Many major motivators come out of our biological history; all provided to ensure that our species doesn’t die off. They shape our lives more dramatically than women realize or men care. Our amazing design inheritance that began at post 2631 continues here. I describe different but compatible motivations that arise from the genders.
Men are what they do; they compete independently to dominate the what of living life together. Women are who they are; they dependently cooperate to dominate the how of living life together. He focuses on the present, as he can handle what’s coming tomorrow. She focuses on the future, to make it easier for what he faces tomorrow.
- Competition vs. Cooperation. Everyone wants to get his way. Women need and prefer peace in both their relationships and raising offspring. Intuitively, relationship peace comes easier when women persuade men to honor the female way of life instead of women trying directly to get their way with men. Cooperate as will husbands and wives to live together amicably, they continually compete. Each with opposed motivational intent to get their way with the other, he mostly in the present, she mostly for their future. It matters considerably who dominates the present and their future together, but two complimentary genders manage to work it out amidst eight different mixtures of love and sex drives.
- Dominant Gender. Men can get their way by force—physical, emotional, trickery—or the willingness of a woman to yield to a man’s persona. Men have little else to work with associating with the same woman over time. Consequently, relationships are the work of woman, at least the wives.
- Superior Gender. Women sense it but instinctively do not disclose that female is the superior gender. Men are dominant. However, unclaimed and unadvertised superiority can render male dominance peaceful. Apparently the weaker of the two sexes, women are endowed with expertise capable of resisting and even overcoming male dominance. They are able to persuade men to give up their independent lives for the sake of helping fulfill female hopes and dreams. It’s mostly done in the arena of love and sex.
- Female Love. The female nature is flooded with two kinds of love. One is mind- and heart-driven but subject to change or termination, conditional and not permanent. The other is more powerfully and permanently energized by specially designed hormones energized by pregnancy and giving birth; we call it mother-love. It motivates women to influence men to join up as couples for life. Being so unique and unchangeable, it has a hormone-driven counterpart in the male nature. Women understand mother love, but they can’t fathom its male counterpart.
- Male Love. Men are what they do. Born with two different versions of love, men find love as they fulfill their sense of responsibility and duty. It shapes who they are and what they do to sustain that love. As an offshoot, they can find under the proper relationship conditions that they can and do love a woman. Love of children is a function of the masculine sense of being responsible for them and what goes with them.
- Female Sex Drives. As men do, women have two sex drives. Physiological desire to conceive and psychological desire to confirm her importance in life and value to her man.
- Male Sex Drives. The male nature is flooded with two very different sex drives. Both are hormone driven, but one is more so and is unique and unchangeable. As intense and unchanging as the female counterpart of mother-love, the primary version motivates men to endlessly chase attractive women, conquest only on their mind.
It boils down to this. Mother-love and a man’s primal drive to initiate first time sex with attractive women are virtual equivalents in terms of their importance in life and propagation of the species. Men spread their seed; mothers keep children close to more effectively raise them, and we keep multiplying just as God figured we would.
I don’t know if God planned or handled it, but women perceived millennia ago that they were disadvantaged. Men got the most pleasure, while women got the heaviest burden.
It was a raw environment, however, so God also made us compatible, gave us free-will, enabled us to grow a self-image, let us aim at getting our way, motivated us through self-interest, and taught that competition produced the best results for everyone, but women were specially designed to exploit cooperation to better get their way in life.
Out of that scramble, the superior sex led the dominant gender into both lifetime commitment as couples and dedicated to marriage as relationship glue. Who said she’s the weaker sex?