2560. Ten Steps to Win a Man’s Heart— Step 13: They Differ Greatly

Life becomes clearer once we compare male apples to female apples. For example, men don’t do happy, they do satisfied; women don’t do satisfied, they do happy.

More apples to apples:

  1. Men seek to be admired; self-admiration is sufficient provided it spurs a man to earn satisfaction by what he does and has done. IOW, thoughts of admiration spur him onward and upward until he finds satisfaction, such as finishing a project or after a day on the job. A woman seeks self-importance by being dependent on others to find her important to them, whereas men are independent and don’t need the admiration of others. Nevertheless, and usually but not always, her importance grows when she admires a man just for being who he is plus what he does that she can admire, whether to her benefit or not.
  2. Your love and your man’s duty are motivational equivalents. The love of woman appreciates others and you share it easily. The duty of man serves others, and he mostly applies it as you deserve it.
  3. If a man pursues you just for conquest or booty, he has your anxieties to overcome. If he pursues you for YOU, he has to deal with his own anxieties, which stem from fear of losing you.
  4. You bond with sex but he doesn’t. He bonds by pledging to himself that he is in love with you. His true love emerges when he accepts responsibility for you and marriage combined into his version of integrated duty. He remains true until you and marriage drift apart such that his responsibility to you and marriage are no longer identical twins.
  5. What love is to women, duty is to men. You spread love, because you have so much self-love; it pleases you to share it. Men have no love to spread, and they are not all that fond of spreading affection as you do. In fact, men require specific training to satisfy you in quality and quantity of affection. Men have A.D.D., affection delivery disorder. It goes up against your A.D.D., affection deficiency disorder.
  6. Fulfilling his duty to take care of his woman and children satisfies a husband. Couples quite often split over this. She rather than he defines his responsibility and duty. She may know better, but it ill serves her to try to convince him of it. He did not sign on for someone to tell him how to do his duty. No more than he tells her how to share her love.
  7. Your competition over conquest ends with that momentous event. After that, cooperation prevails without competition, or else disputes arise and fights occur. Pre-conquest is the only time men accept competing with a woman. Competitive stress at other times pushes them into fight or flight mode. It happens out of fear of losing to what should be an inferior being—according to the male nature’s view of hierarchy of genders. However, he subconsciously recognizes you as superior just as soon as he fears losing you.
  8. Universal question: If marriage vows included that you would not change from your bridal self, could you stick to your vows? Men want a woman that does not change as badly as women want a man who does not cheat.
  9. For a man, the equivalent of female happiness is satisfaction, mostly in his job, and he just naturally specializes in it early in life. Keep him from satisfying himself today, and you create an unhappy man with less ability to recover than women have for recovering loss of gratitude. You can witness it after he passes mid-life crisis.

I expect to finally close this series with leftover thoughts, and it’s next.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

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