NOTE: I was wrong yesterday, miscounted. This is the most popular article ever, posted in February 2011. Yesterday’s post, Exotic vs. ‘The Girl Next Door’ is in second place.
Teasing makes a woman smile and thereby prettier. Flirting makes a woman show an interest in the face that makes her highly attractive. Those results reward men. They feel good for having energized her that way.
Men test at flirting and play at teasing to confirm that their ability to attract female attention doesn’t wane. God designed, Nature endows, and hormones energize them for life. Real men do both but you’ll notice that young men flirt more and old men tease more. They all need confirmation when opportunities arise to prove their ability. Or, they just want to feel good.
Women know how to read it when men flirt and tease. But modern women are sometimes wrong, take the simple way out, and seem to have lost the art of taking advantage.
Men flirt and tease for two reasons that sometimes combine into a third. They want to feel good. They want something from a woman. They want both. All are natural to the male nature but women doubt the first reason can ever be exclusive or sincere.
The feminine nature intuitively knows when a man flirts or teases as lead-in to getting something from her. Females learn early in life to both spot and deal with it.
The womanly dilemma comes when a man’s motivation is not so obvious. She can’t really tell if he wants something, but she suspects it and acts accordingly. Modern women consequently consider all flirting and teasing as early warning sign of invitation to sex. They miss much of the fun of life among two genders.
Many married men tease and some even flirt. With good cause, wives object to husband flirting. With poor cause, women profile men—married, single, and old—as always in pursuit of sex. Many more honorable married men exist than credited among women.
Women have an innate bias against teasing and flirting. Emotional fidelity means more to women than sexual fidelity. They see emotional infidelity as precursor to unfaithfulness and both as threat of abandonment.
Not so with men. They believe sexual fidelity is everything. Emotional infidelity is neither perceivable nor all that important unless it leads to sexual infidelity.
More realistic judgments can provide more fun in our two-gender life. Women can have more fun if they can moderate their doubts about men and credit them with more honorable if not totally innocent motivations.
P.S. Personal story. I’m 85, she was in her forties. She takes my toll on the WV Turnpike. I offer my routine greeting to women, “Hello, your highness.” She reacts with a radiant smile. I respond with, “Wow, I could chase that smile to find out if I’m young enough.” She responded with bigger smile and, “I’d let you.” I sure felt good the rest of the day. She’s probably also happily talking about it.