A young woman dreams of and wrongly seeks Mr. Right. I say wrongly because she bypasses a deep screening of his worth to her. She just guesses about his intentions, he likely has to earn little to conquer her, and she will find he is someone else after that momentous event—perhaps that she’s not the keeper she dreamed of becoming.
If she acknowledges a man as her Mr. Right, her emotions make her heart flutter in the wrong way at the wrong time. Simply calling a man Mr. Right leads her to make many mistakes so she won’t lose him, but it happens anyway sooner or later and perhaps after marriage.
It’s not the guy either; her immediate willingness to commit and not lose him strikes a heart filled with too much infatuation. She too easily reverts to immature thoughts and adolescent-think that make her try too hard to be liked. It doesn’t work except by her yielding early sex and winning him temporarily.
If she craves fun, sex, games, and pleasure as her main interest to please him, she might think of a short marriage at best and none at worst. Romantic love fades in a year or two, but she expects it to continue. With childish infatuation she programmed herself for it to continue forever. She begins to detect undesirable changes in their relationship. She then tries too hard, feels desperate, and acts immature and superficial, and he becomes unworthy of her devotion.
It happens because men may like sex and fun, but they don’t marry for life the woman who lives that way. If not reality, her actions symbolize promiscuity and men seek to marry a virtuous woman. Mutual romantic love kept it hidden for a couple of years, and enduring love never developed. Now, she faces the error of her ways, if not before.
If she captured him, Mr. Right probably didn’t completely buy into her. Romantic love perhaps, but no devotion. Women like to talk. Men are not all that fond of listening to conquered women. She does best who learns to keep her talk interesting to him and try her best not to interrupt his thoughts. It’s not her, but him. Interrupting his thoughts show disrespect for who he is, albeit subliminal. It’s a natural conqueror’s right that loses its importance when she learns to be careful and considerate, or she took the time to allow his devotion to develop.
Not devoted to her, Mr. Right is sensitive to unlikeable behavior. The female nature guides a woman to cooperate with her man. He’s the competitor by nature and she’s not. However, situations cause women to get in husband’s face, argue to no end, and hope to put him down or embarrass him. It’s no good, ever.
Oh, she may win her battle or even deserve some revenge. But his male nature advises him not to take it for three reasons: 1) She may be right and thus beat him, and no self-respecting man loses to a woman. 2) Conqueror’s right ‘bought’ her cooperation and she lost her right to compete by his now ‘owning her’. 3) She’s very unlikeable as a mate when she fights against him, and loss of likeability reduces whatever of Mr. Right’s love has developed and short circuits his desire to stay with her.
There is only a Mr. Good Enough for the woman seeking a lifetime marriage, which means that he was well screened as worthy of her. An all important issue impacts whether he will ever become her knight in shining armor. Before his conquest, she’s in competitive mode and can convince him of how she lives and expects to continue in married life. She best lays the groundwork for submission during courtship, because after they marry, she has only what she negotiates and free will as defense. She has to think ahead to win the ability to make sound judgments where and with whom her benefits and advantages begin and end.
Mr. Right will likely arrive later in their marriage, if she begins with Mr. Good Enough. Lo and behold, within their relationship made happy by how she harmonized it over a couple decades, hubby becomes Mr. Right as her long hoped-for knight on white charger. How could she have lived without him?
As part of the female nature, and I think designed that way, women receive their most glorious rewards late in life for the good life they have led. OTOH, men receive their rewards early in life, and not necessarily for living the good life. They seldom acknowledge their satisfaction after many years of a good marriage, except when someone else brings it up and they can pass credit to their wife. After the midlife crisis, they can do it easily, but even then they usually don’t initiate such an admission. The most devoted men, however, find it easy to admit, which speaks well of her harmonizing their home and satisfying her man. Mr. Right is the finest tribute to her handiwork, when she ends rather than tries to start with him.
Note: If you seek more on the subject, five other articles have Mr. Right in the title on the CONTENT page.