2660. Strategy for Courtship—06: How Women Do Better—VI


  1. Women typically make each other feel important by showing gratitude and expressing love. They do the same with men, but it doesn’t work the same. Showing gratitude and even love does little more than capture his attention, except it may register as prelude to conquest. She makes him feel important in her eyes by listening to what he has to say, while he seeks to impress her with his knowledge, control the present agenda, and lay some groundwork for conquest. If she can’t or doesn’t listen and make him feel important in her eyes, he will likely look for someone else.
  2. Throughout dating and courtship, I advise this. Her outward attractiveness always appeals to his attention as pleasurably unique, proud to be seen with her by other men. Everything else about her, he has to earn. That is, whatever he expects from her, she refuses until some later and more appropriate date or time. From her, nothing is free. Her nature tells her she’s more important and worthy only if she’s earned by someone proving her worth.
  3. Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Smart women, therefore, develop their own standards up to which men must step or earn. Examples: He hints he’d like to take her out, and she insists on a more direct invitation. He expects a goodnight kiss, and she delays until next date. When she asks but he won’t quit cursing, she insists on being taken home. If he won’t go to church with her, she won’t date him. When he persists inviting her for sex, she stops him with a surprising action— break from their current embrace, a slap, a “take me home”! It’s the surprise that works.
  4. If he won’t honor those and other desires and standards that she develops to test men for sincerity, then he won’t become devoted to her. He lacks enough respect to want to please her. By having high standards for him to live up to, she earns his respect by his earning her permission, appreciation, and confirmation of his worth to her.
  5. This produces competition among couples. Both sexes are born to get their way in life. It works to a couple’s advantage when she allows him to get his way in courtship, and she persuades him to get her way in marriage. Being of the superior sex enables her to take charge both times. Thus, courtship is the proving grounds for her to condition his thinking so that she gets her way beyond the altar. Of course it’s much easier stated than done but built on the following truths:
  • Both sexes are born to get their way in matters of life. It cultivates competition as the strongest driving force of human behavior.
  • Women competing directly with the dominant sex seldom get their way.
  • Men rely on directness and physical and mental strength to get their way in the present. Women rely on natural patience, indirectness, and cooperation to get their way to brighten their future.
  • Women learn as girls they can get their way for the future much better by out-maneuvering their competitive and stronger mate without offending him in the present.
  • Men ‘hire’ wives to take care of those things in married life that men don’t care to be responsible for. It enables wife to get her way with everything for which she’s willing to accept responsibility.
  • A husband satisfied with both her and living with her is satisfied with both his marriage and himself. His investment of self appears safe, and so he stays closer to home.

6. Modern women lose their advantage by blaming or begrudging men while also trying to act more masculine. It’s the wrong way to win courtship success, because greater femininity has many more advantages that men appreciate. Natural differences between the sexes are the glue that both attracts and keeps a couple together.

1 Comment

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

One response to “2660. Strategy for Courtship—06: How Women Do Better—VI

  1. Miss Gina

    “Greater femininity has many more advantages that men appreciate.” Watching how my three-year-old granddaughter just naturally acts her feminine self and wraps her daddy and granddaddy around her little finger with ease proves this. I am now taking lessons from her! 😉

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