2563. Her Receptivity Problem


At post 2427 six months ago, Shermy cited a female problem and Prettybeans asked for an article on the subject. Shermy called it a receptivity problem. I replied then that I was unqualified but would try to figure some way to help. Overdue but here it is.

Shermy: “Today’s woman has become very skilled at doing everything for herself, then realizes no one is willing to help someone who rejects when something is offered. Pretty soon NOTHING is offered, then you’re left wondering why you have to do EVERYTHING yourself.”

As with most female problems dealing with men, the receptivity problem is caused by abandoning the feminine nature that women inherit at birth.

  1. Vanity is vital to complete the female nature. It makes you feel deserving of what others want to do for you and less motivated to refuse them. Vanity inside adds to self-importance and attractiveness, which makes men seek to please you. .
  2. A man wants to figure out the opportunity and potential promise you hold for him. He judges by your reactions to what he has to offer. Rejections of whatever kind tell him he isn’t and probably can’t be all that important and, therefore, you could never be dependent on him, which translates to his not being attractive enough. His view of a future with you dims, and so he looks for gals more promising.
  3. Manly character and integrity serve women, but you have to mine it out of individual men. The best way is to show willingness, confirm opportunity, and offer promise of both listening and depending on him. It has the added advantage of enabling you to figure out his character and integrity.
  4. You may feel good but you devalue your importance by talking about yourself. A guy tires easily of it, and withdraws from wanting to please you. Men talk to admire and satisfy themselves, which adds to their desire to do something for or please you. They know already they’re important, and as they talk and please you more, confirmation grows of your expanding importance to them.
  5. Your worth to others depends on your ability to add importance to women and satisfaction to men. When you let or enable men to do something for you or to please you, they easily become satisfied as having done the right thing. Men don’t invest themselves for a woman without a return on investment, which is that you should think more of them than previously. A satisfying ROI. Consequently, if you have the receptivity problem Shermy described, you reduce your value to men for not helping them feel satisfied and better about themselves.
  6. Men know that the weaker sex deserves special treatment, which adds value to you, because you are an opportunity to show off his ability, virility, and stronger role in the universe. Refuse any respectable attention from a man and you belittle yourself and your gender. Hits are next.
  7. You have two forms of attractiveness, physical and sexual. The more you tout the latter, the less attention is shown to you as a woman. The more you refuse sexual attention, pleasantly convert it to the non-sexual without rejecting the man, then the more respect you earn by shifting his focus from sex and onto you.
  8. You’re as pretty as you convince yourself each morning before your favorite mirror. Your prettiness doubles when you pleasantly let a man ‘rescue’ you from thinking you can do everything by yourself. You can do it, but it doesn’t pay as well.
  9. Men like their independence, when they can find a doll who shines as dependent on them. An independent woman may look good but to male eyes she has a phony sheen about her.
  10. Female happiness is rooted in self-gratitude. Women ungrateful for who and what they are have trouble both finding happiness and accepting manly offers or assistance. However, accepting the support of others adds value to her. She must be better than she thinks, or they wouldn’t single her out to help. Therefore, by more willingly accepting male offers, she becomes more grateful for herself, which enables her to expand her gratitude for others and be released onto the road to female happiness.

It’s not what you do and don’t do, it’s the reaction of the guy you deal with. When you refuse his respectable initiatives, you satisfy yourself to your own disadvantage. When you pleasantly accept manly initiatives, your advantages multiply.

It is to the huge advantage of the superior gender that all women make all men feel better about themselves. A man’s self-admiration and satisfaction comes better from acceptance of his offer or gift rather than a guilt-caused compliment or thank you that comes with a turn down, refusal, rejection.

21 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

21 responses to “2563. Her Receptivity Problem

  1. Elsa

    9.”Men like their independence, when they can find a doll who shines as dependent on them. An independent woman may look good but to male eyes she has a phony sheen about her.”
    What are some ways we can show we are dependent of him meaning BF?? I tried to tell my BF that I learning French and he’s already took those course before. I was hinting I needed a good book to find that would help me in the course. He’s respond just go to the library it should be there.

    Your Highness Elsa,
    Sorry to be so blunt, but his response is a red flag. He doesn’t respect you enough for a long relationship, which suggests to me that conquest is past and you are ineligible to earn more of his respect. It does not mean he will dump you but be prepared, especially if you are in college and you are helping him get through.
    Guy

    • Elsa

      Yes Sir Guy, you are absolutely sight!!!. I just really wanted him to help me, but nope it didn’t work. I guess it was too much to ask for. The really bad part I didn’t add was he already graduated with his degrees as librarian!!!. I always felt he would rather help other people, even a stranger than me. He would compliment other people, even close girl friends on how pretty they are (I don’t know if he was trying to lower my self-esteem) and even offer them tickets to go to the museum he was working in. He would never forget their birthdays but yet he cant even remember mine. We never celebrated a birthday, holiday, anniversary together. I wanted flowers, but even that was too much ask…he never bought them for me not once.
      It’s time to move on, I tried everything going to church, I cooked for him sometimes,etc. I think if I left him without an explanation and just disappeared, he wouldn’t even notice until he thought of me or where I am. Who knows how long that will take a week, weeks, a month. I don’t how I should handle this situation??? Please help me Sir Guy thank you 😊😊

      Your Highness Elsa,
      You have only one choice. Dump him without notice or hope that he will come back. Even if he was to do so, he would dump you shortly thereafter. You don’t have a chance of recapturing him, and even if it were to happen on a small scale, you would be left in the same cold way he treated you recently. Fact is, he does not respect you, which is the clue that you gave him sex. Don’t do it with next guy; make him respect you before you yield, and that takes many chaste months.
      Guy

      • Shermy

        Gurrrrrl, you need to move on and build yourself up. From your description, he is at most tolerating you until he finds something he likes better. Don’t let him waste your precious non-renewable time. He is showing you by his actions that he doesn’t respect you. Respect yourself enough to learn you deserve better and move forward to someone who will show you by their actions that they respect you.

      • Elsa

        Thank you Sir Guy. I learned my lesson… its time for me to leave and never look back. I’ll definitely take your advice and won’t do it with next guy a Mr good enough hope I find him soon. I always wanted a family of my own a husband, being able to raise, nurture my children, but with a good man by side. I have hope and faith that I will find him and with your wisdom and guiding us I know I will. I need to improve myself to be a better me. Thank you Sir Guy 😊

        Your Highness Elsa,

        You say, “I need to improve myself.” You just put yourself in charge. Congratulations for being that smart. That’s where the next good man comes in—to what you are and can be rather than what he is and doesn’t care or know how to be a better man.

        I suggest you study these series listed in the CONTENT page on Home page: Virtual Virginity, Boob Language, Step 10 in Ten Steps to Win the Heart of a Man, Advertising Online for Dates (if you’re tempted), Beware Red Flags, and Chaste Courtship Works.

        Guy

        • Elsa

          Yes, Sir Guy I will do just that. You put a big smile on my face😁… I should be sad but I’m really not. Thank you for being honest/blunt with me…my feelings were not hurt. I just really needed to hear it, learn, and take action. Thank you Shermy for you advice as well I really appreciated it Gurlll lol.

  2. Thankful

    Sir Guy thank you once again for another incredibly important post. May I ask a few more questions about both post 2563 especially in regards to point 1?

    “Vanity is vital to complete the female nature. It makes you feel deserving of what others want to do for you and less motivated to refuse them. Vanity inside adds to self-importance and attractiveness, which makes men seek to please you.”

    My sister and I (no brothers) were brought up in the family business to lend a hand and to do so with a positive attitude. Vanity was frowned upon and hard-working service and cheerfulness to all the ages we met was praised. Consequently many older people praise our bunch of sisters as being devoid of vanity and full of character and help. This has served us well in helping to serve others but …. so much to learn/unlearn when it comes to the men in our lives. Mirror time has been a big help, thankyou Sir Guy.

    I suppose what I am trying to say is that finding the balance has been the hardest part of this whole journey. What I am trying to ask is please help us unpack the delicate balance of being serving and helpful whilst the male world seems to be biased towards the females who feel no need to speak nor help anyone around them but batt their eyelashes at men and they run!

    Your Highness Thankful,
    Selfishness is the natural root of vanity in women. If not frowned upon and discouraged in little girls, vanity in adulthood becomes excessive and ill-serves such women. OTOH, if selfishness is discouraged but they are not condemned for it, those girls learn to balance vanity as adults and find their lives better for it. However, in society today, vanity is so criticized and held to be selfish (wonder why?) and women learn none or few of the advantages for dealing with men.
    Guy

    • Meow Meow

      I agree Thankful sometimes my “can-do” and positive attitude seemed to be praised by those who have lived through the Depression era and harder times but turn off and annoy people my own age. Or, my contemporaries see me as a “person” first, a woman second, and then try to take advantage of my love-to-help nature. I am not naive, but they think I am. I’m not sure where this is coming from, but I try to enjoy my own kind nature and be aware of my tendency to want to be helpful but not let it slide into over-doing. Its very difficult to find the balance.

      Your Highness Meow Meow,
      You worry over a cultural phenomenon rooted in the sixties. The kids fell for and started living by one of the revolutionary mottoes: “Don’t listen to anyone over thirty!” They adopted it seriously. It has been passed down through generational attitudes to where it happens subliminally rather than outwardly. A leftover value embedded in the subconscious from a previous firestorm of cultural change.
      Guy

  3. 1jarofclay

    Wonderful article! Being receptive and welcoming is definitely one of the most obvious feminine woman’s traits. For men it’s essential to feel needed, so being very self-reliant can get in the way. I’d say be your independent self, but also give men the chance to be your hero sometimes. This is one of the greatest blocks that modern women need to overcome in order to find a partner.

    When I met my husband, he wanted to do so much for me and I used to say: “I got it. Thanks.” But then I realized that I was taking a great joy away from him!

    One more thing to the single ladies: be careful who you give the gift of your feminine energy to, whom you are receptive to and how much. Not every man deserves that beautiful and special gift. In fact, most don’t, so we need to be very discerning.

    Magnolia

  4. The other day I went to get my car fixed with my 6-month-old baby + diaper bag. One man rushed to open the door for us when we entered and another man did the same when we exited. Made both me and presumably the men feel good. I just love being helped by handsome men (just one of the reasons I keep coming back to WWNH 😀 )

  5. Sarina

    Reality makes women have trouble with receiving attention, compliments and other pleasantries and I can see why. I’ve been raised to have a great opinion of men overall, I’ve never in my life had a ‘sour’ demeanor regarding them until recent years. While growing up, I actually thought men are sometimes smarter than women..and I kept them in high regard even when some were unpleasant.
    I’m becoming more intolerant of men because I feel like most are ‘fake’, In order to keep up with actuality, I visit ‘men only’ forums and discussions and I’m basically repulsed at their word choices regarding women, it’s beyond inhumane, terms that they use make women seem worthless. I abhor their superiority complex, I wouldn’t talk about a human being like that but they do it ‘secretly’ while they’re among themselves. They feel special and above women, that’s the truth, it shows by how they talk.

    But I always tend to forget and get back to find them admirable, it’s surprising how I still have a desire to trust them after knowing their real opinion on women, it comes so naturally to like them that it puzzles me sometimes. I guess that’s how women put up with abuse, they keep on loving..even feminists talk constantly about men and are big on sexuality, so rarely women hate men as they claim.

    Your Highness Sarina,
    Tell your parents they did a good job raising you. It’s your exemplary attitude that will someday pull men out of the Manosphere.
    Guy

  6. stephanie deGange

    sarina–most of these men’s sites are putting down feminists and easy ladies.
    i constantly read of the yearning of these young men to find a feminine woman who doesn’t swear, act like the guys, partying constantly, not caring about their looks and mainly being sexually promiscuous. they are searching for a good woman to marry when the time comes and lament that there are none to be found in the “hard-assed” women in the us.

  7. I understand now much better than I used to something I read years ago, that women interact by talking and men interact by doing.

    Still, when I heard someone recently describe how “we” could refinish my dining room floor, I did not immediately recognize it as a kind of communication. I saw it as a kind of presumption on his part.

    A female friend with four brothers said that this was normal guy behavior, not an attempt to be controlling or domineering.

    So, belatedly, I said thanks for the offer. Don’t know if “better late than never” applies here. Don’t know if my floor will actually get refinished.

    I’m sure, since it’s typical male behavior, that it doesn’t mean anything special if it’s the kind of thing that a man would do for anyone, but clearly I need to learn to say thanks for doing duchess offers.

  8. This is very sad. I would say a woman in this situation needs to run as far away from it as possible.

    It also makes me ask: why would a man do this to a woman instead of saying flat out I am not interested in you . . . and why does any woman insist on trying to get this kind of subtle abuser (because thst’s what he is) to stop and see her worth?

    • Shermy

      Men rarely tell a woman they flat out don’t want her, they just take what they can get from her and tolerate what they need to until they get bored. Plus they probably think they’ve displayed their lack of interest and if she doesn’t get it then they deserve what she’s offering. (I realize how dark that is…) and even if he’s a jerk he still gets to pretend he’s the good guy by just not addressing the obvious.

      As far as the woman trying to get the man’s attention even though he’s signaled his disinterest, my guess is that she never learned the signs of true male interest and thinks HER actions will change his mind and make her worthy of his attention. Because she learned somewhere that it is HER actions that make someone like her, rather than men’s actions signaling that THEY like her.

  9. Etu

    Sir Guy, I wonder if I can ask you if I am right to cancel plans with a new guy I met. I am early 30s and he is late 20s. We met on a Christian dating site and live on opposite suburbs of the same city, about 30 minutes apart. The first time we met I drove about 15 miles to his workplace after work one day. He drove us around and we talked. He had his dog with him to walk, which he drove 30 minutes home to go get. Honestly I was slightly put off that he asked to bring his dog. Our conversation was good and he asked to see me again. We both were leaving for the weekend so planned on doing something this week. He tried calling me Sunday but I missed it. We agreed by text on Sunday to meet today after work. Early this morning I texted him that if he’d like to pick me up from my job I would give him the address. He responded he was taking his sister to church tonight and could we meet tomorrow. Then he texted, “or we could meet [in the area he was going to be in today, which is about 20 miles up the interstate for me]. I just responded that tomorrow is better. Tomorrow he’s wanting to go to his sister’s friend’s softball game and then get something to eat. I don’t know the driving arrangements but have a feeling he’s wanting to just meet there. I did it up extra with my hair etc looking forward to this date tonight. It doesn’t sit well with me that he cancelled contingent on me not driving to meet him. Other girls think I’m a diva for this…I just don’t even want to see him tomorrow.

    Your Highness Etu,

    You’re half healed not wanting to see him tomorrow.

    With dog, game, sister, church, and lack of desire to travel for your sake, you sure don’t top his priority list, which means he may try and try again to fit you into his life. Not top dog, however, or so it seems.

    So, you initiate and drop out of contact and sight, as if he never existed. Either he will reevaluate your priority in his life or leave it unchanged. If unchanged dump him for good; there’s very little hope. If he wants to reunite, make him do all the driving as a test.

    He may not be quite dead relative to you, but he’s breathing hard whether he can fit you into his life. Even if he does, it gets tiring after a short while, which means your future with him is short in any event.

    You enjoyed the time you spent with him. Given his reaction, I suspect you talked too much. Too excited and you disclosed who and what you are and could be to him, so he never had to spend any time or invest himself to sense out who you are and could be to him. A man’s imagination impresses him much more than a woman’s tongue, regardless of what she conveys. Also, your disclosure is both unearned gift for him, which men don’t appreciate, and a common error of women everywhere.

    Guy

    • 1jarofclay

      Miss Etu,
      An interested man should happily drive to see *you* the first few times that you two meet (at least).

      He also would not even think of canceling/rescheduling (unless there was an emergency), let alone for the reasons you cite. He’d apologize and ask to reschedule asap.

      Ideally, a guy should be pursuing you ardently and trying to pin you down for a date. As for phone calls and texts, he should be initiating most of the time. This is how he shows that he’s truly interested. How else will you know?

      And what’s with the dog and meeting with his sister and friend? He should be excluding everything and everyone else and giving you his undivided attention when he’s with you, especially this early on.

      This guy is not worth your time.

      Magnolia

      Your Highness Magnolia,
      Good analysis. Amen!
      Guy

      • Etu

        Thanks to both of you for confirming the instincts. I think dropping out on him is my only choice. I’m afraid he might ask about the weekend but no way am I meeting him somewhere.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s