2510. Mr. Right Ain’t What Young Gals Think

A young woman dreams of and wrongly seeks Mr. Right. I say wrongly because she bypasses a deep screening of his worth to her. She just guesses about his intentions, he likely has to earn little to conquer her, and she will find he is someone else after that momentous event—perhaps that she’s not the keeper she dreamed of becoming.

If she acknowledges a man as her Mr. Right, her emotions make her heart flutter in the wrong way at the wrong time. Simply calling a man Mr. Right leads her to make many mistakes so she won’t lose him, but it happens anyway sooner or later and perhaps after marriage.

It’s not the guy either; her immediate willingness to commit and not lose him strikes a heart filled with too much infatuation. She too easily reverts to immature thoughts and adolescent-think that make her try too hard to be liked. It doesn’t work except by her yielding early sex and winning him temporarily.

If she craves fun, sex, games, and pleasure as her main interest to please him, she might think of a short marriage at best and none at worst. Romantic love fades in a year or two, but she expects it to continue. With childish infatuation she programmed herself for it to continue forever. She begins to detect undesirable changes in their relationship. She then tries too hard, feels desperate, and acts immature and superficial, and he becomes unworthy of her devotion.

It happens because men may like sex and fun, but they don’t marry for life the woman who lives that way. If not reality, her actions symbolize promiscuity and men seek to marry a virtuous woman. Mutual romantic love kept it hidden for a couple of years, and enduring love never developed. Now, she faces the error of her ways, if not before.

If she captured him, Mr. Right probably didn’t completely buy into her. Romantic love perhaps, but no devotion. Women like to talk. Men are not all that fond of listening to conquered women. She does best who learns to keep her talk interesting to him and try her best not to interrupt his thoughts. It’s not her, but him. Interrupting his thoughts show disrespect for who he is, albeit subliminal. It’s a natural conqueror’s right that loses its importance when she learns to be careful and considerate, or she took the time to allow his devotion to develop.

Not devoted to her, Mr. Right is sensitive to unlikeable behavior. The female nature guides a woman to cooperate with her man. He’s the competitor by nature and she’s not. However, situations cause women to get in husband’s face, argue to no end, and hope to put him down or embarrass him. It’s no good, ever.

Oh, she may win her battle or even deserve some revenge. But his male nature advises him not to take it for three reasons: 1) She may be right and thus beat him, and no self-respecting man loses to a woman. 2) Conqueror’s right ‘bought’ her cooperation and she lost her right to compete by his now ‘owning her’. 3) She’s very unlikeable as a mate when she fights against him, and loss of likeability reduces whatever of Mr. Right’s love has developed and short circuits his desire to stay with her.

There is only a Mr. Good Enough for the woman seeking a lifetime marriage, which means that he was well screened as worthy of her. An all important issue impacts whether he will ever become her knight in shining armor. Before his conquest, she’s in competitive mode and can convince him of how she lives and expects to continue in married life. She best lays the groundwork for submission during courtship, because after they marry, she has only what she negotiates and free will as defense. She has to think ahead to win the ability to make sound judgments where and with whom her benefits and advantages begin and end.

Mr. Right will likely arrive later in their marriage, if she begins with Mr. Good Enough. Lo and behold, within their relationship made happy by how she harmonized it over a couple decades, hubby becomes Mr. Right as her long hoped-for knight on white charger. How could she have lived without him?

As part of the female nature, and I think designed that way, women receive their most glorious rewards late in life for the good life they have led. OTOH, men receive their rewards early in life, and not necessarily for living the good life. They seldom  acknowledge their satisfaction after many years of a good marriage, except when someone else brings it up and they can pass credit to their wife. After the midlife crisis, they can do it easily, but even then they usually don’t initiate such an admission. The most devoted men, however, find it easy to admit, which speaks well of her harmonizing their home and satisfying her man. Mr. Right is the finest tribute to her handiwork, when she ends rather than tries to start with him.

Note: If you seek more on the subject, five other articles have Mr. Right in the title on the CONTENT page.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences

18 responses to “2510. Mr. Right Ain’t What Young Gals Think

  1. My Husband's Wife

    Really good, important article. Another one to bookmark for later recall!

    This is exactly what’s happening in a lot of cases: “If she craves fun, sex, games, and pleasure as her main interest to please him, she might think of a short marriage at best and none at worst.”

    In looking at the root of “where does this craving fun, sex, games, and pleasure come from”— girls/women are getting a BIG push from the media / culture encouraging such childish behavior.

    I don’t know if any one here has run across this, but there is now a movie out called “Bad Moms.” It’s the typical garbage of today showing single moms tired of being “super mom” (putting down home schoolers + healthy food, etc.) and deciding they deserve to go out and party. Sure these movies have existed for a while now, but what is more disturbing is that the movie sets up an adjacent site on HOW to be a “Bad Mom” which includes drinking games, instructions for putting together your night out with friends, posting your “bad mom” moment, etc. It’s like they’re trying to make a cultural movement out of this movie which I find troublesome as it takes the propaganda to a whole new level. You don’t just view it, you’re encouraged to act it out.

    This is another aspect of the feminist agenda: it’s great at telling women to follow every selfish desire they have…because they deserve it. So thus, we have many who do just what this article describes. It’s so counter to the feminine spirit as we are happy when we are content with what we have and giving to/caring for others.

    All I could think of after seeing this movie/movement was that the Cultural Marxists WANT society to remain in arrested development. Pleasure-seeking adultolescents (I love that term) who rely on the government to be their daddy. I see this also with the Pokeman Go craze. You have grown adults running around looking for virtual monsters to the point of causing accidents.

    The brilliance of cultural marxism is that you get people to enslave themselves. Sure those in control set the stage, but the people then have to make the ultimate decision to act which makes a society complicit. The anecdote to all this is so simple: don’t fall for it, do what’s right, don’t enslave yourself. What if we turned off their crap, stayed out of debt, kept ourselves physically and mentally healthy, read WWNH 😉 and kept our families together, etc. despite the propaganda?

    Your Highness My Husband’s Wife,
    Brilliant write-up. Thank you. Wish I had said this, “The brilliance of cultural marxism is that you get people to enslave themselves.” (When I use it, hope I remember to give you credit.)

    • anon...

      many adultolescent women are in their 40s at this time
      its really annoying…. but their bodies aren’t young

    • Miss Gina

      Dear Lady MHW,

      Brilliant. And Casey Anthony would be the poster mom for this movement. I think we need a countermovement exposing this kind of thing for what it is and heaping shame on it, while supporting “Good Moms.”

      • My Husband's Wife

        Dear Miss Gina,

        I was thinking exactly the same thing about a movement of sorts. I know so many of us are passionate about these things and would like to help others and further connect with like-minded people. Not sure how or what that would look like, but if you or anyone else has any ideas…

        Your Highness My Husband’s Wife and Miss Gina,

        Not only do I agree the need for a countermovement, I pray daily for it.

        You ladies had better get moving. 1) Time is fast running out. 2) The trend toward the burqa speeds up daily as Christians walk away from both Christianity and the constitution. 3) There is little hope when wifely leadership is absent. 4) I will help anyway I can in the background, including devotion of blog space and effort.

        The political greatness of this country was built by the superior gender. All for political purpose, Feminism destroyed the superiority of wifely governance of culture and home and their indirect influence of husbands in workplace and society. Divide the family and politics can prevail, because wives are made impotent.

        Radical lesbians did it because hetero women believe and prefer to live with principle that trump politics, rule of law overrides rule of man, evil must bow to good, and morality is the work of women.

        A united womanhood has always been the only solution for turning America around and back to what we once knew. Men have no united interest in doing so; they seek only to keep up with the ever-changing power imbalances, which means they let politics trump principles as necessary to survive in their minds eye.


        • Cinnamon

          Agree with the sentiments expressed here. I am way behind on catching up with WWNH content from the last few weeks so will be brief but I wanted to say this is a very important idea. I would like very much to be involved but at the moment have very little time to devote to such a project (although this may change in the coming months), but would help in any way I could in getting this off the ground, and if time allows would be interested in being very involved. In fact last year I put out some initial feelers along the same lines but these efforts fell flat so I shelved the idea.

          I think the most important thing to do initially is for a few of us to talk behind the scenes via email in order to brainstorm. I have a few ideas and others will have them as well. Sir Guy has my email address and if the two of you wish to write to him I have no doubt he will be kind enough to forward mine on to you so we can correspond and try to talk through some ideas. I am particularly interested in finding ways to reach young women (and all single women, actually) with the information presented at WWNH to counter the propaganda that saturates their lives.

          All ventures like this require community-building, as a foundation, something that is tough work, painstaking at times in fact, even with likeminded people who share common objectives. To succeed requires strong conviction and common goals coupled with extraordinary powers of leadership and, most importantly, people who will park their egos at the door and are willing to sacrifice for a higher good with dogged persistence – a tall order to say the least. I do think the foundations of this are already here. Finally, I have somewhat of a background in grassroots community development and can bring that experience to the table. Thank you Sir Guy for your offer of support in this regard, in addition to all the inspiration you continue to provide us with daily – although it’s been said many times before, we really do love you.

          • Miss Gina

            I think the very best way to start a movement is to raise a large family, heavily indoctrinated with the truth! I was amused but later came to respect the aspiration of a homeschooling father of 10 who wanted to have 100 grandchildren. What a legacy of influence, built in only about 40 years. (And by that time, he’d be on his way to 1000 great-grandchildren, as well!)

            This is a stated plan for Islamic domination of new lands, and it is already working among other non-Christian populations in the country. How much more can it work for God’s people?

            But yes, we must work now, also.

            I am currently doing all that I can, with my family commitments. My prayers, my time on social media (here and on other comment venues, as well as doing some more intensive mentoring on a social media group with similar goals) is my contribution.

            I believe “keeping the peace” by not rocking the boat has been our downfall thus far. It is time for every one of us to become a “Milo Yiannopoulos,” smart, educated, and willing to challenge cultural Marxism head-on. It will run off with its tail between its legs, every time, if we will but stand up to it and expose it. It is time for each one of us to take responsibility to reach the sphere of influence we have and stop waiting for celebrities or “someone else” to do it. We might lose a few social media or real life “friends,” but we will win many people over in time.

            Each person will have a way of doing it…one gentleman I know, for instance. has to keep his social media profiles fairly neutral because of his work, but he manages to slip in a thought-provoking article here and there, or to pose a challenging question on an issue of the day. He makes his hay by often engaging people intelligently one-on-one, asking lots of questions rather than lecturing.

            My comment about starting a movement that disdains the party animal, baby-momma mentality really refers to myself showing more explicit emotion in my interactions on the subject…How truly disgusting is that kind of life, anyway? …or of course anyone else who would feel inclined to start vocally supporting the women who already silently sacrifice for their families (millions of them exist in the US) while condemning every influence that would seek to promote irresponsible lifestyles.

            Women setting standards for the culture are the most powerful people in that culture…far more powerful than those women who are simply swallowing standards set by others…At least that’s what a wise man once told me. 😉 The leftist influences are actually flimsy facades propped up with paid demonstrators and paid social media commenters, like the man behind the curtain in “The Wizard of Oz..” They cannot possibly stand up to the slightest pushback from the truth. We are each far more powerful than we know when we speak truth in our sphere of influence.

            I would be happy to indirectly support work that anyone might feel called to that would go more intensively in this direction. I think to a great degree, we are all called to it as a life’s work in some form.

            • My Husband's Wife

              Thank you for your thoughts on this and I’m in 200% agreement with you, the wise lady you are! I appreciate the reminder that continuing to simply do and be good to those who have been placed around us is the best movement. It’s silent, humble and one doesn’t get a lot of accolades—but it’s how God works through us to provide and love others in our daily lives. In a way, it’s too boring and not glamorous enough some would say.

              And I especially like what you wrote about the flimsy facades propped up and paid for by the leftists. Since these crazy ideas are contrary to the Truth and natural law, they have to manufacture the movements using any minority group as proxy warriors to get their way. Many now are seeing the “man behind the curtain” and once he’s exposed, not so scary and pretty much loses power.

            • Cinnamon

              Miss Gina,

              Apologies for getting the wrong end of the stick – I did not articulate my point well at all, however, and would like to clarify a bit: the Left, although smaller in number, is winning the war to destroy Western Culture because they are networked and organised whereas conservatives are not; this has been going on for many decades and goes way beyond today’s Soros rent-a-mobs. If conservatives don’t co-opt some of the Left’s tactics and take this battle to the public square we will be destroyed by the power of those tactics in the hands of our enemies, who are unified by a single common objective: destruction of the Judeo-Christian West.

              By networking and organising I mean something separate from and in addition to (not as a replacement for) the kinds of extremely important things you so eloquently describe about the “sphere of influence.” With that said, I do think conservatives have a tendency to be inward-looking and that this will be our civilization’s downfall, far more quickly than most living today in what someone recently referred to as “the last Christian generation” in the West actually realise. But I’m getting way off topic now. I don’t intend on revisiting this subject again here at WWNH.

              Your Highness Cinnamon,

              Please! Do not withdraw from such comments on this blog. You write extremely well and describe exactly what women never hear. Feel free to contribute, as I would like to see far more of your kind of thinking posted here.

              In fact, you write them, and I’ll post them as daily articles. We need to get your words into the hands of others before it is too late.


              • Meow Meow

                Hi Cinnamon,
                do you think the Left is really smaller in number? Maybe when I was growing up I thought so but now I can’t say that I do. Bernie Sanders almost won the Democratic nomination basically by promising tons of freebies…..Not only the media but most families/young people today on both coasts lean leftward…and I could be wrong, but I think more and more of the population lives coastally. Certainly the media slants left for the most part, but I now believe that they truly are reflecting the current population. I know very, very few people who identify as conservative today. I identify as left wing on many issues: but it used to seem to me that there was more of a common ground between the parties, not such extremes….two different ideas of the future of America, but both understandable. Now things are so amped up both political parties (including my own) seem like they are from other bizarre planets to me.

              • Miss Gina

                Dear Lady Cinnamon,

                I understand what you are describing. I have been involved in leading such organizing in the past in more than one venue and think it is important. It is not currently where God has me, though. It was not my intention to imply that this kind of thing is not worthwhile. I think it can be in the right context. However, I think the setup most practical for most people over the long term is for each of us to find the balance of working through our spheres of influence and some kind of personal outreach. Mothers and wives can be the foundations, support, and inspiration to amazing things for our own family members…any of us could end up building someone around us into a judge, legislator, governor, president, entrepreneur, inventor, author…there is tremendous need for this kind of solid backing on our side. Also, I believe it is easy for us to think that those things going on in the spotlight are those that have the greatest effect. You don’t seem to be that type of person, but I have heard it so much that I felt I should mention it. Of course the other can be vital…If I am not mistaken, Lady Not12many who used to be regular on here has had some dealings with the kind of thing you mention, and she also is raising a large family, if they are not all grown yet. My thought on this is that God does not work as man does, and so it is very important for each of us to know very clearly what our stations are and man those places faithfully, rather than to set ourselves up reflecting the strategy and tactics of our enemies–unless told to do so. As much urgency as we feel to act (and justifiably so), it is vital to be in touch with His leading. The spiritual opposition can be tremendous, and it will wear one out quickly who isn’t operating exactly as God directs. He commands angel armies and can turn circumstances on a dime, using the most unlikely methods. However, any one of us may find ourselves a Gideon or an Esther raised up for such a time as this…I am probably not saying anything you don’t already know. You have a good head on your shoulders and would make a success out of anything you started. If you are being led, go for it…😄

              • Cinnamon

                Thanks for your kind words of encouragement, Sir Guy.

              • Cinnamon

                Meow Meow,
                You raise some really interesting points that are impossible to address adequately in a short blog comment. Yes, I do think in the U.S. the left is smaller than the right, but I could be wrong. America is a big place. People who live in leftist enclaves like Portland or NYC will have a different perspective on this than someone who lives in Topeka, Kansas. Moreover, the media is a propaganda tool for the left, and this 24×7 noise distorts our perceptions.

                I think many Americans who identify as liberal do so mainly on social issues, and largely out of ignorance, and in some cases in an effort to gain social approval (google “virtue signalling”). If they knew the true Globalist agenda of the Left (and this includes RINOs – the republican/democrat paradigm is an illusion in my view) they would reject candidates like Hillary Clinton and Paul Ryan out of hand.

                As for Bernie supporters, I don’t read this as a that much of a negative. I like Bernie’s position on trade (TPP), outsourcing, and jobs. I believe most young people supported him for this reason, not for free stuff. But I have lived for long periods of time in both Europe and the U.S., and I don’t have the same knee-jerk negative reaction to all aspects of social democracy that a lot of Republicans do; being unemployed and without health insurance whilst living in the U.S. shaped my views on this issue to a significant degree (It caused me to go from being a proud, registered Republican to becoming an independent, for one.) Many Republicans sneer at Europe’s high taxes but would be surprised to learn that today most countries in Western Europe have a stronger and more stable middle-class and a much lower number of working poor than the U.S. does, mainly because job creation/education/entrepreneurship/retraining is very heavily subsidized through government programs. There is of course a dark side to social democracy, but I don’t deem it an obviously inferior system to the liberal democracy found today in America. With all that said, I am a patriot who loves America and believes it is the world’s greatest country.

                I mention just these few thoughts but it’s an extremely complex topic. to say the least.

              • Cinnamon

                Miss Gina,

                Your well-expressed comments have once again kindled in me further thoughts and a desire to clarify. I used the wrong terminology when I said that networking and organizing is a tactic of the left – it most certainly is not, as even the most cursory reflection on the life of master networker and organiser St Paul reveals. What the Left has done however is exploit this tactic to their advantage. Because so many on the Right have turned so far inward, the Right is unable to respond in kind and the Left runs roughshod over us.

                Although marriage, family, and homemaking are demeaned regularly by the Left this is not the case in conservative realms, at least in my experience. In fact, in many Christian circles today family life is elevated to such an excessive degree as to almost become an idol in itself. This elevation is not Biblical, although it is almost universally held in Christian women’s circles to be so. I’ve observed that the false idols of prosperity, consumerism, material comfort, and careerism (directed mainly toward husband and adult children) usually go hand in hand with this thinking. I see this trend as an example of the excessive individualism that both Tocqueville and Solzhenitsyn warned would become the gravest threat to American freedom.

                I wish I could say that building strong families is enough, but my view is that the wolf is now at the door and that Christians need to not only love our families as ourselves but to actually take a further step and start loving our neighbour as ourselves even when this requires great sacrifice. It means building genuine Christian community in whatever form that extends beyond our own families, and realising that consoling ourselves with fat bank balances and personal ambition achieved (whether for self/husband/children/grandchildren) will not prevent our grandchildren from becoming slaves.

                I say this all as a single woman with no children who although solvent has not been particularly successful in career/material terms and is now coming to the end of her earning years, so it may all be a product of begrudgery (or so I have been told on a few occasions) ergo I really have no right to be taken seriously – but I believe these observations harsh as they may be come from a deeper and more considered place than that.

    • Shana

      Hi MHW,

      Great comment! I have the same reaction when I see the trailer for “Bad Moms”. I also recall a movie recently…maybe last year, called “How To Be Single”. Same kinda garbage. The basic message seemed to be: you’re SUPPOSED to party every night, you’re SUPPOSED to sleep with multiple men, you’re SUPPOSED to do all sorts of un-ladylike things in the name of fun and being single….whooo hoooo.

      • My Husband's Wife

        Hello Shana! I hadn’t heard of the movie you mentioned, “How To Be Single” and looked it up. Wow, I’m amazed at how many levels of wrong and how childish/selfish all the characters behave.The one positive thing I see is that these movies aren’t getting great reviews.
        As one movie reviewer wrote: “Another movie for the bargain bin at WalMart” — more like the trash bin!

  2. Beloved

    You always say over a couple of decades as far as him turning into Mr. Right. What if he’s already older, like 40, does it still take that long?

    Your Highness Beloved,
    No, two decades is more symbolic than prediction. It does take a number of years to adjust everything into what to her is max gratitude for who she is and what she has with him. If he’s 40 now, she should be happy with him after the earthquake of his mid-life crisis passes in his fifties, presuming no issues but good compatible growth until then.

  3. Sarina

    Very important for a woman to not be selfish after marriage and be mindful of her husband. Women talk shows and therapists are poison cause they always make the woman feel like a victim ‘he doesn’t do this or that, you don’t get enough out of him’ etc. that sort of thinking complicates relationship with husband, but gratitude for what he is and her situation can change a woman’s mindset. I can tell you one of the hardest thing is to let a man alone in his thoughts when he’s not in a great mood..as a woman I feel the need to talk, to sort the puzzle, to know ‘what’s wrong’..
    Sir Guy, would you say it’s too much for a woman to keep a diary of what her man likes? I’m talking about upsetting moments, what made him annoyed, when he was smiling and for what reason, etc…I, for example, tend to repeat mistakes over and over again or I tend to forget about my wrongdoing..maybe it’s too extreme, I wanted an opinion.

    Your Highness Sarina,

    I think such a diary is a good idea. As a man not your own, I admire your spunk and development into a great wife.

    What you write down reinforces your memory. It enables you to review and reinforce it later. Hubby will certainly appreciate the results, I expect, provided you keep the diary private.

    He can’t be very satisfied with his role with you if he knows you’re recording his faults or even what he likes or expects. It’s like talking about him behind his back —even though your intentions are to make his life better. Remember, he’s born to think that he’s plenty good enough and not needful of upgrade, and perhaps even perfect for any woman he conquers. Of course, you and I know that it’s a front that any man must keep up until many years into marriage.


  4. “Mr. Right will likely arrive later in their marriage, if she begins with Mr. Good Enough. Lo and behold, within their relationship made happy by how she harmonized it over a couple decades, hubby becomes Mr. Right as her long hoped-for knight on white charger. How could she have lived without him?”

    This is so true! What wisdom is woven all through this post. I didn’t realize I’d married Mr Right until perhaps 20 years into marriage. It was like getting hit with a sledge hammer, as if to say, good grief I have lost my mind and fallen totally in love. I swear, I am worst than a teen ager to this day.

    So, there’s a cultural myth that marriage is the end or that people grow apart or that we just settle or something. Not at all, marriage can just get more and more amazing with each passing year.

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