2550. Ten Steps To Win A Man’s Heart — Step 03: Principles re Love (I)

Third step: I will be posting about two dozen influences that impact every relationship in some way that a manager should recognize. She must convince herself to expect that the following principles will be naturally injected into her relationship whether she wants them or not. She should play and take advantage of each in any way that she can.

  1. A man cannot love a woman he does not respect, and she has the burden to earn it. Men consider female sexual assets as the grandest of possessions, but only their first sex together. After that she is another conquered woman. If men had something as valuable and desirable, they would not give it up except at a very high price.
  2. Men are born to dominate women, but women are the superior sex. They are born with special relationship skills lacking in men. Men are immovable objects. Women are an irresistible force; they are born with extra skills capable of moving obstinate men as each woman gains familiarity with her ability and masters the art of reading each male.
  3. On first encounter, a man expects to dominate the talk. He unloads what he has to offer her in hopes of selling himself. She does best to do the opposite. She is the buyer, and the buyer who discloses what she’s willing to pay will pay the highest price.
  4. Her relationship expertise enables a woman to overcome male dominance. However, strategic mistakes, such as premature yielding of their first sex together, weaken a woman’s superior expertise. So do tactical blunders, such as getting in his face. Disclosing who and what she is that she wants him to know. Too much nervousness that stimulates her continuous chattering. Not listening to his speechifying that emerge from his self-recognized super intellect. Disregarding his opinions and outlooks concerning the future he offers her. Interrupting and forcing him to distort his plan of attack. Offering her opinions, which are of no interest or relevance of where he’s trying to take their conversation. More effectively, her relative quiet stimulates a seller to keep trying to convince her of the worth of his product, which means she gains most by talking least.
  5. Two conquerors face off. The longer she delays conquest, the more of his high-quality respect she earns, and respect is the foundation of his hoped-for love.
  6. Conquerors have rights. Should she yield prematurely, he is good enough and now ‘owns’ her. Her right to compete against his conquering effort is gone. By proving himself good enough for her to yield, he is released without further burden. Competition for sex ceases, since he owns their sexual agenda. He may feel further obligated to her or not. Conquest is its own natural release back into hunter-conqueror mode and freedom and independence to pursue other targets.
  7. A man knows before conquest. Her worth after conquest is predetermined. She’s a keeper, booty, or dumpee. It is his nature more than her, and she should see it coming before conquest. Extensive dating sends her many hints of what to expect, of how he regards her as sex object or potential mate. To not be surprised calls for her greatest skill to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver a man, just to find out what to expect and the role she will fill if she does yield for his conquest.
  8. Men change dramatically after conquest in ways that do not promote marriage. Women respond in order to promote marriage. If she is a keeper in his eyes, it shifts them to renegotiating a relationship, albeit on friendly grounds. If successful, the woman remains in charge of continuing to manage the relationship.
  9. Both sexes compete with diligence to promote their own conquering agenda. If he wins, he dominates their later relationship. If she wins, she governs their lifetime relationship, because she held out until his devotion developed.
  10. She is the relationship expert; he knows nothing about it. To him, their relationship is either on or off, up or down, existing or dead. Her relationship management services are needed continuously.
  11. Two distinctly different promises exist; that which he sees in her and that which she promises for his life. Her promises actually work against her. They distract his attention from figuring out her and him living together. He trusts what he figures out, and distrusts the words of another. Again, it’s his nature. Even if she succeeds in talking him into marriage, it likely will not last.

Adopting the strategy of virtual virginity offers the greatest strength to counter and delay his competitive determination to conquer her. Virtual virginity means to remain unconquerable before marriage, even though she may have previously been married or even promiscuous. If a woman decides to use the VV strategy, she inherited at birth the determination and wisdom to sustain it. Her reason to remain sexually inactive with him may be moral, religious, or personal taste. If, however, he will not honor her decision to remain chaste, he does not love her enough, will not honor other requests should they marry, and is probably after sex more than her. Note well, her reasons to support chasteness should always be for something higher than herself and never to ‘save’ herself for her husband. And she should never say she is ‘holding herselffor her husband; it kills a man’s hope and gives him info he can use against her.


Filed under courtship, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2 responses to “2550. Ten Steps To Win A Man’s Heart — Step 03: Principles re Love (I)

  1. Femme

    Dear Sir Guy,
    This is an excellent series!!!
    Why does a woman saying she is holding herself for her husband kill a man’s hope?

    Your Highness Femme,
    Because a man does not chase marriage, he chases conquest. If she’s dedicated to wait for marriage, he’s discouraged and hope dwindles with each encounter and her determination to refuse. Hope would remain if she had never said she was saving for husband.

  2. I assume that most of the time when men chasing conquest is mentioned, it is in the service of a generic view of men and why they treat women as they do.

    As someone who came to the Christian worldview late in college, I certainly experienced a lot of the tug-of-war that occurs when a young man is trying to win the battle of the sexes his way, and a young woman is trying to win the battle of the sexes in her way.

    I was enough of a tree-hugger by then that I supported having freedom to love and be loved as men did/do. But the reality was that, even if I chanted that “all you need is love” and not a marriage license, free love meant unfettered rapture, but in a monogamous, exclusive, “baby, you’re the only woman I need” way.

    As a young Christian, I often found myself rolling my eyes at other young women who were busy learning to bake cookies and be “traditional” girls. It all seemed so fake.

    But I was seriously astounded by young men who spoke about how much they wanted to get married. I was gob-smacked when first one, then another, then another of my roommates met guys, went out with them, got engaged, and then got married.

    One roommate was married within six months of meeting her husband. Another roommate took longer; she and her husband started dating junior year and got married a year after graduation. The third roommate met and married her husband the year after graduation.

    All these young men professed faith in Christ and were all very determined to find someone and MARRY her. Not live with her, MARRY her.

    Now, i don’t know how much of sexual hijinks any of them experienced with each other before they tied the knot, but the MALE assertion over and over, something I heard with my own ears, was, “I want to get married.”

    Not “I want to find a woman who will play non-pregnancy-inducing sex games with me until I can get a job and can afford a wife . . . or until I find someone who’s more interesting.”

    It was meeting, dating, mating. Boom! Done! And it was a man-driven agenda, not one women had to manipulate.

    According to a lot that has been said in this blog, that is not the way it goes, but it was the way it went within the Christian community I was part of.

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