2649. — Strategy for Courtship — 03: The Process I

Her Highness Msarianne inspired this article. She asks at post 2270 how a lady can get a man to feel [a very exciting] sort of love toward her.

A lady can’t, but the subject makes a good beginning to the courtship process.

He’s in charge of concluding that he’s in love. Also, he recognizes that he’s already qualified to satisfy her wants and needs. A man has to fall in love by himself, but it arises out of who she is, what she does, why she does it, and how she handles him.

WHO. To him she is always very attractive, more than most gals. She possesses qualities he can admire as virtues. She is confident of her feminine self. Independently and with determination, she enjoys her likeable personality and guards her roles in life that reveal no desire to be like a man. She’s different and proud of it.

WHAT. She is an imposing character/girlfriend/woman in his presence and one of whom he’s proud when among other men and women. He enjoys her company more than that of others and often prefers it to his own. She earns his respect as woman and potential mate, and she does it primarily by refusing conquest and secondarily by her accomplishments that he can admire. She doesn’t try to convince him of her love; honest attempts by her too easily make him think she’s desperate, which undermines his respect of her.

WHY. She focuses her attention on what he does and especially on what he says. She listens so attentively that he admires her good taste and judgment. She tempers any contradictions she might have with the charm of an ardent supporter but with an ounce for him to reconsider. He may be off base, but she doesn’t tag him out.

HOW. She treats him as her king without explaining, complaining, or disclosing why she feels that way. She lets her actions speak. She has a special way of eliminating his fears of losing her but not his doubts about it. She doesn’t let him be certain that she is his. She observes and encourages his devotion to rise out of his actions taken for the purpose of pleasing her. She keeps disappointing events to herself except those that shock her or may disqualify him.

He figures out all those things without depending on her words to convince him. IOW, it’s not what she says but what she does. From which he concludes not only that he likes her but wants more of her charming ways and feminine style in his life. Captivated by her likeability and presence, he wants more of it.

Women should aim their ambitions toward those points above, and slow their eagerness to bring three little words into play before the guy does. Even after he claims to love her, she should not confirm her own love until he proves it with actions that match his words. It takes several or many months for a man to determine that he wants her more than he wants sex with her. The difference becomes evident to him as his devotion grows, and she becomes more attractive or important than his single life.

In summary, she is hard to get both sexually and otherwise. Never a sure thing, she always encourages his effort to win her hand—even if she has no intent to marry him when they start going together.


Filed under courtship, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

6 responses to “2649. — Strategy for Courtship — 03: The Process I

  1. msarianne

    Awww thank you Sir Guy!
    I appreciate your article in response to my question. Looking forward to this series. ❤

  2. gonemaverick

    Brilliant piece.

  3. Mrs. Impatient

    Hi Sir Guy,

    Is there anyway to inspire a man to propose sooner rather than later. I recently had an intentions talk with a man I’ve been dating for a little under a year now. He revealed to me he wants to continue dating for two years before he takes the relationship to another level. He knows I’m waiting until marriage to have sex so why he would not propose sooner so he can sex me up makes me scratch my head. How can I inspire his impatience and fire up his imagination? Frankly, I do not have two years to wait.

    Your Highness Mrs. Impatient,

    I suspect his intention to delay is to put more pressure on you to yield sooner. How can you inspire his impatience and fire up his imagination? Work on his decision making process.

    He won’t do it exactly like this, but you can work on it as if he does. His proposal hinges on this single thought: Am I satisfied more with my single life than I will be satisfied living with her? How can you make his single life less attractive than living with you, or make the latter potentially more satisfying than the former?

    Look for action to make your point; your words and your promises carry little weight. What he figures out means much more to him. Examples: You find reasons to justify fewer dates; it may rattle his satisfaction with single life. Or, your greater attractiveness with fewer opportunities for passonate moments may also help.


    • Mrs. Impatient


      You’re a genius! Funny you suggest seeing him less because yesterday he suggested we see each other more. Normally we just do dinner Saturday night but now he’s wants to get together over the weekdays and plan day trips on the weekend. I love this game of chess titled “who will surrender first” we’re playing. It’s very exciting and I intend to win. With that said, I’ll save our get together for the weekend.

  4. Southernbelle

    . Never a sure thing, she always encourages his effort to win her hand—even if she has no intent to marry him when they start going together.

    Sir Guy will you please elaborate on what it means to encourage his effort to win her hand regardless of whether she’s decided he’s husband worthy?

    Your Highness Southern Belle,
    To make or encourage him to like you, respect you, and enjoy your company.

  5. Southern Belle

    In regards to your response to my earlier inquiry above, how? What does this look like?

    Your Highness Southern Belle,

    • You encourage him to like you by smiling a lot while looking at his face and in his eyes.

    • You earn his respect by listening to him describe how great he is to you and your future.

    • You get him to enjoy your company by being as likeable as you can be. Neither argumentative nor contrary to what men like to see in a woman, e.g., very feminine, modest, and mysterious and thereby presumed to be virtuous.


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