2653 — Strategy for Courtship — 05: Where Women Go Wrong—II

Both sexes are born to get their way. Consequently, competition thrives as the primary motivator to drive human interaction. Being the man’s game, however, competition doesn’t work well for women across gender lines.  Ancestors mastered the art that enabled women to get their way, but modern pressures seem to disconnect women from that artistry.

Recognizing themselves as dominant, men compete naturally against Nature, men, and to shape human events. However, they avoid competing directly with women, especially their own. If confronted or pushed by women, men make sure they win. The male psyche avoids losing self-respect by losing to a weaker opponent. It’s not her losing as much as his nature winning.

Recognizing themselves as the physically weaker sex, women learn early in life to win against men. They succeed by specializing in cooperation rather than competition. (Conquest is the exception but a story for elsewhere.)

Cooperation enables women to compete with men indirectly, patiently, and in background rather than with confrontation. Depending on indirectness and patience, each develops the ability to outwit, outsmart, or outmaneuver her man in order to eventually get her way. When not overdone into manipulation, it has the effect of keeping her man satisfied with her and also confirms and satisfies her natural need of self-importance.

Done without disturbing husband’s satisfaction with her, a wife can even make her competitive man appreciate her way of getting her way. Dating, courtship, and engagement are battle grounds for each woman to earn her spurs for marriage. Spurs she can use to eventually get her way in domestic matters that generates marital success.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, sex differences

9 responses to “2653 — Strategy for Courtship — 05: Where Women Go Wrong—II

  1. Fascinating girl

    Sir Guy,

    Does the Bible support remarry after divorce? I read the Bible permits but does not require divorce if one partner engages in adultery. The innocent may remarry without guilt. However, unless one of the partner dies -dissolving the original marriage- to divorce on any other grounds mentioned above and remarry would be commiting adultery. Additionally, if adultery was not the cause of the divorce and both partners have remained pure since then, they should reconcile their marriage.

    What are your thoughts?

    Your Highness Fascinating Girl,
    I am not that good of an authority on the Bible versus modern law. Let me beg off and some reader may be authoritative enough for you.

    • msarianne

      Lady Fascinating Girl,
      Jesus ‘ teaching in the bible regarding divorce was that a man who divorced his wife for reason other than immorality(adultery) and she marries another causes her to commit adultery. A person whose spouse commits adultery may divorce the guilty party and marry another, they are free to do so. The guilty party must remain unmarried.
      If two people divorce for no reason such as adultery they must remain unmarried or be reconciled. God still sees them as married to each other. That pretty much it. You can read it in Matthew 5:31, 32.
      The laws of God are different from man’s laws. God’s word regarding marriage, divorce and re-marriage is difficult for some to accept. It was the reason the apostle Paul was beheaded. He spoke out against an adulterous relationship.

      • msarianne

        I meant if they divorce for reason other than adultery, like not getting along, they must remain unmarried or reconcile. God still sees them as married.
        I hope that was clearer.

      • msarianne

        Oops John the Baptist was beheaded not Paul.

  2. Oh, wow, did I have an interesting experience with these concepts today.

    It was courtesy of the two young men (brothers ages 12 and 13) who have been doing chores for me since the summer.

    Today they came to do chores, and I tasked them with putting together an open bookshelf, one made in China with those famous vague pictures and instructions.

    Generally, the instructions showed building it upside down, screwing support posts into the bottom of the top, adding another shelf with holes, screwing the next set of support posts on to the first set through the holes, adding another shelf, more support posts, and finally the bottom shelf with legs.

    One of my helpers said, “I don’t need instructions.” Hmm.

    I left them alone in the kitchen and went into the living room to clean the floor.

    I came back to discover they had put things together the opposite way from what the instructions said, so they couldn’t fit the top on. And they had a few small pieces left over. Hmm.

    I pointed out what the instructions said and offered suggestions. Not received well. Frowning.

    At that moment, the rap song they were playing on their joint cell phone (attached to a mini-speaker) blasted out “Suck my d–k!” I had just, fifteen minutes before, said they could play music as long as it contained no profanity and no bad language about women. Hmm.

    I asked the young man standing next to the speaker to turn it off. “It’s not my responsibility.”

    I said, “Do I need to be the grown-up here? I assume as young men you have the ability to make good choices and be mature.”

    Slowly, with more frowning, his brother turned off his cell phone.

    I then went ballistic. And, young men that they are, they put their heads down and waited out the storm. “Based on your behavior from the summer, I know that you are intelligent, you can problem-solve, and you can get things done quickly. So when I ask someone to turn off the radio because it’s saying bad things about women, I assume they can do it.”

    Silence. Still looking down.

    I said, “I’m sorry, this is the only way I know how to talk. I apologize for interfering with the bookshelf. I’ll leave you to figure it out.”

    So I went back in the living room.

    I got called back in the kitchen, and by golly, they had taken the bookshelf apart and put it back together basically per instructions. “Okay, wow. You did it.”

    It was a bit wobbly because some things had been screwed too tightly, some too loosely. With me looking on, the brothers worked out what needed to be tweaked, and finally, it was more or less stable.

    I said, “If I had been doing this, it would have taken me three hours. Clearly you have more patience than I do. You solved another problem for me. I appreciate it.”

    I paid them, we agreed on work next Saturday, and they left.

    I have to say, the whole time I was praying, “Dear Lord, set them up for success. Enable them to do what I asked them to do so it doesn’t end up being a big mess I can’t compliment them on.”

    If you want concrete proof that God exists, it would be my only slightly wobbly bookshelf.

  3. Anon...

    AMEN.–regarding the bookshelf and ‘INSTRUCTIONS’… (bible; this is almost like a ‘parable’)…this is how LADIES got the best out of MEN…
    besides.. IMO.. most RAP is cRAP…..

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