2615. Pretty Time

Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady claims, “The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.” If not her behavior, then her appearance must determine lady-like treatment. My late wife, Her Majesty Grace, repeated this many times: “If she dresses like a whore, she is treated like a whore.” Again, appearance touted as critical to how a woman will be treated.

Women can’t motivate men or change men’s minds about judging women. Women can only motivate themselves to change themselves, and thereby hope and figure that men’s judgments will become more favorable and somehow morph into better treatment. Two factors play vital roles in such relationship development. Attractiveness triggers the start up. Conquest stops the high rate of previous development.

Boiled down to the essence, either women pay more attention to their personal attractiveness every day, or men will continue to find them less and less adequate for mating. No man wants to be seen associating permanently with a less than attractive mate. It is not women, it is the male nature, the way they are born as competitors.

Women have been propagandized into adopting masculine-style sexual freedom. The sexual revolution was designed by radical feminists to make enemies of men and women—a political objective. It worked primarily by blaming men for the problems of women.

Even though it works to the marital disadvantage of women, they exploit masculine-style sexual freedom. It motivates them to dress sexually attractive and yield more easily to conquest, both of which make them poorer wives as potential husbands judge them.

Men don’t marry for sex, they marry for a good woman upon whom they can depend to provide the essentials for husbandly life to grow per his wishes. He’s simple; love is never enough. Faithful husbands need three things. Satisfied with her as his woman, satisfied that he likes living with her, and satisfied that his marriage is working to his advantage and compensating for yielding his independence. All of which makes her that much more valuable to him, provided she promotes her own attractiveness.

Nowadays, in hope of establishing relationships, modern women assume the role of seller with men as buyer, a reversal of their natural roles. Women now expect to prove their worth to earn a man, and they use sex as coin of the realm. They mistakenly think it makes them unique, but sex organs are similar in all women, so where does a woman’s uniqueness come from? Her unique virtues emanate out of her mind, heart, character, and personality. Women’s wishes to the contrary, men don’t marry for sex; it’s a sideline benefit but neither prime motivator nor prime keeper of a husband’s dedication.

Women use sex for leverage without grasping these facts. Sex neither bonds a man as it does a woman, nor holds him with any permanency, nor makes her unique, nor makes her the virtuous woman that men seek to marry. IOW, by women using sex to attract a man, it causes them to end up as more sex target than marriage target.

Even worse for women, provided with cheap and easy unmarried sex, men miss the experience of discovering a woman’s virtues. Positive qualities that each man admires and considers to be virtues.

Men uncover a woman’s virtues while studying her for weaknesses to facilitate conquest. After bedding her the first time, he quits looking for weaknesses, the result of which is the virtual end of discovering qualities he can admire. He paid whatever price she expected for conquest, which means he need do nothing more to understand her better. In principle, he owns their sexual agenda and, by inference, her.

Thus, relationship development is severely curtailed by both conquest and lack of wearing attractive, complementary, and clean and well-groomed attire.

A man wants last to see his wife treated by others as a sex target. Instead, he wants her seen so attractive that his male competitors admire his having captured her, and respect him that she now belongs to him.

When a husband is so satisfied that he values his marriage above his independence, he has married a good wife. Out of that satisfying arrangement, faithfulness and fidelity emerge and grow.

Thus, attractive attire and grooming and delay of conquest prolong the development of relationships until potential husbands truly appreciate her attractiveness, and it becomes enhanced by her virtues discovered accidentally while looking for ways to conquer her.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, The mind

10 responses to “2615. Pretty Time

  1. gonemaverick

    Much needed reinforcement. Have never forgotten what you said about this subject some years ago, “People act and are treated according to the way they’re dressed at the time. If you dress skuzzy, you’ll be treated that way.” It has proved true over and over in my life.

  2. Ahh, so well said. Pretty time is so absolutely vital to our well being as women. It doesn’t matter if we’re 9 or 90, we need to invest in our appearance,because that is what is going to make us feel good, lift our spirits.

    LOL, attracting some appreciation from men is just the frosting on the cake or the cherry on the sunday! The first thing it does is improve our own attitude and sense of well being. One of the tragedies in the modern world is that women are discouraged away from this or shamed for actually embracing it. We’re directed towards things like cutting our hair, accepting weight gain, and either masculinizing ourselves or over sexualizing our dress and appearance.

    I often cut my hair in my life, even though hubby kept telling me he likes it long. That was cultural pressure, advice from girl friends, all sorts of issues that revolve around not believing it is okay to embrace your femininity. Today I Iook better, feel better, and hubby is happier.

    • I agree about the encouragement to accept weight gain .

      • Well, yes. I’m all for loving ourselves and not obsessing over such things, but we’ve taken it to an extreme in our culture. Good health is important and too much weight can cause us problems. It’s not very loving to tell women to just accept something that can do us so much harm. Get healthy because that too helps you to feel good about yourself. 🙂

  3. Cynthia

    Pretty time does so much wonders to your self esteem, every women should be required to take part in it. You can’t help but sit straighter, walk taller, or smile brighter when you know you look your prettiest. There are so many perks to being an attractive woman. The guys at my job and complete male strangers will hold the door for me, help me with heavy objects, and compliment my sense of style. I don’t think I have ever gotten more compliments by both men and women prior to engaging in pretty time! To think there was a time I despise being a woman and had so much envy for the opposite sex.

    Guy, what are your thoughts on a woman who has sex with a guy in an exclusive relationship after dating three months prior? However she maintains both an attractive personality, meaning she acts like a lady and let’s the man lead, and outer appearance. Can the relationship be salvaged? Is that the loop hole in all this? I keep thinking what if after conquest, she continues to remain attractive in the ways mentioned above? What keeps the guy coming back? What motivates him to marry her?

    Your Highness Cynthia,

    You ask, “Can the relationship be salvaged? Is that the loop hole in all this?” Perhaps. As you describe it, he may already be devoted to you. He may be learning to pledge himself to you. Any actions signs? Or red flags that could portend the opposite?

    Ask yourself: Just what is he particularly interested in? Finding out about who and what you are? Your interests? Your hobbies? Your tastes? Your character? Your beliefs? Your family? Your favorite…? Listening to you or just himself and the TV or other people?

    “I keep thinking what if after conquest, she continues to remain attractive in the ways mentioned above?” It makes her much more attractive and appealing to his interests. Does he see any connections between his interests and hers that might suggest that he detects some interesting points about compatibility?

    “What keeps the guy coming back?” Sex for one and maybe the only thing. That’s the toughest part for her. Figuring what’s behind his motivation to show up.

    “What motivates him to marry her?” Figuring out that he can’t live without her, and that’s the most honorable way for him to access convenient and frequent sex.

    Watch for Monday’s article and a gal feeling pressured to shift from shack up to marriage.


    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Cynthia,
      The article I mentioned for Monday isn’t finished. It may be Wednesday before I post it.

  4. Thank you once again, Sir Guy. I was a teenager in the 70s. In that time and in the place I lived, t-shirts and jeans were the go-to clothes for me and I’ve never really gotten out of that. I know I need to. I want to. I am determined to wear more woven rather than knit, but I’m slow in getting there. I’m sure Sir Husband would love for me to be more attractive. If it’s okay, I thought of this song that my teenager introduced me to. The words kind of go along with what you have said. Delete this if I’ve over-stepped a rule here:

  5. Cynthia

    Hi Guy,

    It’s me, Cynthia. I was reading some of your older articles and a few questions came to mind. Would you be able to provide examples of how a woman, intentionally or unintentionally, shows her devotion to a guy, especially if she plays the role of buyer? Maybe another way to ask this question is how does a man tests a woman devotion if he is the seller? Thank you!

    Your Highness Cynthia,

    Why show her devotion to a guy? He doesn’t need it. If she acts like she could love and accept him, he’s more than satisfied. Anything else, and she makes herself the seller.

    Except as he overcomes her objections, he’s not too interested in what she’s buying. He only thinks about selling himself to her. The smart buyer listens and offers nothing until she’s ready to buy into his ability to deliver on his offers to produce what she seeks more than anything else or by anyone else.


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