Second step is ten descriptions of both the female and the male nature. Men are born:
- Without the ability to build or manage a relationship as can a woman. They are much like a loose cannon rolling around on deck of the relationship ship, but they frequently have to save face. Consequently, they shift much more easily from cooperation to competition than the reverse, but to their own disadvantage, as explained below.
- With a major shortcoming of which they are unaware but that helps breed compatibility. Men will compete with a woman for conquest but for nothing else or afterward. If they initiate or are pushed to compete, they change strategy and tactics to allow escape and ensure they do not lose. Their dominant nature fears losing to what the male nature perceives as an inferior person, but is a superior person that belief in dominance cannot recognize as such. Designed and even disguised by smoothness and patience, women operate cooperatively and avoid competitive encounters.
- Without realizing that the superior gender applies pressure to cooperate and naturally discourage competition within a relationship. However, one exception. More important is that women have to earn a man’s respect for his love to develop. Competition over conquest does it best, because for such a magnificent prize, a high price should be the goal of the owner and the male nature does not fear losing while attempting to win something so valuable.
- To love sex for the sake of sex, to love work for the sake of satisfaction, and to love a woman or women for the sake of convenience, comfort, and pleasure. Yep, loving more than one is possible. It makes a man’s quality of character vital in assessing the accuracy of his promises of commitment, loyalty, and longevity of marriage.
- With two love drives, one for the displaying of affection and sex, called devotion here, and the other for fulfillment of duty and responsibility, called bonded love here. The latter is the more consequential and lasting for successful marriage.
- With two sex drives, one for unconquered women and the other for those a man has conquered. His sex drive for unconquered women is independent of and is prioritized ahead of love, affection, and devotion. It fuels his persistence and enables him to conquer and dump a woman. His drive for conquered women is ‘normal’. It floats on dominance mixed with physiological, psychological, and convenient needs—aka, he only needs a place, she needs a reason.
- With the notion that conquest proves he is good enough for her and need not go further to win her for himself. He expects her complete cooperation, because yielding first sex proved that he is good enough for her. He effectively ‘owns’ her and is, therefore, eligible to reinstate his dominant nature previously made passive enough to conquer.
- To change dramatically after conquest, which forces her to change to compensate. He previously decided she was a keeper, good for booty, or fit for dumping, so he was probably also disingenuous or dishonest. Conqueror’s rights free him to rule their sexual agenda, exhibit ownership of their relationship, reinstate his dominant nature previously made passive to enable conquest, and also pursue another target for conquest— even if she is a keeper.
- With considerable self-respect that women lack at birth. It means that she must earn self-respect in life. Self-respect is how she grows to appreciate herself as a competent person, not just a woman or employee. More feminine competence breeds more self-respect, because her feminine side lifts her out of competition with males. Her self-respect improves as her interpersonal skills develop, her avoidance of competition with men develops and prevails (except for conquest), and relationship harmonizing improves.
- Lacking self-love that women possess in a huge amount. It means men must earn self-love in life. Self-love is how he likes himself as an appreciated person, man, and potential lover, which means the more others appreciate him and his relations with women, the greater his self-love. His earning more respect in those roles of life also earns more appreciation of others and grows his self-love.
The Bible says to spread love, but no one says to spread respect. New axiom: Men need more respect for self-love to grow. Women need more love for self-respect to grow. (To raise better children, the benefits should start spreading in toddlerhood where youthfulness acts as fertilizer. More love to girls and more respect to boys will likely turn out more mature adults.)