds good but he says these things with a sneer, as in “She’ll handle it, she’s “Nice””–as if its a bad thing! He has seen me do a few helpful/kind things for other people around the workplace (I believe one of the many things we are here to do is help one another through life and I like to help others when I can)—and has obviously concluded I am easy to push around. It is sometimes hard for me to rearrange plans/stay late or come in early etc. as I have a family, but as times are tough I try not to use my family as a reason why I cannot accommodate his schedule and I don’t want to jeopardize my very necessary job. (i am generally easy going and don’t mind changing things to fit his schedule when its necessary but sometimes he doesn’t inform me until the last minute and says he “forgot”….which is very stressful). Sometimes I think that because he looks very good, he is used to women doing whatever he wants and applies that across the board.

    Clearly my boss is very intelligent, though careless how his decisions affect others, and as my boss, he owes me nothing. It is up to me if I choose to ask whether some of these abrupt changes can wait till tomorrow or a few hours later, I accept the fast-moving nature of my workplace, but what really concerns me is that a woman acting out small kindnesses in the world or simply being a visibly moral/helpful person can be perceived by men as being frail, naive, or as someone to be taken advantage of or “pushed” whether it applies to relationships or workplace power structures.

    From your writings Sir Guy I do realize its the male nature to “push”, want results and see how far they can go so I am trying to see this without blame…but why would some men see a kind woman as “easy” and lose respect for her rather than give respect? I will never stop trying to be a decent person because of my concern, but clearly some men (and women too!) feel like they can push the boundaries of other people perceived as values-driven. I am too tired of being treated like a workhorse in my marriage and my workplace, and I’m noticing pushback right when I am beginning to establish boundaries.

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