I know most of you gals look for WAYS and WHAT to do to improve your relationship record; e.g., rules. I think the WHY and HOW you do something is more essential for success; e.g., mindset. So, I now focus on tying some things together before we get to the details.
Why aren’t modern gals more successful with men? When specialists can’t succeed in their own specialty, i.e., relationships, their attitude reflects a mindset that more responsibility can improve. Modern-day relationship specialists ignore their natural talent, ability, and attraction and believe things that hurt their cause.
Change one’s attitude and they change their life. But nobody wants to change their attitude. It’s too personal; it reflects who they are. Furthermore, one can’t just up and directly change what’s in their heart. It has to be replaced by another attitude that arises out of a different belief. Replace one belief with another and one’s attitude changes.
So, I shall not encourage you to change and make your life better. Instead, I’ll describe what’s inside you, several beliefs different from those you carry around hunting a good man. You can decide if and how you want to believe any of the following.
Undeveloped and mistaken beliefs hold women back as they try to embolden men to pursue them in courtship. Poor attitudes flow out of women who stick to pop culture values, standards, and expectations. The following are roots of female common sense for dealing with men.
- Being the relationship expert, each woman is responsible to prompt whatever manly behavior supports and energizes one man’s pursuit of her. IOW, she does whatever prompts him to earn her and not the other way around. She leads indirectly as if in background mode, gives up little for nothing, appreciates his investment of himself in her, but doesn’t reveal that she’s similarly invested. Without accepting full responsibility for relationship success and failure, she doesn’t learn from relationship turmoil or failure. It’s too easy to blame the guy, especially the one who dumps her, and it closes her mind to self-improvement.
- Women are born to be good and motivated to do good. They confirm goodness by doing good, and it makes them more appealing and worthy in the eyes of selves and others. Especially men, who are born with the ability to do good but not motivated to be good. Any drive to be good interferes with their competitive drive to get what they want. It takes a good woman to influence a man to exploit his ability to do good, usually to please her, and thus he too becomes good. Women don’t talk about it, but it underwrites the hopes and wishes they have of improving their husband over the years. His doing good makes her even better. Seldom does a woman seek to make her husband worse than he already is in her eyes. It all, however, begins in courtship; if she isn’t good and tries to do good, her credibility does not convince him to follow her example.
- The natural and excited urge of females to share their love motivates a gal to spread her words of love and affection. It’s a mistake in courtship. Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, her freely given love earns her little or nothing in return. In dating and courtship, she should make pursuers earn her loving words. Far better for her to make guys earn every little favor she shows them. Everything is to be earned, if she is to be won; e.g., third date before first kiss; avoid passionate moments until she decides; his devotion appears before she offers those three little words. Her affectionate actions convince more effectively that he’s truly loved; much better than her words of love. It works because guys believe what they figure out more than what they are told. It also self-encourages them to try harder to impress or please her, and their actions program their heart to favor her more over time, and out of which arises his devotion. Men don’t just walk away from their lengthy investments, so time encourages his greater investment, tendency to bond, and devotion development.More common sense about virtue, femininity, respect, and political opposition follow next.