2568. More Tips for Women — 03


The following are some results from the way the sexes are born differently. It describes the need of why women are born with so much relationship expertise that men lack. Women are especially endowed with the ability to overcome how two natures work contrary to each other.

  1. A woman’s love connects her to a man, but the reverse is not true. Her love is an unearned gift to him, and men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. It does not follow that not appreciating her love is not appreciating her. He measures his appreciation of her in a mixture of other ways that earn and retain his respect.

 

  1. Women, loaded with self-love and ardent desire to spread it, instinctively rely on three little words to fix all that is broke. Men are not born with self-love and earn it as they develop, and so womanly love has a lesser importance.

 

  1. Women are not born with self-respect; they earn it as they develop. OTOH, men are born loaded with self-respect. Their dealings with women are primarily based on respect and expectations that they be automatically respected with whatever love a woman wants to give them.

 

  1. Her respect of who and what he is impresses him more than her confessing her love. He measures her love by her actions much more than her words.

 

  1. Expressions of female love can become overbearing when over expressed. It may signal that she is desperate, fearful, depressed, and generally not in charge of her life. She can even be boring with too many  ‘I love you’s if his interest in her personally is very low.

 

  1. A man prefers to figure out that a woman loves him by her actions to support and depend on him, by her letting him run their relationship habits, by her accepting his leadership/dominant role. Her words are never as impressive as her actions. Whether she loves him at conquest is immaterial; either way is okay so long as she yields.

 

  1. It’s man-think. The more she relies on his leadership, the more love she must have for him. Pardon the hyperbole, but her willingness to obey signifies her love. He is primarily interested in her love/obedience at the present moment; he doesn’t worry about how it impacts their future. Now is forever. If she loves him enough to obey now, he owns their future, or so men usually think. The pressure to obey inspires women to learn how to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men.

 

  1. It’s the existence of her love and not the expressions of it that a man depends on. She loves me, so let’s move on. Her expressions of love please her more than him.

 

9. Given a quiet or concerned moment, she says I love you. It was unnecessary, so why did she say it? What does she expect him to do? What can he do but respond with the same, which is a confirmation that she desires, but he does not understand the need—unless she previously taught him.

 

As the result of being born differently, on matters of love she is single minded, but he is not. She relies on the use of words to convey her thoughts and what she expects of him. He focuses on actions from which he figures out where he stands and what he can expect from her.

As individuals develop throughout life, they learn to adjust to make all those conditions shown above become more advantageous for themselves. Women learn much more easily than men, because of their relationship expertise to compensate for inborn traits.

Their natures are very different and contrary to the other. Since women are blessed with special abilities for dealing with men, it is up them to relieve, reverse, or overcome the willfulness of both sides to get their own way. Men don’t know where to start; they pretty much fill their roles as described above.

 

13 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences

13 responses to “2568. More Tips for Women — 03

  1. Shermy

    Very helpful tips Sir Guy!

  2. Anon...

    I notice number 5 is one which most young women use
    its what is making older women more attractive to young guys… if the women hangs all over the young guy… they HATE IT.. similar to girls getting their skin PERMENTLY MARKED UP WITH INK.. (they may ‘say’ they like it to get ‘sex’ from them.. but would rather marry a non inked woman)

  3. Ari

    My dear Sir Guy,
    I am always learning from you. I have a problem though. I will try to be brief.
    I met a man who displayed interst in me at first. I knew I was interested also in him and so I was very cautious. I behaved with him at my most chaste even when he made somewhat sexual inuendos( which he stopped doing) because I preceived he was a man used to getting his way with women. He has bought me flowers, taken me out and invested in me and my children. It seemed we were headed somewhere. However, we became friends and not a couple. I am afraid that our proximity negatively affects our relationship. We see each other daily because of work. He continues to flirt with me and seems to want my time always. He does the things he knows will please me. I just don’t know if there is anything I should be doing or not doing to get on track or if he is even worth it.
    Right now I have upgraded from dressing comfortable as I was doing to more feminine as per your recent posts.I also feel that he has grown comfortable with me and takes me for granted which is why he is not actively pursuing me. Please advise I am a little lost here.

    Your Highness Ari,
    My guess is proximity at work. You have been too easy to get to know; he didn’t have to figure you out. OTOH, he could be a player awaiting your initiatives, but I doubt it. Keep the friendship at a distance. Don’t act interested in him personally, just as fellow employee. His interest may return.
    Guy

  4. Beloved

    Hi Sir Guy, you have probably addressed this multiple times but i was just wondering something, or your take on it; in the Bible it says the older women should teach the younger women how to love their husbands. What does that mean do you think? (Please be detailed in your answer, if you would.) i know it’s not the same as respecting him because it’s mentioned separately. i have googled this but never felt like I got a good answer. Thanks!

    Your Highness Beloved,
    Love your husband as men want to be loved, not so much as women want to love them. Examples: Give him credit and appreciation for what he is and does for the family. Help and support him when he asks. Feed his physical wants in both food and your body. Expect him to take you for granted, which feeds his ego that he can do it and you can handle it. Let him know continually that he is at least okay and no bother and that you are okay with your responsibilities; that is, all is well with you. If he needs correction, spirits uplifted, or an alert of impending problems, give it indirectly as if no big deal. Enable him to assign importance to what needs attention.
    Guy

    P.S. Be sure to read Miss Gina nearby.
    G.

    • Miss Gina

      Dear Lady Beloved,
      Just a specific example or two… Just like we women want our favorites to be remembered, my husband loves it when I remember his favorites. So, after work, he is absolutely in bliss if I insist that he sits in “his” chair and puts his feet up. I take off his shoes and socks and massage both of his feet. I bring him his moccasins/slippers (or flipflops in hot weather) and a beer. Later, I may scratch his head for a couple of minutes. I don’t do all of these every day or even most days, but these are things I have learned say “I love you” to him specifically, more than any words can, though I do say the words at times, too.

      Other things that I do include reminding him of things he did right when he feels bad or guilty about a situation. I encourage him when he’s tired or depressed. Also, when he is tired, he sometimes feels guilty for resting, but I encourage him to do so. I tell him I’m not worried about it when he is concerned about providing enough money for something. I tell him he’s great at what he does for a living. I take his side in every situation, unless I just feel something is straight out wrong, but even then I will express it in a way that gives him the benefit of the doubt as far as his intentions. I listen intently and politely when he opens up to me about something emotional or embarrassing and offer words of comfort (but not too gushy). In areas where I’m trying to get him to improve, I make ridiculous jokes rather than criticize him directly (Look–someone left the mayonnaise out overnight! Oh, my! must have been the dog…(laughing as I casually throw mayonnaise away)).

      I try to keep a light atmosphere around the house, look my best and smile a lot, for my sake and God’s, but also for his, because the world can be a tough place and he needs a refuge. I do everything I can to avoid harsh words and arguments (but I do not let him push me around–still, I try to remain calm when standing my ground).

      I’m possibly making myself sound better than I am, but at least this is the approach I try to take with him.

      Your Highness Miss Gina,

      I love it when pretty women finish my job for me. Thanks, and very well done too. So, you’re not perfect. You sound better than good enough for any man.

      Your smiles tell him that he is okay. Your lack of complaints tell him that you’re okay. Those two factors let him know the marriage is on track. He is not at fault for surprises men hate most. Those he doesn’t, hasn’t, or can’t detect but his wife can and does.

      Thanks again. You must be full of those jewels cited at post 2557.

      Guy

  5. Southernbelle

    Sir,
    In regards to #4, what sort of actions by her during courtship does he see?
    If I follow my feminine heart, I want to give (kind words, cards, inexpensive but thoughtful gifts) but now find myself withholding because I’m unsure if these would be “unearned”. This goes against the grain of how I do life and what feels good to me. I very much enjoy giving thoughtful gifts and encouraging notes to many in my life that I care for. It’s just part of who I am and believe everyone needs encouraging words and smiles in this way to make life shine a bit brighter.

    Your Highness Southernbelle,
    The actions you cite display that you love a guy and do it better than your verbal professions of love. Also, you can expect that the signs of your respect, gratitude, and dependence weigh even more heavily in your favor.
    Guy

  6. SouthernBelle

    Sir Guy

    “He focuses on actions from which he figures out where he stands and what he can expect from her.”

    Could you please elucidate this more and perhaps provide more examples. I’m having a hard time seeing what he sees through my female eyes.

    Your Highness Southernbelle,
    He sees practically nothing through her eyes. However, he wonders about many things until he sees actions that confirm or deny these matters.
    • Is she truly interested in him or just being in love with someone?
    • Do her actions match her words?
    • Is she a giver or a taker?
    • Is she prone to talk endlessly and, therefore, boring?
    • Is her playing hard-to-get truthful, artful, or smoke screen?
    • Is she as chaste as she acts or says?
    • What is she really after? Boyfriend? Me? Marriage? Have a child?
    • Is she hanging with me because I have some money?
    Guy

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