Her Highness Msarianne inspired this article. She asks at post 2270 how a lady can get a man to feel [a very exciting] sort of love toward her.
A lady can’t, but the subject makes a good beginning to the courtship process.
He’s in charge of concluding that he’s in love. Also, he recognizes that he’s already qualified to satisfy her wants and needs. A man has to fall in love by himself, but it arises out of who she is, what she does, why she does it, and how she handles him.
WHO. To him she is always very attractive, more than most gals. She possesses qualities he can admire as virtues. She is confident of her feminine self. Independently and with determination, she enjoys her likeable personality and guards her roles in life that reveal no desire to be like a man. She’s different and proud of it.
WHAT. She is an imposing character/girlfriend/woman in his presence and one of whom he’s proud when among other men and women. He enjoys her company more than that of others and often prefers it to his own. She earns his respect as woman and potential mate, and she does it primarily by refusing conquest and secondarily by her accomplishments that he can admire. She doesn’t try to convince him of her love; honest attempts by her too easily make him think she’s desperate, which undermines his respect of her.
WHY. She focuses her attention on what he does and especially on what he says. She listens so attentively that he admires her good taste and judgment. She tempers any contradictions she might have with the charm of an ardent supporter but with an ounce for him to reconsider. He may be off base, but she doesn’t tag him out.
HOW. She treats him as her king without explaining, complaining, or disclosing why she feels that way. She lets her actions speak. She has a special way of eliminating his fears of losing her but not his doubts about it. She doesn’t let him be certain that she is his. She observes and encourages his devotion to rise out of his actions taken for the purpose of pleasing her. She keeps disappointing events to herself except those that shock her or may disqualify him.
He figures out all those things without depending on her words to convince him. IOW, it’s not what she says but what she does. From which he concludes not only that he likes her but wants more of her charming ways and feminine style in his life. Captivated by her likeability and presence, he wants more of it.
Women should aim their ambitions toward those points above, and slow their eagerness to bring three little words into play before the guy does. Even after he claims to love her, she should not confirm her own love until he proves it with actions that match his words. It takes several or many months for a man to determine that he wants her more than he wants sex with her. The difference becomes evident to him as his devotion grows, and she becomes more attractive or important than his single life.
In summary, she is hard to get both sexually and otherwise. Never a sure thing, she always encourages his effort to win her hand—even if she has no intent to marry him when they start going together.