2594. Conquering the Conqueror


At post 2593 Her Highness Beloved opened a subject about which women may want more exposure. How do men behave associating with women? The female nature senses what follows, but many women do not rely on their instincts.

In sync with courtesy and respectable introductions, on first and subsequent encounters, a man’s mind toys with thoughts of first time sex with each female. That is, those attractive enough for his taste and acceptable enough for what he thinks he deserves. (What he deserves is known to women only as his ego, aka the term that precedes blame and triggers the male psyche into attack mode as best defense.)

It’s his destiny to judge, instinctively measure her appeal to him, and appraise her for what it will take for him to bed her. Each gal who receives a favorable rating becomes a challenge. Men find self-admiration as they respond to challenges, and self-satisfaction as they overcome a gal’s resistance.

Each woman attractive enough to catch a man’s attention sparks his curiosity about her in bed, which stirs his imagination to think of her horizontally and waiting for him. Penetration is conquest; imagined penetration encourages and perhaps arouses him.

Ten, nine, and eight are great enough to mate. Seven, six, and five are at least alive. Four and below and he’s a no show. (Modern men rate women on another scale they call “crazy,” aka unsuitable for shack up or marriage and maybe not even suitable for conquest. It’s another story for another time.)

Men discriminate according to individual taste, preference, and ability to accomplish what they hope to conquer. But the nearer ten the woman, the more enthusiastic the man, and the more eagerly he will invest himself to get next to her and accomplish what he was created to do.

It’s the major part of the package we all receive at birth designed (or evolved) to perpetuate humankind. Men spread their seed liberally, mother-love raises the children that result, and life is all about women capturing men to help raise the next generation. That’s why we are all here, to fulfill God’s intent or Nature’s randomness.

What does it mean for women? His urge to conquer matches mother love in strength, longevity, and irresistible drive. While mother love and urge to conquer produce different effects, they are equivalent as the most powerful instincts in humans.

If women understood men better, they would not forego their individual roles as members of the superior gender; they would exploit it—but few know how.

Women are born with the relationship expertise necessary for mothers to civilize boys, teen girls to tame male adolescents, bachelorettes to shape ambitions toward marriage, and wives to domesticate husbands into good providers, guardians, and fathers. Females are born both interested and capable of it.

The thing that stands in their way is female unwillingness, exhausted patience, or frustrated motivation to conquer the male sex urge and control it in favor of a woman’s long range interests rather than short range pleasure.

At first encounter, two conquerors face off in the battle of the sexes. One seeks sex without obligation; the other seeks marriage before sex. There will be a winner but not necessarily a loser, and women have the most to say about the outcome.

In closing, women associate every day with hunter-conquerors in a multitude of situations. Each man’s conquering spirit is forever present. She is highly capable of mastering that spirit, if she but tries amid determination to win the battle. By doing so, she learns how to more often and effectively get her way instead of having to follow her man with little influence over their activities.

11 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

11 responses to “2594. Conquering the Conqueror

  1. The Reddest Rose

    Hello,

    I have a few odd questions, and have nowhere else to look for answers. It is a sensitive topic, and I hope it doesn’t put you off…

    This post made me think of some things my husband has told me about his past. He was left widowed by his first wife. He was 28 when he lost her, and they had been together 10 years.

    He doesn’t really talk about her, and has only shared with me negative things. For example, she was mad all the time and cried a lot.

    He also told me that they had a civil ceremony 2 years before their religious ceremony and they didn’t tell a soul nor even live together. This strikes me as odd, because he was telling people I was his wife even before we were officially engaged! Why conceal a marriage for 2 years? Why share with me this secret?

    More relevant to this topic, is the time when I asked to see a photo of her. He told me (warned me?) that she was not beautiful. Then he told me 2 stories of how friends and acquaintances used to comment to him about her appearance. He said he accidentally let it slip to her, early in their courtship, that his friends thought his ex was hotter.

    I still haven’t seen a photo…

    And, finally, he doesn’t really cherish the daughter they had together. He sent her to live with his family. They live a 6 hour plane ride away. He visits twice a year, does all his fatherly duties (regular phone calls, gifts, pays for everything), but doesn’t seem to really like her. The feeling seems mutual from her end as well. (Side note: he says daughter is a spitting image of her mom)

    As you can see, it’s a very sensitive issue and unfortunately I’m left feeling a bit troubled and have questions that I cannot ask him. I avoid bringing her up or asking questions, but listen attentively when he has something on his mind.

    I sometimes struggle with the idea that he may have loved her more than me (I know, it’s none of my business and I was fully aware of his past when I committed to him – I tend to take it in stride and just focus on *us* but still it niggles in the back of my head). And, sometimes I wonder if that’s why he focuses on the negative – in hopes that I don’t realize she was the love of his life.

    A little about us… He adores me, and would bring me the moon and the stars if I asked for them. He says he talks about me all the time to friends and coworkers. He also told me he spent his whole life (since age 14) dreaming about a woman who looked just like me, and couldn’t believe his eyes the first time we met. So, I guess I’m “the woman of his dreams.” He pursued me with fervor, and from first date to wedding was 15 months. I guess I’m also objectively attractive. He gets jealous intermittently (ex: I met a coworker of his, and the guy said to him, “This is your wife? Wow! You’re a lucky guy!” And my husband was miffed for days at this guy’s lack of respect.) He quit his second job so we could spend more time together. He routinely steps out of his comfort zone to make me happy. He told me he’s always dreamed of having “his” family, and we are currently en route, even though he’s in his mid-40s (I’m quite a bit younger).

    So Guy, what do you think? Why would he share with me these specific nuggets of information. Can you help stop the spinning in my head and give me some insight?

    Thank you.

    Your Highness The Reddest Rose,

    Welcome aboard. I love it when pretty women join us on this cruise on WhatWomenNeverHear.

    You describe two lives for your hubby. He feels guilty about the former, and men don’t handle guilt as women do. If men can do nothing, they just up and forget guilt. He appears to be trying. You can help by also forgetting his past.

    Accidentally or purposely, it appears hubby is doing a good job of recovery. He promotes his present life with positives that promote pleasant connections and memory building with you. In the paragraph, “A lttle about us…” you describe multiple actions that program his heart and mind affirmingly. New positive memories with you provide self-satisfaction that drives past dissatisfactions out of his life.

    You and he are blessed. I strongly suggest you quit trying to understand more of his past. His actions demonstrate he loves you. Let the past alone. As you describe his behavior, he just needs more of you in his life to help wipe out disappointments and dissatisfactions and forget the guilt.

    Guy

    • The Reddest Rose

      Sir Guy,

      Thank you for your response.

      I suppose I was hoping for a more concrete assessment.

      Letting go of his past is easier said than done. Her family is a regular source of stress for my husband, so I’m constantly doing damage control for the demons from his past that haunt him.

      Also, I’m the main point of contact for his daughter since they don’t get along very well. She will be coming to live with us once she finishes school. I have made it clear that I adore her and she is welcome in my life.

      His past has, and will always have, an indirect presence in our relationship.

      I feel guilty and ashamed of my inquisitiveness, but it is a shadow that looms large in my life. I am a discreet and respectful woman, so I have kept my internal thoughts and feelings to myself. Your writings and wisdom inspired confidence within me to seek your counsel.

      When you say, “… he is doing a good job of recovery,” what do you mean by recovery?

      Could you also please clarify why he still hasn’t shown me a photo of her? Is he afraid of what I will think? That I’ll judge? We’ve been to her grave together, and I’ve been alone (his daughter sometimes asks me to bring flowers since he doesn’t and she can’t). It feels so intimate to visit her resting place, and yet so bizarre to not know her face. (For the record, I only asked the one time, and have not brought it up since).

      Could you also direct me to some posts discussing male guilt so I can study up in the general sense? Or is it easy to search for this topic?

      I’m giving it my best to present myself to him as an understanding, compassionate angel. But, between you and me, I’m really just a mere human.

      Thank you kindly for your valuable time and patience.

      Your Highness The Reddest Rose,

      You are lower case, and I am UPPER.

      Thank you for your response. YOU’RE WELCOME.

      I suppose I was hoping for a more concrete assessment. OKAY, I’LL TRY.

      Letting go of his past is easier said than done. Her family is a regular source of stress for my husband, so I’m constantly doing damage control for the demons from his past that haunt him. SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE A GOOD WIFE FOR HANDLING INGRATITUDE. AND DAMAGE CONTROL IS A STRONG SUIT FOR WIVES WHO HAVE ALL THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERTISE. BE PROUD OF HOW YOU ARE CALLED ON TO SERVE. OTHERS CANNOT DO WITHOUT YOU, EVEN THO THEY MAY NEVER PASS THE PLAUDITS TO YOU.

      Also, I’m the main point of contact for his daughter since they don’t get along very well. She will be coming to live with us once she finishes school. I have made it clear that I adore her and she is welcome in my life. YOUR LAST SENTENCE SAYS IT ALL; YOU WILL LATER IF NOT SOON HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.
      His past has, and will always have, an indirect presence in our relationship. THAT’S THE TOUGHEST CHALLENGE YOU SEEM TO HAVE. IT’S WHAT HE NEEDS TO RECOVER FROM.

      I feel guilty and ashamed of my inquisitiveness, but it is a shadow that looms large in my life. I am a discreet and respectful woman, so I have kept my internal thoughts and feelings to myself. Your writings and wisdom inspired confidence within me to seek your counsel. DON’ QUIT LOOKING FOR HELP BUT REMEMBER THIS. YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST COUNSEL; ONLY YOU KNOW ALL THE HAPPENINGS THAT TORMENT YOU.

      When you say, “… he is doing a good job of recovery,” what do you mean by recovery? FORGETTING HIS PAST RELATIONSHIPS, GUILT, AND LIFE.

      Could you also please clarify why he still hasn’t shown me a photo of her? Is he afraid of what I will think? That I’ll judge? We’ve been to her grave together, and I’ve been alone (his daughter sometimes asks me to bring flowers since he doesn’t and she can’t). It feels so intimate to visit her resting place, and yet so bizarre to not know her face. (For the record, I only asked the one time, and have not brought it up since). SORRY, I CAN’T IMAGINE HIS BEHAVIOR ON THOSE COUNTS.

      Could you also direct me to some posts discussing male guilt so I can study up in the general sense? Or is it easy to search for this topic? TRY THESE POSTS: 1443, 1444, 1669, 1758, 1994, AND 2354.

      I’m giving it my best to present myself to him as an understanding, compassionate angel. But, between you and me, I’m really just a mere human. NO, A MARVELOUS HUMAN, KIND AND LOYAL WIFE, AND INTERESTING BLOG VISITOR.

      Thank you kindly for your valuable time and patience. YOU’RE WELCOME.

      GUY

      • 1jarofclay

        Love what you had to say here, Rose. Wonder what Sir Guy thinks about it.

      • The Reddest Rose

        Sir Guy,

        Your correspondence means more to me than you could know, and has certainly laid some issues to rest.

        I feel more capable of being a kind and loyal wife (as well as a marvelous human being 🙂 under your tutelage.

        I take notes and journal about many of your topic to better internalize the ideas. I’m enjoying slowly going backward through your posts, as well as eagerly anticipating what’s to come.

        Thank you for sharing your invaluable wisdom.

  2. Magnolia

    My goodness, this was fantastic!

  3. Femme

    “Men spread their seed liberally, mother-love raises the children that result, and life is all about women capturing men to help raise the next generation. That’s why we are all here, to fulfill God’s intent or Nature’s randomness”

    Wow!
    Why aren’t we taught this at school?
    Being reminded of this obvious but overlooked fact (our purpose here on Earth, I mean) was humbling and put a lot of things into perspective for me.
    Sir Guy, is there any chance we could clone you?

    Your Highness Femme,
    I credit you with the article scheduled to be posted Sunday, #2597. Thanks. I’m amazed and proud at how well and fast you have learned about men and women.
    Guy

  4. abbyjames77

    Sir Guy,
    It’s me again… 😦
    Afraid I’ve made a terrible blunder and respectfully requesting your advice. In this post you said “penetration is conquest.” I don’t know how to put it gently or tastefully so I’ll just say it: We have done everything except penetration. He still talks to me every day but is not very attentive… Is it possible for me to recover and keep the relationship? Or have I doomed myself to booty call or live without him?
    P.S. He is the one who doesn’t want full penetration…. What in the world is up with that?
    Sincerely,
    Your devoted fan, Abby

    Your Highness Abby,

    It seems this way to me. You seek to resurrect a relationship with a man of poor character who now has access to your body but won’t complete the act of intercourse and “is not very attentive.” Your ex exacts revenge on you out of the meanness of his poor character, because he can.

    Your misery is self-induced by hope determined to be fruitless years ago. He didn’t marry you then, why should he now?

    Scroll down to your questions and my comments of earlier years at post 1630 and the CONTENT page. I suggest the same actions now to rid your life of him.

    In SEP 2014 you say, “Everyone tells me I am unable to recover from the rejection because I’ve not slept with someone new.” In your case, ‘everyone’ would seem to be enlightened. In goes against principle, but after more than three fruitless years it might be the best thing for you. Your vow of celibacy may ill-serve you.

    Guy

  5. Southernbelle

    Sir Guy
    “Modern men rate women on another scale they call “crazy”…story for another time.”

    I would love to hear your story on this. I’ve heard men talk about their “crazy” ex. Im baffled though that many of these men stayed with these women they now call “crazy” for years. Hard to imagine these women suddenly became crazy overnight. Are men just not as good at seeing red flag crazy traits before getting married? Women sure can see this in other women pretty quickly and avoid associating too much or deeply to avoid the drama and stress these kind of women inevitably bring.Or are men just labeling women as “crazy” after breakup/divorce to avoid acknowledging their mistakes/faults? I know of a man divorced 3 times and lays fault with all 3 exs being crazy….seems to me it’s a quick cover to avoid his own shortcomings as a husband.

    Your Highness Southernbelle,

    It’s now the fashion. Women have been blaming men for years, and men now bounce back with crazy as their version of reviving masculine respect with more blame.

    You describe the latest way by which men put pressure on women for being more like men and less feminine, desirable, agreeable, and worthy of a man’s devotion.

    Guy

    • Southernbelle

      Sir Guy,

      Thank you for the prompt response! I’m not sure I understand your response in the second paragraph. Am I understanding correctly that a man’s claim of “crazy” is his all encompassing word for a woman who is less feminine or desirable? I kinda thought it was in reference to women being too emotional too much over every little thing or demanding her way all the time. Is that the same thing?

      Your Highness Southernbelle,

      Yes, as you say it. However, your last sentence causes results described in the previous one.

      ‘Crazy’ is the current nickname for everything men don’t like about women in their current copycat fashion. It varies by definition from man to man, whatever each dislikes personally. Unfortunately, the popularity of the term—loaded with enough truth to be humorous—means that man-think demeans women. Men are much more alike in thinking that women self-destruct their ability to be feminine, likeable, keepers, and desirable for anything other than sex.

      ‘Crazy’ is the fashionable tag for female behaviors that indirectly produce these results.

      • Men lay around irresponsibly without a woman for whom to be responsible.

      • Women release men to take advantage of their natural determination to screw without obligation.

      • Women ignore their ability to learn that sex doesn’t bond men.

      • Men don’t respect the woman who provides cheap and easy sex, i.e., unearned gift.

      • Men lose motivation to pursue girls and women who appear unworthy because of their endless chatter, appearance, femininity, or lack of respect of men and masculine behavior.

      • A woman not earned is easily disposable—or perhaps booty—in a man’s life.

      • Round-heel pushovers are unworthy of any obligation other than sex.

      • So many mature women seen in public dressed without feminine care and with empty ring fingers. They previously ‘escaped’ marriage and their performance led to the use of terms such as ‘crazy.’ Both the female trend and impact on masculine behavior have been developing and worsening for decades.

      ‘Crazy’ includes some truthfulness or it wouldn’t be funny. It should be a red flag that women wave in disfavor of their feminist-inspired, anti-male behavior. But don’t count on it happening. They will use it to further blame men and deepen the antagonisms and adversarial conflict between men and women with children caught in the vice grip of constant pressure to live as baggage.

      Guy

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