Women love to share their love of someone. Many intuitively find it difficult not to do so. OTOH, men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Without his having earned whatever she gives—e.g., love or other signs of her appreciation of him—it will at least be under appreciated and may be meaningless to him. If he doesn’t have to earn her, he doesn’t invest himself and match his interests up with hers. It’s the definition of he’s not worthy of her.
By her providing unearned gifts, she discourages his investing of himself in their mutual concerns. Consequently, he may stay awhile, but he sees no reason to stick around. By giving away her appreciation, love, or sex in fear that she will lose him, she plants the seeds and soon harvests the crop of his dumping or later abandoning her.
- Men in courtship are much the same as in marriage; they expect to satisfy themselves with themselves and their life. He dates and courts an attractive and likeable woman who satisfies and adds to his satisfaction with life today. Any promise he foresees living together with her adds to the potential of satisfying him today and not in the future that she so eagerly envisions. IOW, he’s mostly concerned with his present more than his future life.
- In spite of her belief that she’s in charge with her love and personal likeability, success does not begin until he becomes devoted to her. His devotion arises out of his investment of time and effort to please her, because she’s so likeable to be around as woman or sex target.
- His conversion from liking her to devotion to her triggers his conversion from her as sex target to her as more important than sex with her.
- It’s how they interact cooperatively that makes courtship move onward. However, a man is too independent and competitive to value cooperation and mutual interaction as the main keys to success as a couple. So, if progress is in the air, she probably put it there.
- A man can’t love well, if he’s not respected and admired. Success follows the gal who respects and admires a man as the main pathway to earning his love. Showing her devotion is not the same thing. Always trying to please him shows up in his eyes as she needs him, which is not the compliment she intends. He loses respect because she acts desperate, too fearful of losing him.
- Women can and like to show their love suddenly and easily, but men can’t, don’t, or won’t. Her best tactic is to make him earn her love, and not give it so freely that he figures he already has her under his dominance.
- Until his love fully develops much later, the early match up with her love of him is his respect she has earned and his admiration of qualities that appear as her virtues. Combined with holding his interest high, his respect and admiration confirm or help develop his devotion to her.
- It begins in dating and continues in courtship. He earns her and not the reverse. When a man sees that a woman has totally invested herself in him, he has it made so to speak, and he can quit or ease off trying. The challenge is reduced or gone. Fewer manly actions mean less devotion, and it has to do less with her than with his nature to be efficient and not waste effort.
- Mutual likeability, mutual respect, and mutual loyalty convince a man to neutralize his inborn nature to conquer others. She either wins his loyalty to her exclusively, or his conquering nature remains tied to finding sex elsewhere.
- Men respect those who earn their respect. Until they conquer each female, they highly value her sexual assets more than her. So, the more protective of her assets and delay of his conquest, the more easily and the more of a man’s respect she earns.
A man’s devotion to a woman is the hallmark of impending success in courtship. More to follow.