Tenth step but it’s the most important: This step is all about what she does to make herself worthy of being won and kept as girlfriend or wife. After all, a man first has to want her and then want to keep her. Seeking to marry a virtuous woman, he uncovers virtue in each of her admirable qualities, but she has to know how to exhibit herself effectively, how to out-unique all those other dolls.
Women should restudy the preceding nine steps and work them gingerly into one integrated circuit that matches up masculine expectations with female hopes and dreams. She’s in charge, as men have little or no interest in doing that.
But it goes deeper, she’s in charge of her appearance and character first and foremost. He looks for uniqueness and quality. So, she has to be a good woman out to make herself better. One so uniquely worthy that a man is inspired to go far out of his way to court and marry her with self-promised intention of keeping himself within marital borders. The greater her virtuous uniqueness, the greater his desire to have her for his own.
She accomplishes all that with two major objectives. Be virtuously good in and of herself, and then manage the process of doing good for, by, and with him. Men are not born to DO good but have only the ability. They need coaching and are willing to be inspired by a good woman to DO much better than their nature motivates them. In spite of appearances to the contrary, men are eager to DO good when they see it earn admiration of the other gender.
Born to BE good, a woman instinctively adopts and intuitively lives by the qualities her man consider virtues. She does best by exploiting what he considers her best. Doing what he hopes to see in his mate, she convinces him that he can do better as man, husband, father, friend. It’s the root of her expectation to change him (and the root of much turmoil as soon as he uncovers her intention.)
Men marry virtuous women, and the following jewels crown a female as feminine woman. They generally earn manful admiration and thereby make a woman virtuous and more appealing for marriage.
♥ Physical attractiveness marvelously enhanced by affordable attire and classy grooming—at all times in his presence. Sloppy and un-neat are out. Currently obsolete, but a tiny pinched-in waist carries more potential than most other features. Such a waist at age 50 can retain her starlet image of uniqueness.
♥ Sexual attractiveness enhanced by modest covering suggests by appearance that unique features are beneath, touching is forbidden, and men need more than just permission to go where they wish.
♥ Gentleness that attracts those seeking comfort.
♥ Forgetfulness that follows her forgiveness.
♥ Thoughtfulness that conveys her gratitude of others.
♥ Gratitude for her man that outwardly shines as happiness at having him nearby.
♥ Submissiveness that reflects a strong spirit of cooperation.
♥ Happy spirit that spreads infectiously and uplifts mannish spirits.
♥ Joyfulness that inspires greater hope and suppresses any urge to quit.
♥ Chasteness that promises loyalty to her man.
♥ Modest display of body and discouragement of flirting that symbolize fidelity.
♥ Generousness that smashes selfishness out of the lives of a couple.
♥ Receptiveness to his ideas without finding fault until execution threatens failure.
♥ Delightfulness that makes her man smile, just because she turns on that spirit.
♥ Willingness to welcome his devotion as adequate while she awaits his bonded love.
♥ Unselfishness that spreads as example that others deserve her.
♥ Perpetual smiling countenance that suggests all is well.
♥ Neatness that displays her standards and inspires others to be more like her.
♥ Goodness that sets a shining example to all.
♥ Faithfulness that inspires him to follow her example.
♥ Steadfastness that prevents complaints.
♥ Patience that calms the waters of frustration.
♥ Trust of him that energizes greater respect of her.
♥ Respect of him that energizes greater trust of her.
Those two dozen virtues are female strengths, some inherited at birth and others developed in childhood. Some girls learn otherwise, and some women are too busy, ego-stricken, or politically discouraged to develop and use them. Of course her man may not be worth such effort, but feminine jewels hold a man’s respect, which is foundation of his love, and which provides both her ability and opportunity to morph a Mr. Good Enough into her Mr. Right after a couple decades of marriage.
Her behavior makes men good, bad, indifferent, inadequate, or whatever. Provided, that is, she doesn’t mate up with a hopeless case to begin with. As Eliza Doolittle affirms in My Fair Lady, “The difference between a lady and flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she’s treated.” The more feminine virtues he inherits before and after marriage, the better she is treated, because respect follows his admiration of her unique qualities.
Self-promoted with those jewels listed above, women receive the greatest, kindest, fondest, and lady-like treatment. Such virtues may not be essential, but they facilitate earning affection, devotion, bonding love, and true love in marriage.
It returns us to the subject of a man’s true love. I explain it more clearly next at 2558.