Anticipating later shifting to the strategy for courtship success, I continue elaborating on the strategy for marital success.
Both sexes are born to get their way. It’s the mother of human competition. Both learn early in life it’s not possible all the time, but everyone keeps trying. Neither sex loses that natural urge, however, when they can gain advantage.
Women are especially strong at shifting to cooperation to get their way, whereas men are not so inclined and especially with women. Women succeed by cooperating and thus calming or neutralizing the masculine urge to compete. It’s a natural ability and her willingness to use it is a basis of her charm.
Women compete assiduously before marriage to protect their chastity. Men compete constantly to overcome their resistance. Wives cooperate assiduously to keep their man. Men back off competing to support their wife’s sense of cooperation, especially when it uplifts their husbandly status. She shines up his admirable masculine image, and he bows to another maternal judgment aimed at keeping him for her children.
Her love is never enough. What love is to women, satisfaction is to men. Women are motivated to love others and by doing so they satisfy themselves; they are gratified by sharing it and so the urge never ends. They love others to please themselves; it’s the way they are designed by God, endowed by Nature, and energized by hormones.
Female love holds family members together; it’s the major glue of family maintenance. Men lack the self-love that women possess. Manly love focuses on hitting targeted achievements, overcoming difficult tasks, defeating tough opponents, and shaping human events. A man loves more what he does than who he is, quite the opposite of women.
Where women share their love, men tend to keep it to themselves. His love having been converted from what he is to who she is, it doesn’t shine near as brightly as hers. Uneasy on the issue of love by their nature, men are unable to compete with women in the sharing of love. So, they don’t try hard. They take a more virtuous path in the masculine mind where love is centered on what a man does, his responsibility, his duty.
Single men are service units waiting to be called by a resourceful woman. They are endowed with both ability and mindset to provide and protect those who need it. IOW, bachelors are ‘on call’ for those who solicit their service and reward their effort with a satisfying marriage. From accomplishments on behalf of those for whom he provides and protects, he can love all that he does and all for whom he does it. Investment of himself generates love for those he provides and protects; his heart follows his actions.
Whereas her love aims to keep others satisfied with themselves and their associations, his love surrounds his responsibility and his self-defined effectiveness fulfilling the connected duties. His love weakens with her doubts about his effectiveness. Questioning his performance means he’s under appreciated, under respected, and not depended upon. He begins to wonder about departure.
Only women have the ability to inspire men to marry and care for a family. Lacking that situation in which to produce, prove, and satisfy themselves, men turn to other interests, such as dodging marriage and chasing women exclusively for sex.