2570. More Tips for Women — 05

  •  Women who step back from feminine attractiveness or toward manliness forfeit much of their relationship expertise and lose some ability to influence men.
  • Healthy marital habits form during courtship. For example, repeat refusals for unmarried sex bring out a man’s charm and displays of affection as he tries harder to conquer her. Over time, he learns to show attention and shower affection, and the habit forms.
  • Each woman expects much affection in the years to come, but Mr. GoodEnough should develop the habit during courtship. It’s too late after marriage, as it puts her in complaining mode, which makes it not his idea and he too easily resists or resents.
  • Men naturally crown their natural aggression and dominance with violence when they think they need it, unless females tame, civilize, and domesticate them. It starts with nurturing mothers and admirable sisters, depends greatly on chaste adolescent girls, and finalizes under the tutelage of a good wife. (Women as lovers and live-ins contribute little.)
  • Nagging and criticism alienate rather than teach men to lather affection on their woman.
  • Not in the pathological but the sociological sense, many women act manic-depressive seeking a man and obsessive-compulsive trying to live with one. Neither works well.
  • Children do, but adults  don’t improve when told of their faults. They improve to meet the expectations of those they like, admire, and respect—those who cite their strengths and reliability. Husbands are people and wives like, admire, and respect them or else they don’t improve.
  • Strong-willed feminine mystique, female modesty, and moral imperatives focus a man on a woman’s uniqueness, her gender independence, the ceiling of her expectations, and the moral floor that she expects of his behavior.
  • Women think and act like men. The more they do it, the less men honor the female gender as unique and praiseworthy for much more than sex and bending to masculine will.
  • Unlike men, women like to change whomever they find as inadequate. They often parent husbands as if they are boys.
  • Parents civilize and domesticate boys. Girls tame boys’ hormonal explosion by withholding sex. Wives motivate husbands to excel at husbanding and fathering. If not, marital relationships suffer.


Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences

3 responses to “2570. More Tips for Women — 05

  1. anon...

    Bullet number 2…
    Is soo correct!
    If a woman wants an affectionate husband..or one who would like him to go dancing with her..it’s best not to fornicate

  2. Beloved

    Would you explain how wives motivate husbands to excel at husbanding and fathering? Would it be through praise as he does something right?

    Your Highness Beloved,

    You ask how to motivate husband to excel at husbanding and fathering. Don’t think about praise, it works best on young children. To husband, too much praise makes a wife appear less than sincere. She’s after something, trying to trick him.

    I am working on a series on successful marriage; it’s a process that shows love is never enough. In the meantime, you can work with the following principles. More will appear in the series.

    From birth, both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Marriage is mutual agreement to share those natural urges. How? I offer the following as principles around which a lot of room exists for peaceful negotiation as led by the wife.

    • Let him rule the roost DIRECTLY, and you learn to rule the rooster INDIRECTLY. Indirectly means never push, insist, or nag. Use your natural ability to outwit, outsmart, and maneuver around obstructions to your getting your way.

    • He’s energized by the need for self-admiration and seeks satisfaction through accomplishments. Admire his effort to please you and family; he satisfies himself with achievement. His satisfaction is equivalent to your ‘happy’.

    • If you have a disgusting task, tell him you intend to call in an outsider. Then heed his advice.

    • Phrase tasking so he can find satisfaction in whatever he has to tackle.

    • Don’t tell him HOW to do anything. Sweetly suggest what you need done, when he can get around to it.

    • Don’t use ‘thank you’ as expression of your gratitude; reward with special attention disconnected from what he did. (Cold beer at the door after he mows the lawn.) When a man performs what he considers his duty, his satisfaction replaces any need for ‘thank you’. So, some other attention works much better, although the words satisfy her.

    • The present is his to dominate; the future is yours to govern. Let him have his way on present-day matters in exchange for your getting your way and govern matters expected in the future. Make it a friendly swap of ideas and preferences.

    • Do not begrudge his R&R time vs. your endless housekeeping. His R&R time provides many opportunities to admire himself. You yourself are many opportunities to admire himself. He sees your smiles (meaning he is okay) and lack of complaints (meaning you are okay) and thereby his marriage is okay.

    • Don’t know if this fits your situation. You might pay your kids a stipend to polish and shine dad’s shoes. They can make him look spic and span for church or work or whatever. kids get pleasure of helping dad outshine his competitors.

    Many more principles and tips are forthcoming. These should occupy your thinking until then.


  3. stephanie deGange

    enjoying this thread

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