2506. Men are Never More Handsome…. A Revisit


At 2505 Her Highness Honorfemineity mentioned a subject fond in my heart and  worthy of revisit. I first published 2059 two years ago.

At 2058 Her Highness Prettybeans said to me. “Men are never more handsome as when they continue in their tireless efforts to teach and encourage recovery among ladies. Thank you.” Thus, she gives me both a perfect payday and perfect opportunity to further explain men.

When a man does something he considers a responsibility or obligation, it may be nice but he doesn’t expect to be thanked. It’s his duty. It’s the flip side of an unearned gift. Moreover, in today’s world, thank you is as worn out in sincerity as “I apologize.” So men pay little attention to thank you. Unless of course it’s extended as part of a hug from a pretty woman, which makes what he hears even less relevant.

OTOH, surprisingly expressed indirect compliments work wonders. Even reading Prettybeans above, note that the sentence is flooded with meaning for me that makes “Thank you” virtually unnoticeable.

I propose you ladies learn to charm men in general by charming individuals of opportunity. Charm both known and unknown men with indirect compliments wrapped in female boldness that produces the feminine advantage that women long to have. The benefits come to women from the effects they have on the masculine mind.

My favorite indirect compliment is this: “Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady (for whatever they do).” Use it every time a man pleases you. Opens the door, seats you at table, lets you go ahead of him in a waiting line, husband does laundry or brings you flowers. It doesn’t matter. If a man pleases you, suggest that he just might be made more handsome for doing it. You like to be reminded that you’re pretty don’t you? Indirectness works best with men.

  • First, you have not hit on him. You merely used a surprisingly pleasant way of expressing gratefulness for manly conduct that pleases you as a woman. After the same man has heard it several times, the surprise may evaporate but the friendly reminder will only fade slightly if at all.
  • When you claim yourself as a lady a few times, you will benefit both yourself and set standards for men. Up to which men learn to step when convinced you are what you claim repeatedly.
  • The phrasing makes it sound routine for other men. Strangers read it that you are routinely pleased by other men and it generates uncommon friendliness. Men you know are encouraged to do more to stay ahead of their competitors and to keep you pleased with them.
  • Men love to be called handsome by women, but you didn’t call him that. You call him one of many. He has to infer that he’s included among the pleasers of women, which encourages more because of the success you surprise him with.
  • Although delivered directly, you pass an indirect compliment. He has to make it personal. If he’s handsome for pleasing you, then his male competitors are too. To compete better, he’s encouraged to please you and perhaps others as opportunities arise. He sees women as targets to uplift as unique and deserving of his ability to please. It’s a natural follow-on to his success among competitors. He only has to connect pleasing women to earning self-admiration to make him a better man in the eyes of females.

It works in writing, just as Prettybeans wrote to me above. But, ladies, if you want the full effect, do it this way. For example, a stranger speeds up to hold open the door for you to enter a public building. Halfway through or after the door closes, stop to gain his attention, smile sincerely, capture his eyeballs with yours, and BOLDLY say, “You know, (pause) men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.” And don’t say thank you. Just continue to smile and walk on with something like “Have a good day.”

He can’t just hear it either. His ears are not his primary sensor. Belief only comes when he sees your earnestness. Eye-to-eye displays feminine courage that men respect.

I understand you ladies can’t accept what I propose. It requires too much boldness among other sensibilities. Were I in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t think of such a thing. Remember, I’m pushing you no harder than showing an example. Primarily, I’m using it to explain the male mind. You have to figure out how to make men please you, as modern men don’t seem too eager except in pursuit of sex. Only women can train men to do the right thing as women see what is right. Most women think it’s right for them to be pleased and especially by men. That’s why I’m here to help.

I promise you this. Provided you do it boldly, smilingly, and with eyeballs locked with his when you say it, you will find significant pleasure in their reactions. You’ll recognize that you’ve charged them up with new pleasure and perhaps fascination in you. When a woman makes a man feel fantastic about himself, she assumes an aura of respectability that modern women lack.

What’s the effect on him? Think it through. You just convinced one man that ladies have standards up to which a man can easily find success, can find pleasure doing for others. To be more significant, to find more self-admiration, he only needs to please more women. How can that not be good? How can that not enhance the importance of a woman?

If you recall their natures, women are born to be good and men to do good. But women have to determine what is good for men to do. When men determine what is good, women find it mostly ‘ungood’ for them.

If women are ever to stop or even slow modern society’s slide from goodness toward evil, they must let men know that female standards not only exist but need to be honored. The way to gain honor is to encourage men to do good, specifically do what women expect. The simple “Men are never more handsome…” can jumpstart any woman’s contribution to pleasing men by pleasing herself to please men in ways that benefit Womanhood.

30 Comments

Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, How she wins, Sociology 101

30 responses to “2506. Men are Never More Handsome…. A Revisit

  1. Femme

    Sir Guy,
    modern men not only don’t want to please women, they don’t deem it necessary – for some reason.
    Perhaps it’s because there are women who would be offended if offered a seat or opened doors for (I’ve heard some women say it’s against equality!).
    I for one would love for more men to open doors for me and let me go on the bus first, for example, instead of stepping on my toes in an attempt to grab a seat.
    If a man pushes in a queue in front of me, even if he arrived after me to the bus stop, he instantaneously becomes less attractive, irrespective of how he looks.
    You say if a man does something that he considers his obligation, he doesn’t expect to be thanked for it – hence the indirect and somewhat lengthy compliment is supposed to work best.
    So I’m assuming men who have been complimented in this way, will do it even more often and be more eager next time. Ok.
    But that won’t necessarily increase the AMOUNT of men who are happy to please women?
    Unless they share with friends…
    Also, I honestly can’t imagine myself saying something like that to a complete stranger.
    I would feel silly and kind of theatrical.
    I would also be scared they would think I’m mad, or have an agenda.

    • Sarina

      Femme, women are being brainwashed to think any sort of positive word that a man directs towards a woman has sexual undertones. Women then become wary and hateful cause ‘oh, those perverts’.. That’s the mentality and it spreads, but ‘is it worth it’? to be always on guard and hateful of men and always analysing every word that doesn’t seem ‘female-approved’? The biggest mistake women make nowadays is pressuring men to think like women and make them conform to feminist values as if they’re the absolute truth. People should think more about the male reasoning, but many feminist activists are selfish, they only care about their own opinions and feelings,

      • Femme

        Hi Lady Sarina,
        we are pressured into believing there are no differences between the sexes, and men are expected to think like females and they never will, but will pretend to go along to make lives easier for themselves.
        I admit to disliking men who are not being themselves but instead politically correct – I feel I cannot trust them.
        Women became wary and hateful because guys behave disrespectfully these days, but then they do it because we’ve let them…Vicious circle.
        But what I meant was that I would find it extremely difficult to look a strange man in the eye and express my gratitude in the way Sir Guy suggests…
        NOT because I think Sir Guy is wrong but because I would be afraid that the man would think I’m crazy.
        To be honest I don’t even know why I care what the man would think… As long as I’m clear about my own intentions.

  2. Indirectness is powerful. I have seen it at work, even in pre-teen males.

    Two neighbor kids, brothers eleven and twelve, have started doing chores for me, pulling weeds and stuff, to earn money. Their first work day, they goofed off a lot.

    Week by week they have goofed off less and done more.

    One brother is fairly steady and willing to do what needs to be done, even if it requires a little more effort than he originally anticipated. The other brother tends to look for ways to avoid effort.

    I asked them to pull grass out of a flower bed, and he asked if I had scissors to cut things off at ground level. I bent down and started pulling things out with my fingers. I said, “I heard somewhere that a man can always figure out how to do something that needs to be done.”

    I stood up and was less indirect. I said, “God made you men. He gave you a brain and muscles and fingers. I believe in you. I know you can do this.”

    I went inside and looked through the window. Both brothers looked as if they were actually working hard. And by golly, I got my flower bed weeded better than I could have done and in much less time.

    One thing though. As an adult, I have never ever been able to look anyone in the eye deliberately, male or female. I had it drummed into me as a child that staring–which I did a lot–was rude.

    I can praise, directly and indirectly, but I cannot deliberately look people in the eye.

    • jubilee

      GOOD FOR YOU… boys NEED THIS….
      and the culture isn’t helping them..
      they need to be told gently that they are MEN

      • jubilee

        THIS being ‘INDIRECT’ is what i have been telling some women on how to get along with men. and not direct like men, unless they want to attract Mr “Vague and Unavailable”
        Women are the superior sex like SIR GUY says..

        • I definitely understand the value of indirectness NOW. I just wonder where I ever got the idea that men don’t like women to beat around the bush.

          I think the classic example is a man buying a gift for a woman for a birthday or anniversary. I have read any number of places that unless a woman states clearly in advance of a particular occasion what it is she wants, that a man will either forget, misread her hints, or buy her some awful thing like a power saw.

  3. prettybeans

    Oh Sir!

    Truly you have never been more handsome than you are now for putting this huge smile on my face first thing in the morning!! 🙂

    Happy Day

  4. Sarina

    We need alternatives. Since I started following this blog, I really wanted to implement this, but it’s really embarrassing how it translates into my language..I would seem confusing and.incredibly ridiculous to make this sort of statement in public. Well done to brave women who can do it, wish I could also be that determined.

    • Thankful

      Perhaps if we are building femininity and being counter-intuitive towards our culture(s) the first step (up) in saying, “Men are never more handsome when …” will be a push. (The only person I have said it to was a five year old who pushed his chest out and gave me the most thoughtful, beguiling look I have ever seen on his wee face.) I’m still building myself up to do this as it seems just as you say Sarina. But surely it will get easier and surely it is never more needed. The alternative would be a frightening waste of life.

      • Even wee, as Robert Burns would say, “A man’s a man for a’ that.”

        • jubilee

          funny thing about KILTS:
          … on the surface, they look like ‘WOMEN’S WEAR’
          but they are totally different since women don’t wear them In SCOTLAND, or what i’ve heard….
          and most kilts have tartans, NOT just one color

          • As a woman of Scotch-Irish heritage, I know that a kilt is not a skirt, and it is not to be worn by women.

            There is a verb, “to kilt,” which means to fold in vertical pleats. So the pleated plaid skirts I wore in junior high were “kilted” skirts, not kilts.

            It’s fussy and nit-picky, right? But oh, how heart-melty a woman can get by allowing traditions to be traditions.

  5. Miss Gina

    Dear Sir Guy,

    Is it ok for married ladies to say this?

    Your Highness Miss Gina,
    Why not? Unless hubby sees you and says don’t do that again.
    You’re not hitting on the guy. Even if he takes it that way, a serious stare or something else you know about dismissing a guy, will dispose of such a thought in his head. Your gratefulness has still been indirectly expressed, and so your obligation is satisfied in a very proper and high sounding way. He is confirmed that he did the right thing in the first place, fulfilled his duty, and pleased himself for doing it and pleased you above and beyond the usual. Mutual respect is rooted in such respectful behavior.
    Guy

  6. Miss Gina

    To the ladies having trouble saying this to strangers…Why not start with what you *can* say–even if just a thank you while meeting their eyes? You can always figure out an alternative that works for you, or work up to Sir Guy’s version. *Anything* pleasant that you say while making eye contact will be some reward, and far better than condemnation that femihags have no fear at all to dump on gentlemen.

    • Femme

      Ha!
      Miss Gina, it’s the eye contact that I’m having trouble with.
      If on top of eye contact I would have to pause, turn my body towards a man and say a whole sentence, it could end up in an embarrassment…
      I think the issue is I don’t like drawing attention to myself. Especially male attention.
      So I usually say “thank you” quickly without eye contact.

      Your Highness Femme,

      Don’t take this as criticism, it is only defining the male and female natures as they interact more successfully and not just when trying to show gratitude.

      Never let a man see your fear of him; you may be scared witless but fake it that you’re not. Fakery of confidence adds boldness and vice versa. It’s the only way that women can learn to govern male dominance acceptably in order to sometimes get their way, when they are the most deserving. Why should men always get their way, women have interests too. Love is never enough.

      You can practice with strangers too. Action cures fear.

      Guy

  7. Oh, wow. Today was a day to use indirectness.

    The young men (eleven and twelve) who have started doing chores for me did not show up at their usual time. They showed up as I was in the middle of preparing for a shopping expedition to a garden center. I said I expected them at their usual time, and when they didn’t show, I assumed they were doing something else. I said I didn’t have time today but they could come back next Saturday.

    They both were unhappy; they expected they’d be able to get some spending money quickly.

    The one who tends to make excuses and drag his feet and complain about EVERYTHING said they didn’t show up as usual because they got to bed late and slept in. I snapped back, “I got to bed late, and I got up at 5:30.”

    Oops.

    Then I said, “Let me back up. I assumed you were going to show up at the time you’ve showed up so far. i apologize for making a wrong assumption and for not being specific.”

    Then we negotiated. Come next Saturday between twelve and twelve-thirty. Call me Friday night by seven if you’re not coming. Okay? Sure.

    Then the complainer said, “Can I have a glass of water?”

    I said, “Do you need a glass of water?”

    “Yes.” I saw this as a passive-aggressive way of offloading some of his annoyance by making me annoyed.

    Could not find plastic cups in the kitchen. Served water in two large plastic yogurt containers. Said they could take them home, put them in the trash, whatever.

    Later after going to a garden center (which was another opportunity to use indirectness VERY successfully with the driver), I came home to discover one of the yogurt containers sitting on a tree stump in my yard. Hmmm.

    More indirectness will be necessary in the future, I’m pretty sure.

  8. Kay

    Edith, keep us posted on these two boys. Entertaining and very interesting..
    Their suggestion to use scissors instead of pulling the weeds out by hand cracked me up. Curious how this story will progress and if you know the parents.

  9. anonymous

    This post is the best explanation of “men are never more handsome” yet!

  10. Maddy

    Hi Sir Guy

    I have a question about gifts for husband. I saw something he would REALLY like on sale and I bought it. He’s been doing a lot of maintenance jobs around the house, helping my parents out with their repair jobs and always being available to meet up with my friends for meals and catch ups.

    I want to give this gift to him but not sure what is the best/most appropriate way to?

    Eager for any advice from you or the ladies
    Maddy

    Your Highness Maddy,

    I like this style. Give the gift and say, Men are never more handsome than when they help my parents.

    (Handsome is as handsome does, to paraphrase Forrest Gump’s mother.)

    Guy

  11. Dear Sir Guy,
    Thoughts on using this over and over to hubby? Will he get bored of it or find it fakey? Or can it blossom into a go-to expression?
    Caitlin

    Your Highness Caitlin,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    If you always use it the same, he may become bored. With imagination, you can vary time, effort, occasion, and method to keep it appealing and sufficiently interesting that it may cause further and perhaps deeper interaction. The primary purpose is to thank him without saying thank you for things he considers his duty and that, in his eyes, do not require your appreciation. A man satisfies himself when he does what HE considers his duty.

    Guy

  12. Sir Guy, I finally worked up the nerve to say this to someone other than my husband. I was unloading my grocery cart at the cash register while holding my daughter in one arm. The man behind us offered to help. I accepted and when the task was complete I told him, “thank you sir, men are never more handsome than when they help a lady with a baby”. I was embarrassed and I definitely need practice, but I have to start somewhere, right?

    Also, I thought you might be interested to hear the next chapter of this faithful reader’s WWNH-inspired journey: I finally mustered the courage to officially quit medical school last week. When I informed dear husband that I quit he exclaimed, “Finally! I’ve been telling you to quit for years!” and brought me flowers the following day. What a guy. He makes less $ than I would’ve as an attending physician. Even though we will live much more modestly, I prefer it this way. I think I would’ve lost respect for him not being the breadwinner and he would’ve resented me for stealing his role. Unfortunately I have so much student debt that I still have to work in order to pay my loans. But, it’s not the same as having an all-encompassing career and it won’t be forever. As soon as my loans are paid down to a manageable amount I will be a SAHM. I think I always knew that’s what I wanted to be–but was too afraid others wouldn’t value me if that’s “all” I did. Feminist brainwashing. Better to escape late than never 🙂

    Your Highness Anonymous,
    Was the guy at the cash register pleased with the surprise?
    Second paragraph is a joy to read, so much wisdom accumulated over a few years.
    Guy

    • msarianne

      I just want to say anonymous that you already have the toughest and most rewarding job in the world. ..that of being mommy. No one should ever belittle that.
      May your marriage thrive and husband love you more for not taking his duty and male pride away.
      Love
      Ari

    • Wow. I am so in awe. I am so in awe. To follow the path you believe is right for yourself AND others . . . not just the path for yourself . . . is so counter to what our culture preaches and so in line with the principles that truly make life living. Hooray for you!

    • I think he was part pleasantly surprised and part weirded out. I think he would’ve been less weirded out if my delivery had been better (more confidence). I’ll just have to practice more 🙂

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