2584 — More Tips for Women — 18


  1. Romantic love—mostly based on infatuation and lust—doesn’t require a man’s respect that is naturally earned by her refusing to yield to conquest. But his respect is required when romantic love fades, if enduring love is to replace it.
  2. Self-respect and duty slut are mutually exclusive. To not respect and ration one’s assets is to disrespect self.
  3. She settles for less than she can earn when she yields to a conqueror without marriage. She’s as worthy to a conqueror as the investment cost he pays to convince her to yield. She can make his investment cost rise to marriage.
  4. It’s Nature at the subliminal level: One pursues sex without marriage, the other pursues marriage before sex. He sells his worth, she awaits better offers.
  5. Two conquerors face off. The most pressure comes from the seller, normally the man with woman as buyer. When she yields prematurely, she then has to sell marriage to her conqueror, which reverses his role to that of buyer but she has little left to sell, unless he discovered other virtues in courtship.
  6. Spitefully, feminists begrudge men notching their bedpost as disrespectful of females. So, following the feminist spirit, women initiate sex and notch their bedposts to show disregard for the respect of men.
  7. Submissiveness is a cooperative spirit. Regardless of its name and who possesses it, marriage doesn’t work without that cooperative spirit that men do not carry in abundance, but women do.
  8. The best candidates for marriage have unconditional respect for the opposite sex that exceeds respect for their own gender. Women should screen for and highly desire it.
  9. The foundation of a man’s love is respect for a woman, which is best detected by actions that demonstrate devotion to her. That is, please himself by pleasing her.
  10. Once she marries, she should turn in her ‘license’ to criticize him. It’s not that he can’t take it, but every criticism detracts from his ability to believe her displays of respect, gratitude, and dependence are truthful.

10 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

10 responses to “2584 — More Tips for Women — 18

  1. SeekandFind

    8. The best candidates for marriage have unconditional respect for the opposite sex that exceeds respect for their own gender. Women should screen for and highly desire it.

    10. Once she marries, she should turn in her ‘license’ to criticize him. It’s not that he can’t take it, but every criticism detracts from his ability to believe her displays of respect, gratitude, and dependence are truthful.

    Greetings to you Sir Guy,

    My questions are regarding these two tips:

    On tip 8- What do you mean by a woman should screen for it? How should she do that? And should the man also have this mindset about women? And what’s the best indicator that he has that level of respect?

    On tip 10- I completely agree with this tip. I noticed you mentioned, “when she marries,” so I am guessing prior to that “criticism” can be made. Is this the indirect kind you mention often? I tend to be in shock whenever I perceive a guy does something that displeases me and I don’t directly “criticize” what it was that displeases me, at least the way I’d really like too eg. I don’t want you doing this or that. Or Stop… I don’t want to come off as a nagger/mother so words escape me. How should a single woman approach “criticism” versus a married woman?

    Your Highness Seekandfind,

    Good questions. Start by separating courtship from marriage. They are vitally different for both sexes.

    8. She screens him by observation, which suggests lengthy courtship. How does he treat and refer to other women? Even when angry or in temperamental situations? Both individually and collectively, he should appear as pleasant and deferential to women of every age, but especially hold older women in high regard and attention when they speak. He likes to hear women speak, IF they have something virtuous, efficient, or facilitating to order, discipline, or accomplishments. Food servers, even when they are wrong, are treated pleasantly. He tends to speak better of women than of men generally, except close friends or family.

    10. Before marriage, be direct, compete as needed to get your way, criticize if your expectations are ignored, and establish standards for him to heed forever. IOW, it’s your only chance to lead him directly. You can even change his habits, if done before conquest, so do it or lose it.

    After marriage reverse your expectations. Turn from competitor to cooperator, from direct to being indirect, from domination to submission, from criticizer to cooperator, from wordy suggestions to seed planter, from your changing to your not changing, from expecting him to change to suit you, to not doing that.

    Whatever standards you previously set still apply, but you may have to remind gently when he deviates; IOW he knows how not to offend you, so if his respect is sufficiently high, he will comply with your wishes unless you irritate him.

    All you predominantly have to do after marriage is let him see you smiling regularly (tells him he’s okay) and you don’t complain (tells him you’re okay), which he translates as ‘all is well’. Men expect little else to satisfy them with their home (could be a hut) and relationship (is either okay or not; if not okay, why be in it?).

    He marries for the present and expects neither he nor you to change. You marry for the future and see plenty of need that you both change a lot. When problems arise, revert yourself back to your bride persona; that’s the woman he married and expects to live with forever.

    Guy

    • Southernbelle

      Sir Guy,

      Will you please elaborate on #8. If he, a divorced middle aged gentleman, seems to hold men in higher regard what does that infer? He has talked in a poor light in various ways regarding exs, other women who pursued him, his sister, mother, female coworkers. It’s not in a female commiserating sort of way it’s more stated as fact not emotionally. However from what I’ve observed he acts gentlemanly towards all these women and acts gentlemanly outwardly overall for nearly a year now. I don’t know what to make of this discrepancy. It seems that he does not speak derogatory of the men in his life even if he talks about poor decisions they’ve made/are making he remains friends with them still spending time
      with them. He seems to separate the man from the man’s behavior but the women not so. He seems to characterize the women based on their actions. All of this leads me to conclude he thinks more highly of men in general and less so of women.
      Your insight is much appreciated!

      Your Highness Southernbelle,

      I agree with your conclusion; he has less respect for women than men.

      You say, “He seems to characterize the women based on their actions.” That is instinctive of men; they value actions over words, and so he judges as a man without consideration of other female qualities. At least he treats them somewhat differently, but it appears less deserving of his respect.

      Guy

    • SeekandFind

      Wow, this explanations helps so much! Thank you Sir Guy for going into such details to answer my questions.

    • Southernbelle

      Sir Guy

      Will you provide some specifics on 10 regarding compete and criticize directly. Aside from not yielding, I’m assuming this means actions more than words but direct assertive words when needed as well. I feel like he has to earn my time and attention to make it worth giving him my time and words if my actions are unclear to him and he wishes to please me. I have no desire to talk and talk about relationship matters. If he can’t figure out how to get and keep my attention to impress me, then he’s not man enough to be trusted to lead me in marriage. Some women say this is being a b**** not a kind Christian woman; I disagree but I can’t draw on anything specific to support my position other than my instinct says so.

      Your Highness Southernbelle,

      First, always trust your instinct foremost.

      Second, a woman who stands up for herself is no b**** if she is not projecting but protecting her dignity, comfort, and right to live her life her way.

      Third, you’re very wise to prevent his endless chatter about your relationship and what it may be or you may have. So, yes, don’t let him do it. I endorse this: “If he can’t figure out how to get and keep my attention to impress me, then he’s not man enough to be trusted to lead me in marriage.”

      Guy

  2. Sarina

    This is related to respect and it’s a puzzling thought of mine. How should we, as women talk about other women who aren’t of ‘great’ quality? We’ve seen how often women bash other women, but I think it shouldn’t be done in front of men. Calling some woman a slut in front of a guy…seems kinda..unladylike, so to speak. I think mental assessment should be enough, if I know some girls are very easy, I wanna keep it to myself, not accuse them in front of anyone. Far too often and for various reasons, women insult and parade another woman’s faults in front of a guy..and I think it surprises men negatively since they don’t have this behavior with rival men.

    • Miss Gina

      Dear Lady Sarina,
      In general, I agree; speaking ill of others generally tends to cast a shadow on the speaker. Of course, there may be occasions when the situation warrants it–especially regarding the type of female who is out to harm others, vs. the type who out of pain or ignorance doesn’t respect herself. Usually, the less said, though, the better. Men like it if ladies can make their opinions known indirectly. (Examples: a roll of the eyes or disdainful glance…an indirect comment, “A lady would…(insert opposite of what person in question is doing).” It sort of makes the information an insider’s secret that they’re in on…but clearly (in their minds, at least), other men don’t know because the lady doesn’t go around spilling her secret thoughts everywhere. Makes them feel important and special.

      • Sarina

        Miss Gina, I think there has to be a balance. Yes, I would want for a future partner of mine to know that I disapprove of depraved lifestyle, that I’m different from other girls, but at the same time I wouldn’t want to come across as hateful or bashing of girls that are easy. It’s hard to draw a line, but I agree with your advice: a statement about what a lady would do is the best because it takes a general approach..

        • Miss Gina

          Lady Sarina,

          I think we are on the same page. I would normally say nothing; however, I’ve known at least one female who was extremely depraved (purposely sitting on a high counter so as to flash her crotch at a married man seated in the office when wearing a skirt, for example…she was constantly targeting this man). This particular person talked loudly and often about her “Christian faith” while pulling cruel, evil, and creepy stunts on women she considered to be her “competition.” I considered it best to say nothing, as the men’s embarrassed looks and efforts to look elsewhere said plenty (and the man in question got rid of her as soon as he had the opportunity). But, given the right situation, I might have made my contempt for such behavior known. That is an extreme case; usually I’d keep my peace, like you.

  3. that last comment…ay!! so telling and painfully honest.

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