2609. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 18

After their high passionate moment the previous night, Hank gets fearsome thoughts. He has an alarming night’s sleep. Jenny defeated his magnificent plan to ensure their marriage lasts for sixty years based on his cherishing her, which he thought she would love. How could any man do better than to promise what he thought all women wanted?

Now he sweats. She never said anything about disliking him, just his plan and planning. She seemed sincere, but yet she smashed to bits his hopes for their future. Will she still marry him? They promised to do it, but after all, he hasn’t proposed so that she could take it as official. Does she even love him anymore? Just last night they had that promising and passionate session on the couch, out of which his sexual frustration still stings his spirit.

What was that she said? “You take care of our present together, and I’ll take care of our future.” She talks about my plan as unnecessary but she calls it worse. But she also alludes that we can still be married.

His feelings for her haven’t changed. But if she rejects his good intentions, wouldn’t her love be less? His plan is—or was—part of who he is. Her love at least has to lose some intensity, if she so deliberately rejects his efforts.

Thinking of misery without dating her, he worries that the strains he has caused just may cost him her love. How does he recover? Got to win her back, or so he reasons. He’s behind on the power curve. He’s also far behind on the trail to conquest.

Jenny realizes she has lost some respect for him. He has plenty logic, reason, and incentive to make plans. But common sense about marriage? She’s unsure. Oh, he knows how to cherish and take care of her, but he knows so little about relationship building, strengthening, and managing. She sees where her future has to take her, where her focus must be.

She questions this: Does he still cherish her with the same deliberation and dedication? She has to face it. Any drop off is a red flag. On the other hand, no drop off is a tender moment to be treasured—and maybe rewarded with more physical intimacy than she previously shared with him.

Love is never enough, but recovery is everything. Their next date is one to remember, doubly so. Hank’s likeability shines. He swears his loyalty, not directly but indirectly with descriptions of her feminine qualities and their appeal to him. He is so sincere in describing her as the perfect match for him, someone with whom he cannot do without.

He avoids dreams of what they can do together, but he showers her with pleasant sincerity wrapped in kind touching and a new technique of caressing her hands tenderly. She thinks, we can marry as soon as a couple of weeks; she needs no big wedding.

Out of the blue, he promises to love her cooking. He’s never tasted it, but he promises to never verbalize any criticism. She inquires and is astonished. “Nothing you ever do should disappoint you. You are too magnificent in my eyes, too good as a very feminine woman to suffer bad thoughts about yourself. So, even if you’re a lousy cook—or lovee by the way—you will never hear it from me. Goddesses come bundled just like you are now, and they ought to stay that way.”

They caress gently for several moments as she promises him that she still loves and intends to marry him, if he ever gets around to making it sound like it’s official. She would like some bragging rights before she dresses for the altar, she smilingly reassures him.

Peacock proud, he smilingly resumes his self-conceived role of grand-high hero that she adores. She likes to look up at it, so let him be her down-to-earth moon at which to stare. “Okay, darling. Tomorrow night we’ll go to Luigi’s, our first-together and favorite dinner. Then, we can hangout at my place. I’ll pick you up at seven.”


Hank’s remembrance of their courtship ended just before he arrived home. Feeling again the pride of successful recovery after offending her with his grand plan for their marriage, he stopped remembering and returned to the present.

He had let her off after giving her a diamond ring. She now had bragging rights, and they were picking a wedding day tomorrow after she consulted with her mother and Hank joined them later.

Not that she needed or even wanted mom’s help, but she wanted to coach mom in order to promote Hank’s friendship with his mother-in-law. Without their friendship, a bleak cloud of disappointment would cover her marriage. Actually, her primal urge to generate a brighter future would begin with their friendship. And brighter still, when mother-in-law and son-in-law morphed themselves into her home team. One as the primary driver in the foreground of her life; the other flourishing as helper in the background. Or, so she dreamed.


AUTHOR’S NOTE: Who is Responsible for Marital Success? In this story, I tried to show that successful marriage emerges when the husband is responsible, but I showed the opposite even before they married.

Not really surprising, but I couldn’t relieve wives of that responsibility. Of course, Hank could have done a better job and in the process of writing I considered several other options. But regardless of his choices as the supposed marital leader, he could not have persuaded Jenny that he could provide her a brighter future than she could provide for them as a couple.

A woman’s brighter future comes from her conditioning the thoughts of her man to work toward her ideas, intentions, and connections that make them a successful couple with a promising—bright for her and challenging for him—future together.

I’m new at story telling. It’s debatable whether my assertion that men live in the present and women live for the future shaped the outcome of my story? Thereby, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or did the story prove my conclusion of how the sexes differ in the way they focus on time? I tried for the latter, but you decide.

A pretty reader mentioned that I continue the story into Hank and Jenny’s married life. I’m uncertain it would be beneficial. As I re-read it, it’s not as good as I expected and readers are particularly shy of commenting. It seems to say commenters are not stimulating deeper interest among others from the story as they do from other articles.

Consequently, I see it as more monologue than dialogue, and the latter seems to generate the most rewards for my blog energies.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

11 responses to “2609. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 18

  1. gonemaverick

    Jenny’s hard-headedness won. She even got Hank to soften his stance on the marriage contract. Really liked the fact that the author acknowledged the ‘episodes’ of unbridled passion which makes it hard to remain chaste. But holding out til marriage if a girl can, is still the best way to go. Bravo!

  2. msarianne

    My dear Sir Guy,
    This provided me with the opportunity to see a man take charge of the plans for the future. Something lacking when I was married. I learned some things. Among them…when to keep still and quiet and be patient with a man to see what he has to say. Loved it!
    Great story.

  3. Jennifer

    Hmmm I was wondering how Jenny would go about asking Hank if she could be come a stay at home wife and eventual mother upon marriage but seems like she’ll be working…

    Your Highness Jennifer,
    I might find a way to develop that story. At least I’ll try during my next two days off.

  4. Wants to know

    “It’s debatable whether my assertion that men live in the present and women live for the future shaped the outcome of my story? Thereby, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or did the story prove my conclusion of how the sexes differ in the way they focus on time?”

    Dear Sir Guy,
    Personally I would prefer Jenny’s attitude of working out things mostly as they come (it is too hard to predict without knowing every detail in each case). I hope, though I am unsure, that I answered the question 🙂 For me, my shyness for commenting I must admit comes from some of the later articles going a little over my head, at least for how much I have read and learned at this time. My uninitiated self relied on implication for discerning which moves were successful and which were not. But I have visited every day in anticipation of what came next.

    Have a nice day everyone 🙂

    Your Highness Want to Know,
    What a delightful comment. Thank you. Very encouraging too.

  5. Southernbelle

    Sir Guy

    I’ve withheld comment because I’m finding it difficult to relate to this story. It seems this is all happening in a matter of weeks where as real world seems to be much longer. I can’t help but wonder what are “real world” men thinking who take much longer to proceed through these steps and how long is too long for a chaste lady’s patience to bear and stay quiet and mysterious?

    Your Highness SouthernBelle,
    I’m not a story teller; it was first attempt. And I agree with what you say, plus a lot of other shortcomings I can spotlight.

    • Southernbelle

      I’m still mulling over this idea that women are more future oriented which definitely resonates with me and men are more “today” oriented. I think what may seem to women as a foolish decision or lack of thinking through end result of decisions is really this short-sightedness or present day thinking that is inherent in male nature. I cringe when I hear women say “how could he be so stupid…” or some similar phrase in regards to her man or men in general. However I do empathize with concern on trusting his futuredecision making if men don’t really change. Sir could you help elucidate this more (if I’m on the right track) and provide some guidance on how to fairly size up a MrGoodenough’s decision-making while still protecting a lady’s future.

      Your Highness Southernbelle,

      The one most fearful of losing the other will lose.

      I thought how Jennifer handled Hank’s plan for their future worked not only well but was necessary to protect her future. In short, she took charge and invited him to pass on her if that’s his preference to her insistence. Dominance requires less fear than that of the one to be temporarily dominated.


  6. Jessie

    I like this story-telling format. I find it much easier to read a chapter of a short story than an article.

    Your Highness Jessie,

    Welcome aboard. I love it when pretty women join us on this cruise on WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Thanks for the input. Last night I had an idea for describing random events in the lives of Hank and Jenny. You may like it if I can work it out.

  7. Femme

    Sir Guy
    does Hank at any point get scared that the relationship between him and Jenny might fizzle out in a physical sense? That he will stop finding her attractive?

    Your Highness Femme,
    No, not unless she changes and her attractiveness vaporizes. IOW, she becomes someone different than he fell for.

  8. Femme

    Thank you, Sir Guy 🙂
    So… It would appear that if a man has those fears (and even verbalises them) he ALREADY is feeling something is missing in that department?
    Am I understanding correctly?

    Your Highness Femme,
    I don’t understand what you are asking. What fears? If he loses interest, he’s not fearful of losing her. If he’s fearful of losing her, she’s still attractive to him.

  9. Femme

    Oh boy.
    I don’t have a way with words, it seems.
    I will try again: a man told me once that he was afraid our relationship would fizzle out…
    I didn’t know what he meant and didn’t want to ask but kind of assumed that he was already losing interest and broke it off at some point.
    I figured it was better to be the dumpee than to continue seeing him and investing myself emotionally.

    Your Highness Femme,

    You have a good way with words. One disconnect does not make a poor communicator.

    It sounds like his mention to cause the relationship to fizzle was a threat to convince you to yield to his conquest. You were right to break it off, or he would have done the same immediately or soon after conquest.


  10. Femme

    When you put it like that, Sir Guy, it finally makes sense. A red flag for future reference?
    If a man, however, has to resort to a threat like that to get a woman into bed… What does it say about him and his beliefs about himself?
    Low self worth?
    I wonder.

    Your Highness Femme,
    Yes, low self-respect because he lacks respect for others. Low self-image and probably low self-esteem because he has to make himself feel good at someone else’s expense. Low self-worth because of he is unwilling to work out a solution to his ambitions with the target of his ambition.


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