Default motivations are those that reside in the psyche from birth and to which people turn when they lack other motivations. It is their nature in action.
Their natural and deep-rooted motivations differ, and a man’s is the simpler process. His prime motivator is to satisfy his sense of self-admiration, which he does through accomplishments. It’s a natural closed loop. 1) He seeks to admire self. 2) He accomplishes something—task, job, or R&R and being free to do so is itself satisfying—until his efforts satisfy him. 3) Satisfaction confirms self-admiration. He is free to energize himself to go around the loop many times daily. Moreover, he is self-sufficient. He can continually loop around the process without the help of others, unless he solicits it. The admiration of others may be appreciated but in the end it is unnecessary; he is independent at earning self-admiration (except boys are sometimes taught otherwise).
OTOH, her prime motivator is to confirm her sense of self-importance, which she does by doing something for others, spreading her love, and finding gratefulness in others. The last is the most productive, because feedback from gratitude she spreads confirms her importance and enough self-importance generates happiness. Her process is also a closed loop. But it always involves others, which adds to the complexity. She needs to prove her importance. 1) She finds reasons to be grateful for herself and others. 2) She spreads her love to confirm it. 3) Recipients express their gratitude by confirming her importance in their lives. Her self-importance thus confirmed, she returns to step 1).
A major theme of this blog is that the closer people act according to their nature inherited at birth, the more compatible they are as mates, happier as women, and more satisfied as men.