Having qualified Hank as potentially good enough for her, Jenny loves the thought that a courtship approaches and his devotion may be developing. It’s no time to screw up as done previously; if she plays the sex card this time, her life is no longer under her control.
One ex-boyfriend, one ex-husband, and one ex-friend with benefits plague her conscience. She can do better to restore her self-importance and be grateful for someone she can adore.
Reviewing a long forgotten pledge to herself, she renews her determination to abstain from sex this time. She reinforces her dedication to resist excess passion, swears off one-nighters with dreamboats, promises to screen men for their worth to her, and project herself as much more than sexual potential.
After a few dates to screen and qualify a man for her future, if he doesn’t want her more than he wants sex with her, then he disqualifies himself as good enough. How can she tell? She is much more than her sexual assets, but she has only one way of conveying that to dates and the coterie of men that shadow her with sexual ambitions—abstinence.
She knows what she needs, wants, and expects in terms of being coveted. She deserves to be loved affectionately, long, and with babies welcomed by devoted father. Men, except the specific one she chooses from all the others, deserve to be denied sex. Earning her is far more important for shaping her life beneficially, whereas earning sex misshapes life to her disadvantage.
She expects to yield to the man who meets her requirements for fulfilling her girlhood hopes and dreams. She owes him that. She hopes to swap his independence and dedication to her life for frequent and convenient sex that bears her stamp of ‘specifically protected’ from his competitors. Thus, she can also inflate his ego to help fulfill her life. She knows a man marries for much more than sex, but by elevating it in her thoughts as if it does, it helps keep her on track to her goal.
Refusing to yield sex confirms her self-respect, -confidence, and -love, all of which justify her as deserving of fulfilling her hopes and dreams. It also confirms her self-importance as she saves up her gratitude for the man who ultimately wins her heart as life mate. With those qualities to backstop her decisions, no one will be figuratively dashing through her life wearing track shoes and leaving her weeping and bloodied body alone—as did ex-husband, -boyfriend, and -friend.
Jenny is not conscious of it, but instinct tells her. If she misreads herself and yields sex prematurely, aka before her standards are met, then any conqueror has little investment in her. Her hopes and dreams will begin to vaporize, if she loses control with any temporary arrangement. Platonic courtship must prevail in her mind and heart, as she returns to thinking about Hank.
By yielding sex prematurely and not allowing a Mr. Good Enough’s devotion, bonded love, and true love to develop, she allows her hopes and dreams to spoil as she adjusts to living some man’s life instead of her dreams. Thus, instinct guides her properly if she lets it.
Saying ‘no’ in the present enables her to save ‘yes’ for the right time, right man, and right future. Having reviewed her options and determination. She’s excited just thinking about guiding her relationship with Hank according to her expectations. She has to keep excitement to herself, but that does not dampen Jenny’s anticipation of their fourth date….